What to do if you are lonely: loneliness or freedom

Let's think today about what to do if you feel lonely, you have no friends, a loved one and loved ones. Also consider a situation where you seem to have close people and even a partner, but you still feel endlessly lonely. How to deal with this feeling of loneliness and what to do? Maybe you need to find someone? How to change your life radically?

It's actually okay to be alone. Well, for some reason, for some people who have not been children for a long time, loneliness is something that frightens, frustrates and sometimes even terrifies.

Well, let's think about when we were not alone in our lives? Don't you think it was only when you were in your mother's belly? The fact is that we come into this world alone, are born, some people surround us from time to time, but in the end we still remain alone. And this is absolutely normal.

In fact, each of us is alone, what matters is how we relate to this loneliness. You may have heard that creative people call loneliness freedom. Think about it. If you stop and stop being afraid, then you can understand what a blessing this really is.

Also, scientists have always been interested in this problem, psychologists have been doing this and conducted a lot of surveys. Most people agree that it is nice to be alone, but in any case, it is better when there is some kind of loved one nearby who will support. Lonely people usually think differently. They think that their loneliness is some kind of imprisonment. They often feel pain and suffering. At the same time, loneliness oppresses them so much that they cannot think about the future. And while loneliness can be very hard, there are ways that can help you get out of this state.

What to do if you are alone

1. Of course, first of all, you should clearly and clearly admit to yourself that the situation is like this. You are alone and something needs to be done if you want to change everything. Sitting still is not an option. So first identify the problem, and then tell yourself that you can change it for the better. It can be called affirmations, when you inspire yourself and tell yourself that everything will be fine with you. These phrases must be convincing, they must inspire you and also be positive, and for this, avoid the “not” particle and any other denial. A good option is “I am ready to change and say goodbye to my loneliness” / “I will definitely have enough strength for this.”

2. When you have identified this problem in front of you, you need to start acting. Even if you are not ready now to go into the crowd and get to know someone, you should at least start with cleaning. By the way, it has been proven that cleaning very well helps to fight the blues and clear the negative not only from the apartment, but also from your head.

3. By the way, many psychologists advise to hum something loudly while cleaning. Put on your favorite playlist and sing along. Remember that you are a living person and you can entertain yourself. That way you stop feeling lonely. And we can move on.

It is worth talking about the playlist in more detail: refrain from listening to sad tracks, even if they are your favorite. All songs that contain the words "miss / love / any suffering and regrets" do not need to be included. Someday, when you are no longer in such a depressed state, you can listen to these tracks, but now, when you feel bad, do not forget that music has a very strong effect on the psyche, and if you choose negativity and sadness, then it is so you will be set. It won't get better. Sociologists recommend choosing tracks that invigorate to the maximum. Let it be hot Latin American hits, as well as peppy classical music like marches.

4. The next step is to change the style. Yes, you can’t run away from yourself, but by changing your image and style drastically, you get into the game, it can provoke you, and it can also attract people around you. So you will meet someone and you will no longer be lonely. If you don’t meet anyone when you change your appearance, then with the help of a new style you will be well distracted and run away from yourself at first, which is also not bad for the first steps. Say goodbye to yourself old, sad, lonely and unhappy. The more radically you change, the better. Ideally, you should become a different person.

5. Once you have figured out your appearance, you will need to come up with a new image of yourself. Some of your favorite firms, books can help you with this. Try to make sure that you become who you always wanted to be. Perhaps you have some ideal. Try to be more positive. To do this, you will need to train in front of a mirror, start at least with a smile. Yes, it's hard enough to smile every day if you're burning with loneliness. But if you continue to suffer, absolutely nothing will change. So why not try some other approach?

6. Quite common advice and sometimes it may seem naive to someone, but it really works. Its essence lies in the fact that you need to get rid of all the old things in the house, and of course, the first thing you need to do is throw out old clothes. Most likely, you have a worn T-shirt or pullover that characterizes you yourself: so unhappy, gray and lonely. Part with him without regret, and let him be picked up by one who has no clothes at all. Buy yourself something new. Let it be something that you have never worn before: something unusual and perhaps even strange.

7. No matter how strange it may seem, try to turn to the elements. What does it mean? This is not entirely about esotericism, but rather about the atmosphere in the house. For example, the element of fire will help you create comfort in your apartment. After all, loneliness does not mean that you have to sit in the cold four walls and suffer. Comfort is first of all candles, right? For many people, candles are associated with warmth and something pleasant. Buy yourself a set of scented candles and light them in the evenings. Notice how the atmosphere changes.

Next, let's turn to water. Everyone probably knows that water is a good way to cope with stress. This is a contrast shower and a bubble bath. If you want to be calm and balanced, turn to water, it will calm you down.

Air also helps. If you're thinking what to do, if you're lonely, then think about your breathing. Yes, it is breathing that greatly affects your attitude. If you haven't tried meditation and breathing exercises yet, it's time to start. Gymnastics by changing different breathing cycles will help you fight depression and not only with it.

