Why does a girl not want sex?

Have you wondered for a long time why girls dodge sex in every possible way? Is it a game of cat and mouse, unwillingness to have sex, manipulation, frigidity, unpreparedness?

The brain of a modern woman is a tricky thing. What is not here! An element called "female logic" and... the most terrible area for men... an area that generates an eternal headache.

Jokes are jokes, and women's permanent migraine, bad mood, fatigue after a hard day's work - how many "excuses" women just didn't come up with, trying to evade their duties as a mistress, bride, wife - in general, females. But why? Why come up with so many reasons and excuses for not having sex?

There are many options, they all depend on the situation, her temperament, his skills and abilities, and of the relationship between the partners.

Firstly, perhaps the time for bed relations has not yet come: a woman refuses a man whom she knows too little and is not ready to trust herself, her beloved, to the first person she meets. People even talk about a certain “rule of three dates”, which states that a decent girl cannot go to bed with a boyfriend after the first and even second rendezvous. A matter of principle, they say.

Secondly, the partner may not be ready for sexual intercourse for physiological reasons or - which also happens - for hygienic reasons. For example, she didn’t shave her legs on time or didn’t change her underwear... And then an unexpected passion, like snow on the head! And no matter how much they both would not like it - a categorical "no" follows in response.

Option three. A friend / spouse / lover may be offended (by words, actions) or want something in return. In this case, sex becomes a means of manipulation, and the defiantly offended party dictates its conditions: either I get what I want, or don't touch me. There is such an ancient Greek poem "Lysistratus", named after an Athenian woman who organized a conspiracy of wives. The Athenians refused their warrior husbands carnal pleasures and demanded that they lay down their arms. Not all wives withstood the "moratorium" to the end, but the goal was nevertheless achieved. (Vivat, women's solidarity!) Centuries have passed, but women's tactics have not changed, have they?

Fourth, a woman may think she is being used. We are not to blame for the fact that the Adams of the 20th century swear “I love!”, but they themselves think only about satisfying their physiological needs in procreation. In general, for them, recognition has lost its price - they say on any occasion, manipulating the effect as they please: “Honey, yes, I forgot to buy a light bulb / fix the tap / arrive on time (underline as necessary), but you know how much I love you!” We believe, we are caught by cheap tricks, and then we are deeply disappointed. So maybe it's better not to believe?

… Young people, do not scatter holy words right and left and, we beg you, do not use “love” (dishonest, insincere) as keys to the partner’s body! It is low and vile - to play on the feelings of your beloved!

Option five and really real - The woman does not want to. She may not want this particular person (being unsure of her feelings), or she may not want her beloved at the moment (there are actually bad moods and fatigue. We also work and get no less tired!). But the most dangerous reason for “not wanting” is psychological. Frigidity, psychological trauma, distrust, timidity, shame, unpreparedness and much, much more. Let's dwell on some problems separately.

Shyness, shame

“There is no sex,” this phrase, being commonplace thirty years ago, became the motto of a whole generation. And people who were born brought up in the conditions of such an ideology still firmly believe that sex is a dirty, forbidden topic. And by the way, those born later, but raised by their mothers according to the puritan principle “Sex is bad,” think so.


A very common diagnosis among “unwanted”. The fact is that women are more sensual creatures, feeling, not understanding love according to the “put it in and take it out” system. For us, caresses, gentle and loving hands, a soothing whisper in your ear, an intimate atmosphere are too important. Not every male, who cares only about the spread of the seed (under any conditions!), understands the desires and aspirations of his passion. It's a pity! How many "migraines" would be cured if men were more sensitive...

Perhaps it is worth making a small digression and specifying separately the fact that sex in the prism of the female mentality is not equal to sex in the understanding of the gender of the strong. Those are two HUGE differences. For young ladies, the bed is inseparable from feeling. (That is why confessions and caresses are so important for them, and therefore copulation with an unloved person is perceived as a difficult test). But for men, a spiritual connection in bed is not an essential thing. Example? Let's say two people have a fight. She will never go for rapprochement due to the inflicted insult. He simply will not have such a “problem”! Male physiology and love are two planes, either parallel or intersecting, but rarely coinciding. C'est la vie?..

Psychological trauma received some time ago.


Yes, there is no such thing in nature! Scientists have repeatedly proven that there are no frigid women, there are women who have bad partners, those who could please, give real pleasure. Therefore, immediately, without losing the logic in our reasoning, we move on to the next reason...

The next reason is the lack of pleasure, in the sense of orgasm. After all, it is this firework of feelings that both partners are waiting for. But, if bliss does not come from time to time, the woman is disappointed and thinks: “Why is he then, sex?” But this is a rarity…

By the way, outwardly a woman can experience an orgasm, but - frankly admitting - imitate it. And for years. In fact, such a "pretender" is constantly torturing herself, having sex as a kind of work. And then the familiar to the soreness of “I'm tired” begins.

Solving a problem requires a lot of patience and sensitivity from both partners. To constantly try something new, to study the body of your beloved, finding new erogenous points and enjoy it to the maximum. To "fight and seek, find and"... finish.

Here, perhaps, are the main reasons for “not wanting” - the origins of female migraines, fatigue and bad mood. However, you can read a hundred articles about “not wanting” but still not solve the problem, bumping into the wall “Not today, darling.” The age-old question: "What to do?" The only correct way out is a relationship built on mutual trust, when problems are not hushed up, but discussed, both on sensitivity and attentiveness... In short, on love.