The fair sex is sometimes not so easy to interest. Sometimes you just don't understand what they all lack. It seems that you look adequate, and you are not deprived of finances (now they all put them in first place in relationships for some reason), but all the same, the girls are in no hurry to fall into an enthusiastic swoon and stack themselves in piles. So what's the reason?
In fact, it is problematic to give one clear and specific answer to this question. Sometimes a man has several annoying factors at once that prevent him from becoming a favorite among ladies. In some cases, he is alone, but to determine him, you need to dig a little deeper into the psychology of the individual.
I want to share with you my personal life experiences, as well as the opinions of many girls, among whom I conducted a small survey regarding sympathy for guys and the reasons for its absence. Of course, without advice on correcting errors will not do.
Lack of sense of humor
If the question “why don’t you like me girls" has been bothering you for a long time in the most serious way, most likely, you do not know how to build easy and relaxed communication. And what does it contribute to? Of course, a good sense of humor. As practice shows, many girls can even turn a blind eye to most of the other shortcomings of their potential partner, if he knows how to cheer up and be on the same wavelength with them.
Do you have obvious problems with humor, and the invariable motto is the canonical phrase “life is decay”? Try the following tips:
- Avoid hackneyed "Mirror Mirror" jokes. If your lady is less than 60 years old, believe me, she will not appreciate this.
- Remember that a joke that is only funny to you will likely not have the desired effect on your companion. The sense of humor is very specific.
- Try not to touch too personal and sensitive topics in this matter. Joking about the figure of a girl, her character and relatives is allowed only if you have been dating for a long time, and even that is not a fact. A woman may well be seriously offended.
- Eliminate too vulgar jokes from your arsenal. Often they only repel the ladies. Besides, it's a typical sign of mommy's homegrown alpha who learned to hit women from the book "100 best pickup tricks."Believe me, this only works with very narrow-minded partners.
- Make sure you and the girl speak the same language. After all, professional humor is mostly understandable only to specialists who revolve in this field.
- Jokes are relevant only when they are said at the right time. Inappropriate humor is annoying and can even offend a person.
In principle, everything is not so complicated. If a sense of humor is present at all, you can just find a girl who will perceive it normally. In truth, I myself am quite specific in terms of joking, but my man is not at all embarrassed by this state of affairs. So go in search of a sweetheart with whom your interests will be a little more similar.
When the sense of humor is absent as a given, it is already much more difficult. You will have to use heavy artillery so that women do not run away from your sour face, namely:
- watch more modern humorous programs (but filter out rudeness and pure vulgarity);
- remember how your more successful friends and acquaintances usually make fun of girls;
- pay attention to what makes the surrounding ladies laugh;
- react yourself to her jokes (even if you don’t give anything sensible yourself, at least you flatter her).
Why don't girls like me, even though I bought all the most fashionable and expensive? Are you asking yourself this question lately? Then read carefully and remember. Even the most elite clothing brand becomes like a cheap rag from a pedestrian crossing if the thing is wrinkled, stained, and you yourself last showered and combed your hair last week.
Keep in mind that all girls are terrible neat women (well.... almost everything, I basically don’t consider dirty, I don’t think that you are interested in just such a type). They will notice any imperfection in the external image. Your clothes may not be outrageously expensive. But you definitely need to take care of her, just like you love yourself (you are your mother’s only sweet pie, well).
Here are a couple of tips for you on how to please a girl if shopping at the Central Department Store is not allowed not so much by conscience as by the lack of a budget:
- If you don’t have time to clean up before a date, it’s better contact the lady of the heart and reschedule the meeting a bit. It's better to appear a little tactless than a foul-smelling homeless person looking for affection, warmth, and something to eat.
- You don't have to iron every crease or button up every button on a perfectly pressed shirt. But believe me, there is a real abyss between the clothes that are wrinkled under the jacket and the ones that have just been taken out of the dryer. To cut down on packing time a bit, hang things vertically in your closet, rather than throwing them on a chair or in a corner. So they will almost always look neat.
- Standing socks are strictly prohibited. Remember that the phrase “a real man must be powerful, hairy and smelly” was invented by guys who are just too lazy to take care of themselves (in fact, this was said in retaliation to the ladies who did not pay attention to them). Clean socks and fresh underwear are your minimum gentleman's kit. Otherwise, you'll be wondering all your life why girls don't like me.
- Use perfume. Try to choose a fragrance that is not too harsh and will not "suffocate" everyone around you. And you don’t need to pour half of the bottle on yourself at once, it’s enough to make just a couple of puffs. A pleasant aroma always makes a girl move a little closer. Achtung! Perfume does not replace water treatments.
- Always use deodorant. It is desirable, of course, that its smell is at least somehow combined with toilet water. Ideally, you should purchase them from the same series.
