Why life is so hard and how to make it better

It doesn't matter what you do, what you love, what you work with. Perhaps there is not a single person in the world who has not at least once wondered why, in fact, his life is exactly the way it is? Sometimes, looking back, we wonder how we even managed to go through such a difficult path, full of both positive and negative moments.

Such philosophical reflections can easily unsettle and set you in a depressive mood. Because I just don’t believe that someone’s life has been exceptionally easy and positive. We all go through losses, disappointments and sad moments from time to time. But this does not mean that you need to constantly twist heavy thoughts in your head and get hung up exclusively on the negative stages of your destiny.

Today I will try to collect all the most popular rhetorical questions together, make them more specific, and also give at least a more or less adequate answer. And, of course, a little drive away the negative. Well, let's go?

Why is life so boring/monotonous/dull/grey?

I decided to combine all these bleak epithets into one chapter. After all, they, in fact, are synonymous with something insipid, one-sided and obviously unattractive. Do you often ask this question and feel the desire to drink the green snake in a purely philosophical way and delve into sad thoughts? Something must be done about this. The liver, you know, is not state-owned, and at work your new hobby is clearly not appreciated.

Suppose you live extremely boring, in your personal opinion. And it's depressing at times. And why did you decide that there is something wrong? There can be several reasons for the emergence of sad thoughts:

Inadequate comparison

Here I mean all sorts of bloggers, active rich people and other popular personalities who constantly expose their life in public. First, first impressions can be quite deceiving. There is no person in the world with an absolutely carefree and saturated fate exclusively with awesome moments. Surely behind the scenes there is something that is better not to be shown to mere mortals. Keep this thought in mind when you once again watch with envy the broadcasts of a boy swinging on a bungee over the azure waters of the Maldives.

Secondly, assess the situation soberly. Can you really here and now spit in the face of your boss, send all your colleagues to hell and spontaneously go somewhere in the tropics so that you can live the rest of your days carelessly there? Surely, if it were so, you did not read this article. Of course, if you constantly compare yourself and your financial capabilities with people who, in principle, are not used to counting money, sadness will come and bring alcohol with them. You should have read Abramovich's blog and become depressed because of the size of his yacht.

In short, just stop comparing yourself to people of a fundamentally different circle. I'm not saying that it's worth sinking to the level of a single-celled one and stupidly scoring development. You should always strive for something good. But when a person considers his life dull and bleak, simply because someone filled the whole boat with models and drove off to hang out for six months on a trip around the world, it’s just let it go nowhere.

Another important point. I remind you that someone has stale bread, while the other has small diamonds. I don’t think that you are such a straight slave that no one has ever envied you. Consider that some people don't have that either. So someone just as well may well compare their life with yours and sigh sadly. Do you think it's bad? Cheer up, everything is known in comparison (correct).

A long absence of proper rest

Of course, then anyone will begin to yearn. A banal lack of endorphins and other pleasant chemistry in the body can set in motion a pendulum of apathy. And then it starts to seem to you in the most natural way that everything is bad, gray, monotonous and generally fu.

How to solve this problem? Don't you guess? Color your life with your own hands. Stop dipping your head into work even on weekends and dragging her home. Any weekend can be a lot brighter if you just get your butt off the couch with the TV or computer.

Surely you are not the son of a billionaire and are not ready to urgently dump somewhere on the islands. But what about at least a trip to another city? Or a vacation spent, say, on Lake Baikal? And there are so many mysterious places of power in Russia where people go just to replenish the wasted vital energy a little.

Friend, Google is your friend. It seems that life has lost all its colors and become nauseatingly boring and monotonous? Try to start small. Just get out of the house. Not ready to give up your favorite beer on Saturdays? Then drink it in some cave or near the ancient trenches somewhere near the ancient settlement, surrounded by rumors. Of course, these are just examples. But a spontaneous trip really helps to bring yourself back into the normal flow of thought. Verified by personal experience.

A richer life in the inner circle

What, you envy when a colleague boasts about another love affair, and his best friend vying with each other says that a couple of days ago he drove a car through several cities at once and dined every morning in different places on the map? And what are you, in fact, worse?

In general, we have such an original mentality in our society that most people really want to make their lives more interesting, but prefer not to do anything for this. But other people are frankly envious, and even in black. Not good, comrade.

And you try to arrange for a colleague or friend to just take you with them next time. It may not work for everyone, but when the relationship is quite close, why not. So you kill two birds with one stone at the same time. Firstly, you will find out if they are exactly as active as they are cracking at every corner. Or is it just a mask, so as not to seem like one of the gray office hamsters. Secondly, more sociable and easy-going people are quite capable of stirring you up for further exploits. Just gain experience, relax and enjoy.

Regular stresses

They generally do not add joy to life. And if you start to analyze each past day in a separate way, you will want to hang on the nearest birch at all. Let go of depression! It's time to do something, otherwise the incessant stress and sad philosophical reflections will simply finish you off.

