Carter Lowe Creator, entrepreneur, and self-care advocate
Reading time: 5 min

Why can't I reach my goal?

Nothing works? Set goals, make plans and dream about the future, but do not budge. The reasons that nothing works out, and goals and dreams remain out of reach.

Setting a goal and not achieving it - do you know this? Most of the time, we don't even understand why this happens. Sometimes it's just that we just don't know how to set goals. And sometimes our environment holds us back. Below are the reasons why we often fail to achieve the goal.

Non-native goals

Have you ever wondered why you want to achieve this particular goal?

Society dictates its own standards to us, which we must comply with. From childhood, we are hammered into our heads that we will be successful only when we have a good job, a car, an apartment and a family. So we set ourselves such goals that do not resonate in the soul, but which are required by society.

How many of your goals were truly yours? What did you want to achieve specifically for yourself, and not for the sake of trying to prove something to someone?

When I worked in a TV project as a casting director, I met a lot of girls who came to auditions not for the idea of ​​the project. They said: “My father left the family when I was little. I want to be shown on TV and he saw that I became a star. So that he understands that we did just fine without him!

I asked these girls: “Why do you want to get into the project? Because you want to prove to your father or for the sake of an idea? And then the girls had a stupor, because they did not know what to answer.

So if your goals don't fire you up and move you forward, maybe they aren't your goals at all?

A vague and unmeasurable goal

All business coaches unanimously say that “I want to make a lot of money” is too vague a goal. A lot is a loose concept. For some, a lot is a hundred thousand rubles a month, and for someone - a million dollars.

For a goal to be truly attainable, it must be specific and easily measurable. For example, instead of "Improve English knowledge" - "Pass the English exam at the Upper-Intermediate level."

Ask yourself the question: “How will I know that the goal has been achieved? With what results?

The goal has no deadline

Recently I realized that when we say "someday" - it's the same as saying "never", just not in such a categorical way. If you put off something until "someday," chances are you'll never do it.

There is a joke on this topic: "The friendship of two adults is when they constantly say "we must meet somehow" until one of them dies."

Never.

The goal must necessarily have a time frame. Without this, well, absolutely nothing. If you don't give yourself a deadline to reach your goal, then the goal will be achieved "never."

We do not change habits

Setting goals is important and necessary, but only the right habits determine our success.

If after reaching the goal you do not maintain the result, then you will very quickly return to the old one.

For example, you want to lose 10 kilograms by the summer. However, just losing extra pounds is not enough, you also need to keep fit. And it’s not easy to keep yourself in the same mode all the time.

Instead of short-term rigid self-control, it is better to develop habits that will create a lifestyle where extra pounds simply will not appear anymore. It is better to start with simple habits: exercises in the morning, replacing white bread and buns with healthy black bread.

Habits do not require constant effort and willpower. And in this they differ from working on a goal.

We don't track progress

Keeping a goal in mind is hard enough. In addition, if you do not specifically focus on this, then in the abyss of urgent matters there is simply no time left for the most important things. Remember how often it happens that you seemed to be busy all day, but did not take a single step towards the goal?

In order to make it easier to organize yourself and achieve your goals, you can use special diaries. One of them is the diary “Cosmos. Agile personal development journal by Katerina Lengold. It is based on four effective techniques: setting goals for 9-week sprints and tracking weekly progress, forming good habits, planning the day in 30-minute blocks, and daily reflection.

Your environment does not allow you to develop

Do you know the theory of a bucket of crabs? If you put crabs in a bucket of water, they won't be able to get out. As soon as one crab starts to climb up, the others will grab onto it and prevent it from doing so. Although, if there was only one crab in the bucket, he would get out without problems.

The bucket of crabs theory very clearly reflects the environment that does not allow a person to develop. You can set very ambitious goals for yourself, but without the support of the people around you, it will be difficult to achieve them.

A friend of mine complained that he couldn't get up. It's like something is dragging him down all the time.

It turned out that his friends are like theory crabs. They were not interested in anything other than drinking beer while watching TV shows together. When my friend tried to deviate from these meetings in order to spend his time on something more useful, his friends were offended by him. Is it necessary to say that until he says a firm “no” to his friends, nothing will change in his life?

Think about whether the environment is pulling you down? If your goal is to lead a healthy lifestyle, but you are surrounded by McDonald's and bar regulars, then it is unlikely that you will last long with your diet and jogs. Find people whose goals match yours. It's easier together.