- Be sure to put your hair in order. You don't have to get a trendy haircut and spend 40 minutes in front of a mirror styling it like a boy model in an Italian underwear ad. But at least it’s definitely worth combing your hair before leaving the house. And don't forget to wash your hair often. Even when the hair is short, in a greasy state they look unimportant. And they also smell not a fountain.
- Always pay attention to shoes. Dirty branded sneakers repel women. At least make sure you leave the house clean. And how you get to the place of rendezvous, this is the tenth thing. Just in case, you can take a sponge for shoes with you (no, far from representatives of non-traditional sexual orientation do this).
- If you wear a mustache or a beard, do not forget to look after them. Now there are a lot of different professional tools that allow you to look like from the cover of a stylish magazine about sexy lumberjacks. Can't handle your facial hair on your own? Take some time and visit a barbershop at least once. There you will be taught to be a stylish and attractive male to the opposite sex.
All these recommendations seem very banal. It would seem that what is so new in the advice to take a shower more often and take care of your clothes? However, judging by my personal experience, many men neglect them, being sure that expensive clothes, a cool car and a fancy smartphone will somehow muffle their musky stink and automatically remove greasy heels from a branded T-shirt.
Do not console yourself with hope, otherwise you will then cry into your vest that only materialistic ladies pay attention to you, who generally do not care who to jump into bed with their nose pinched and their eyes closed. Normal women like well-groomed guys who are not too lazy to take care of themselves.
Inability to keep up a conversation
What should I do if girls don't like me? Are you thinking about it? What about constructive and fruitful communication? Yes, most ladies really love with their ears. Therefore, you need to communicate with them a lot, for a long time and in various ways... to communicate, and not what you thought (although this will not hurt either, we are all adults here).
If instead of a fascinating dialogue you can only make inarticulate sounds or do not consider it necessary to let your companion speak at all, consider that there is simply no chance for a romance to develop. Many ladies quite sincerely admit that they cannot seriously get carried away by a partner with whom they have nothing to talk about. Sex is sex, and then a heart-to-heart talk is a hunt.
Here are some useful tips on how to start liking women by improving communication skills:
- Be able to listen and hear. From time to time it is worth returning to your interlocutor her own phrases, or at least parts of them. This way you will make it clear that you treat her with special attention. It's captivating. Otherwise, there is a risk of getting into a mess when a girl asks you a couple of questions, and you stupidly don’t remember what it was all about in her monologue. Further, it is definitely not worth counting on the continuation of the banquet.
- Ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered in monosyllables like yes or no, but you will have to tell something in detail. This indicates your interest in your interlocutor.
- Be emotional. Even the most exciting story will seem incredibly boring and insipid to a girl if she is told in an extinct voice. You're not sitting at a lecture at the institute, after all. And don't forget about gestures. The openness and richness of the dialogue always attract the opposite sex.
- Adjust your voice timbre and speed of speech to the girl's temperament. So you will be much more comfortable to conduct a dialogue. This is the notorious “one wave” with a woman that all the guys are trying to hit, but they simply don’t understand what needs to be done at all.
- Focus on the needs of your interlocutor. Still, your main task is to establish contact with the girl, and not spend half an evening talking about how something didn’t work in your online game at the next ice rink. Therefore, touch on as many topics that are understandable and interesting to a particular woman as possible.
- Do not show that you are frankly bored. Yawning and sticking to the phone is ugly, and generally unacceptable. If there are no more moral and immoral forces to listen to about Dom-2, suggest changing the subject. In principle, you can even openly declare that you do not understand this direction, but you can talk about any other topic. If the girl is adequate (and you don’t need another, believe me, there are too many sad Russian turnips about heifers in the world, don’t expand his repertoire, pliz), she will react to such a proposal quite normally.
Yes, if you want to learn how to please ladies, you will have to communicate with words through your mouth and nothing else. In addition, I advise you to refrain from using a lot of profanity in your speech. Not all women get it.
Complexes and lack of confidence in their own attractiveness have not yet helped to start a single romance. If the search history in your browser contains, in addition to searching for erotica, only the phrase “girls don’t like me, what should I do, I don’t want to die a virgin, help”, it’s time to somehow solve this problem.
Here are some recommendations for you to stop feeling like a too modest boy who will not be able to interest anyone anyway:
- Go in for sports. Dude, this really works. You shouldn't even be a Schwartz-style jock. Just improve muscle tone, pull yourself up, straighten your shoulders and back. You won’t even notice how your gait will change, and the girls will begin to glance more approvingly.
- Stop focusing on your shortcomings. It is you who know that they exist and see in them some kind of tragedy on a universal scale. But a girl may not care at all that you, for example, sweat when you are nervous (we also suffer from this, count up) or you limp a little on one leg. Most often, such disadvantages go unnoticed if the guy is an excellent conversationalist and attentive lover.
- Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Even if you did something wrong in the process of meeting and communicating with a lady, you should not immediately sprinkle ashes on your head and be afraid that nothing will work out with this girl. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, it's completely normal. In addition, ladies themselves are often nervous in the process of building new relationships. Relax and take it easy, as they say.
- Do not wind yourself up over trifles. Here I mean the jealousy of every pillar and the firm belief that the girl will certainly find someone better for herself. First, it looks pathetic. Secondly, internal reflections and fears often have nothing to do with reality. Thirdly, in this way you only push your beloved to part.
- Learn to admit your mistakes. It's not as scary as it seems. But women will immediately feel your strength and self-confidence. After all, only a man without any psychological problems is able to quite calmly admit that he was wrong in any matter.
Still wondering "why girls don't like me"? Most likely, they simply see in you a person who is thoroughly saturated with complexes. I would also advise you to visit a specialist on these issues, but, frankly, I don’t believe that an adult man went straight to a psychotherapist like that. A fragment of a spear in the back does not interfere with sleep yet, right?
It is clear that now is not the 19th century, when, due to the inability to properly use a million cutlery, one could remain a virgin for life and bachelor. However, it is still necessary to have some kind of base of decency. Guys who know good manners automatically get a bonus in the eyes of the fair sex.
Here is what will help you attract the attention of a girl and get a couple of pluses in your karma:
- If you get out of public transport or a car, do not be too lazy to be the first on the street and serve your beloved hand. It looks very elegant.
- Don't talk or laugh too loudly in a public place. It is also not recommended to swing your arms too much. This attracts unnecessary attention and the girl may feel uncomfortable.
- If after dinner in a cafe or restaurant (the level of the institution is not very important, only if it is not fast food and not the nearest cheburek) everything suits you, you should leave a tip by default. The standard amount is approximately 10% of the bill, but it can be quite less. Such behavior is a sign of good manners. Many women pay attention to this.
- Do not discuss behind the back of your mutual acquaintances, and even more so other girls. This is indecent, and the lady may think that you are doing the same in her absence.
- If you prefer business style attire, remember that a tie is not worn with a shirt with short sleeves. This is bad tone.
- Do not call to a girl (or any other person) from a distance, chase after him and pat on the shoulder as a greeting. You must first catch up with him and get into the field of view.
- Always walk to the left of your companion. The military is an exception.
- If you want to smoke a cigarette in the presence of a lady, you should ask her consent. This is especially true today, as many women complain about such faux pas on the part of most guys.
- If a girl is standing, then no decent man will sit in her presence. When she gets up from the table, the members of the opposite sex who are nearby also rise.
Greed and calculating attitude towards women
Humble yourself, old man, if you are used to counting every penny and sincerely think that buying ice cream for a girl on a walk - this is an unaffordable luxury, for which you are entitled to a royal "omelette", you will not be liked by the ladies. And it's not about female commercialism.
There are really many hunters for men's wallets. In principle, such ladies can be seen from afar, so you just need to learn to recognize them by the first bells. But this is “why do you need boots, have you taken your skates off yet?” should be forgotten once and for all.
First of all, what makes you think that you even look like a potential oligarch in the eyes of women? Now many girls make very good money and do not consider your salary as much as 50 thousand wooden ones to be a luxury. Soberly assess your capabilities. Sometimes it's just plain paranoia.
Secondly, true greed is a real pathology. Nobody talks about the full maintenance of the girl and the fulfillment of all her wishes (let's be honest, not everyone wants to depend on a man now). But it’s banal to bring sweets for tea, pay for a skating rink or give flowers - this is the norm.
This is just courtship, which really shows that you can create a family in the future, and you won’t demand pickles at the expense of your wife while lying on the couch. Yes, modern women are also, oh, how afraid of running into a gigolo and a home bum (mother's basket), who has paws.
Thirdly, if you see a greedy predator dreaming of sitting on the neck of a man in every cross-section you meet, then you will attract just such people. And normal people will start to shy away, because no one needs a man who is always buzzing and embittered at the entire female sex.
So come on, don't make yourself the breadwinner of the universe. Healthy relationships today involve investments from both partners, including material ones. But it is quite possible to take care of your girlfriend. If you give her iPhones, Maldives and fur coats from the first month of dating, you just ran into the wrong one. Go ahead. Business something. There are a dime a dozen normal ones, only you need to look for them not in clubs and not at registrations. They work, and not only go to fitness to pump ass, count up.
What if girls don't like me? First, stop beating yourself up. It's not all that bad as long as nobody dies. Secondly, try to look at yourself from the outside and soberly assess the situation. You probably just haven't met your man yet. Or there are a number of problems that need to be worked out. In any case, believe in yourself, and everything will definitely work out. Good luck!