It is clear that it will not be possible to completely get rid of them. To do this, you just need to do nothing (and preferably not breathe). And certainly not work at all. But at least a little to reduce the negative impact on the psyche is possible.

Be sure to give yourself a digital detox. This fashionable and slightly womanish name means a banal rejection of all interaction with technology and the Internet during the holidays. It just seems complicated. But just imagine how much time it takes to scroll through the Vkontakte news feed or watch stupid videos on Insta. And I'm not even mentioning the infuriating calls from work. Monotony is what makes existence so boring and predictable.

Why is life so sad?

Perhaps this question is even more vague. Most often, your everyday life seems to be so for some specific reason, which you just don’t really want to admit even inside yourself. For example, he had a big fight with a girl, participated in a serious conflict with his superiors, lost his job, his favorite wine in the store went up in price.

In principle, any trifle can become a trigger. As they say, here you are strong, self-sufficient and brutal, and after 5 minutes you already fall into depression, because you ran out of coffee at work. If a person is very tired (physically or mentally), everything falls out of hand, he is haunted by a series of failures, he begins to perceive his whole life in a negative way.

The second point is obsessive sad memories that do not allow you to enjoy what you have now. Over and over again you replay in your head how they didn’t buy you a dog as a child, in the seventh grade a beautiful girl turned out to be dating, and a couple of years ago some moron got in without a queue at the checkout? Most likely, the reason for your sad attitude to life lies precisely in fixing on such petty dirty tricks.

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In fact, this problem is inherent in many people. You don't always get rid of those memories easily, even if they didn't seem like a disaster back then. Sometimes we easily cope with really difficult difficulties and literally break into some little things.

What is the way out of all this? There are several ways to bring yourself to your senses and an adequate state:

  • Do not project every trouble onto your whole life. Do not make mountains out of molehills. You need to look at the scale of the problem with sober eyes, and not through the prism of “the whole life has gone downhill” from the fact that you can’t find a second slippers in the morning. Yes, it's annoying. Yes, it's annoying. But this is just an isolated case and nothing more.
  • Do not pay too much attention to every negative point. Know how to separate the wheat from the chaff, as they say. If you constantly think about why life is so sad, because of any nonsense, it begins to gradually add up to one big piz... Well, you understand, right? In general, nothing good will come of this.
  • Learn to see the good. In fact, there are many positive moments in life too. The main thing is just to be able to focus on them in time. Do you remember about the worldview of the bee and the fly, that the first sees exceptionally bright and beautiful flowers, and the second only heaps of the same? It's the same with people. If you don’t want to get depressed because of constant sad thoughts, try to look at the world with slightly different eyes. Don't be a dung fly, in short. Flowers are also found along the way.
  • Take a break in time. It is very easy to burn out with the modern pace of life. And when a series of troubles overtakes you, you need to be able to just stop at the right moment and think about what is wrong here. It is likely that you just need to take a break, as the body is currently unable to cope with the increased load. Hence all the jambs. Here you have a sad life against the backdrop of constant unsuccessful moments.

It's not really that bad, believe me. In your past, there are probably a lot of bright memories that you can sort through with a smile and gratitude. Concentrate on them more often, and not on how in elementary school he sat down with his trousers on chewing gum.

Why is life so cruel/harsh?

We continue to conquer rhetoric. Here I myself want to ask you, my dear reader, and who, in principle, complicated it for you, huh? Okay, I won’t exaggerate, there are moments when you really have to overcome some significant obstacles. But, first of all, everyone has it. Secondly, there is nothing catastrophic in this. Thirdly, this is how the character of an adult personality is formed.

Do you think fate is too harsh? Think about what exactly helped you become who you are now. Let not all people at the moment of reflection of this kind have achieved some unprecedented financial or social heights. But each person has a certain character, experience, knowledge, habits, memories, after all. Without difficulties and trials, you will never be able to become someone special.

Actually, I can't call my life easy either. Either you are climbing the career ladder, or you are treacherously thrown off it, because they are afraid of the hidden potential and capabilities of the opponent. Here I am in a strong and long relationship, and now they flew to one well-known mother, because the person, it turns out, was just thinking about another all this time (and not only dreaming, as it turned out).

Do I find my life simple? Definitely not. Do I find it cruel or too harsh? The answer will also be negative. Everyone has his own path. Such moments roll over us like pebbles, gradually making them more individual, forming small dents and scratches that create a unique and inimitable relief.

Treat such a past with respect and gratitude. It's an experience, albeit not an easy one. Now you are older, more experienced and (I hope at least) smarter. Surely you are already trying not to repeat the mistakes made earlier. This is how life's path is paved to something better. Without a negative experience in a relationship, you cannot appreciate the person who is destined for you by fate. Without betrayal, one does not begin to appreciate real friendship. Everything happens for a reason, and not just to complicate your existence in this world.

Why is life so fast/short?

Also a rather interesting question, in my opinion. At some moments, the hours are simply unbearably painful. For example, when you are waiting for a girl on a first date or sitting at a meeting with the director. I’m generally silent about office everyday life, it’s high time to introduce triple experience there. 3 years, for example. Because the tasks were already over, and I drank tea 8 times, and emptied the whole pack during a smoke break, but only an hour and a half had passed. Mystic, and only.

But more often than not, when you start to think, it seems as if life literally flashes right under your nose. And you don't even participate in it. Kindergarten, school, first kiss, first love, first sex (it can be put anywhere on this list, in principle), college, work, another, third... rolls ”replaced the crackling in the knees, you don’t swell up from a chic party, but simply because you can, and luxurious intimacy is when your wife finally does not have a headache.

Sadly, I do not argue. Not everyone, however, is like that, but in general the picture is similar. But it seems that just yesterday you were hanging out with the boys in a computer club (at night, it’s cheaper), lit up at a disco for Tender May or Nirvana, made an offer... So why is life so fast?

You just don't notice much in her way. Yes, the days are flying. And when you are busy with routine work, small children are at home, and the only entertainment is playing in tanks upon arrival at the apartment, it seems that there is very little left. So you can turn into an old man ahead of time. You are more careful with this, comrade.

And what to do in such a situation? I can give some advice, as someone slowly but surely striving for his fourth anniversary, still keeping the awl in a soft place:

  • Do not dwell on the opinions of others when it comes to your addictions and hobbies. Do you want to get high and buy yourself a radio-controlled model? Dare. And who's stopping you?
  • Shake youth regularly. Invite your wife on a date. Let her get her most beautiful evening dress from the depths of the closet filled with children's clothes. A luxurious figure does not fit after childbirth? No problem. Go and buy a new one. Offspring for grandparents. You can for the evening. And let's remember how it used to be something. Look, life doesn't seem so short anymore. After all, there are so many great moments behind them. And they can be replayed again in their own way.
  • Don't be afraid of change. Sometimes the unloved work greatly affects the speed of the flow of time. If you began to think about why life is so fleeting, in a negative way, maybe it's time to change something in it in order to better fix on every single moment? Sometimes people change their specialty, not because they cannot develop in it, and not because they pay little money. Not every work gives a sense of the fullness of one's being.

In order to slow down the passage of time even a little, try to pay more attention to each of your days. Make it truly memorable. For example, arrange an unplanned meeting with friends, take the whole family, say, to the circus. Laziness is what speeds up our life and makes it much more monotonous. And it is possible, necessary and quite realistic to fight.

Why is life so expensive?

Ha, probably in Russia this topic is familiar to almost everyone. Majors, golden youth and all sorts of top-level managers with platinum toilet bowls are not taken into account. I agree that inflation is growing exponentially, the price tags are terrifying, and only our labor is getting cheaper. That's a pretty good reason for depression. Seemingly. But not everything is so clear.

Let's look at why we generally think that life is expensive. There are several options for the formation of such thinking:

Existence beyond one's means

Quite a common principle today. You want everything at once, but, alas, there is only enough money for nothing and gradually. What to do? Of course, take a loan (sign "sarcasm"). As a result, you become a happy owner of a brand new iPhone, branded clothes and, for example, a foreign car. And you get a monthly dowry.

Do you know why even in this situation you will think that life is too expensive? Everything is very simple. iPhones are stamped every year, clothes wear out and become unusable, and a foreign car requires expensive maintenance and regular refueling with some kind of fuel. And also loans hang, yeah. So it turns out that the salary seems to be average in the city, but you are in poverty, and you don’t have an extra penny in your pocket. Do not do like this.

Many wealthy people claim that they pay more attention to the quality and functionality of things than to their logo. It may seem to you that from the height of your money it is very easy to say this. However, many of them have earned them from scratch. Why is life so expensive? Because you're just not trying to keep up with that.

Focusing too much on very rich people

Strive for new heights is good. To envy in black is bad. Embrace these two simple truths. Why drive yourself into the fifth corner at all just because someone rides in the Bahamas or Courchevel 3 times a year? In this way, you will only earn an ulcer.

Try to focus on those who are closer, but to whom you still need to reach out. These people are motivating. And you will no longer feel that life is too expensive. After all, your role model will be in approximately the same social plane.

Psychology of poverty

The term is popular, but not entirely clear to the majority. When you are shaking over every penny, thinking that you live paycheck to paycheck and save even on normal products, the life of everything seems too expensive, and even an unaffordable luxury.

I'm not talking about the fact that you need to let everything down to nowhere (read the first paragraph). But walking in torn sneakers and eating low-quality food is clearly not good. So you risk your health and make far from the best impression. It is unlikely that such a person will be invited to a good position. Don't feel poor. Learn to manage available finances correctly.

Yes, life is not sugar for you. But if you always see only the bad in everything, you can safely start crawling towards the crematorium (I am for environmental friendliness). Do not get hung up on difficulties, learn to relax normally and treat minor troubles more easily. And life will seem much more joyful. Good luck!