As far as the land is concerned, here one can start with the cultivation of plants. And you do not need to go to the store and buy yourself a ready-made flower in a pot. Treat it like raising a new friend. To do this, you can buy an avocado (preferably three pieces at once). Its bones germinate quite easily. When you have eaten the fruits, take out the seeds and peel them, then stick toothpicks on 3 sides and dip the bottom of the stone into a glass of water. Within a couple of weeks, the bones will begin to sprout. When the white new spine reaches 3-4 cm, go to the store and buy a pot and soil. Then plant all three seeds together not far from each other. No need to throw away the seeds themselves, because the roots will receive nutrients from them. When the sprouts go up, start weaving the trunk. As a result, you will get a small and cute avocado tree that you have grown yourself. This helps very well to fight loneliness (meaning communication with the earth).

It is also helpful to walk barefoot. Yes, in any weather. Find some square where you can walk and go there every day for at least 5-10 minutes to walk around barefoot.

8. Learn to talk to yourself. It may sound crazy to you, but there's nothing wrong with that. Some psychologists advise keeping a personal diary and writing down all your experiences and plans there. But if you feel lonely, then it is better to say your plans and dreams out loud. It will work much better for you. What is it for? Such a technique helps you show that you are not alone, that you have you, and this may be enough for a comfortable life without nerves, without regrets and without sadness.

9. Try color therapy. Perhaps you know how strongly certain colors can affect us. Buy bright curtains, a bedspread or kitchen utensils. When you go outside, try to pay attention to various things, interior items and, of course, clothes. Buy yourself some bright clothes and wear them more often. Not bad if it will be a home suit.

10. In addition to flowers, turn to aromatherapy. We already mentioned scented candles, but you can also use an air freshener (a very good company is glade and their fresheners perfectly convey various real places like pine forests and smells). So you don't have to give it up. An effective option would be to change your perfume. It has a very good effect on the psyche and practically changes your image dramatically.

Of course, the smells must be the ones that you like. If you choose something unpleasant, then you will only get worse.

11. More communication. When you think about what to do if you are lonely, then turn to the most obvious option, namely, to communicate with other people. If you have problems with dating, then try to sign up for some courses where you will not be able to remain silent and sit on the sidelines. Language courses with native speakers work best. In this case, whether you like it or not, you will have to communicate with others. And if at first it will be uncomfortable for you, then later you will cope, and you will also find friends for yourself. So you kill two birds with one stone, learn a new language, and stop being lonely. If languages ​​are not your thing, then feel free to go dancing. Even though you don't talk much during dancing, it's much easier to meet people there than sitting at home, isn't it?

12. When you meet someone on the course, the answer to the question: what to do if you are still single, will be the invitation of guests. Before that, you need to cook something cool and tasty, after which you can invite your new friends to a house party. If you are embarrassed to do this, then call at least your closest friend or neighbor. So you can get closer, and despite the fact that this is not your soulmate, you will no longer be lonely, and this is a big breakthrough forward.

If you want to understand how lonely you are and test yourself, then try to look at expressions that are close to you.

The first group of expressions

  • I feel very good when I am alone. Nobody gets me.
  • ​​
  • When I am alone, no one hangs over me, and I can create calmly and freely.
  • When I am alone, I can develop without distraction.
  • I am calm and generally satisfied with my life.
  • I have a daily routine, and I can easily follow it.
  • I only cook for myself, and I don't have to worry about creating culinary masterpieces for the whole family.
  • When I want to go in for sports, I can do it at any time without fear of sidelong glances from my household.
  • My phone doesn't ring all the time and I feel good when no one bothers me with calls.
  • I have a family of me.

The second group of expressions

  • I suffer from the fact that I have no one to talk to.
  • I'm ugly.
  • Nobody needs me.
  • I'm boring and not interested in being alone.
  • Nobody is interested in me at all.
  • There is definitely something wrong with me.
  • Why was I born into this world.
  • Nobody thinks about me.

If your opinion about loneliness and about your life is more similar to the expressions from the first group, then you are most likely all right, and you should not worry about what to do if you are lonely. This is not your problem. Because on the whole you live more or less harmoniously with yourself.

If expressions from the second group are closer to you, then you are unlikely to love yourself, appreciate yourself, and most likely, you are constantly trying to please someone, but unsuccessfully and eventually withdraw into yourself. What to do in this case? Of course, do not whine, do not suffer, but pull yourself together and plow over yourself and over this problem. And what other answer did you expect to the question: “What to do if you are lonely?”

How to deal with feelings of loneliness?

If you look around and see only happy couples who annoy you, but at the same time you envy them, then it's time to do something about your feeling of loneliness. All you need to understand is that loneliness should be enjoyed.

We must start with the fact that in no case should you form an opinion about yourself based on whether you have a soulmate or not. Understand that you are valuable in your own right, whether you have a beautiful girl or not. Yes, perhaps it will be difficult for you, because for some reason in the modern world, those who have created a family, given birth to children, and so on are considered successful. But really no one can tell you how to live. And if you achieve that your loneliness will stop tormenting you, then everything will be in order, because you will be happy.

If you avoid your loneliness and suffer about it, then it will frighten you more and more.

Be sure to find something for yourself that you will do when you are alone. If you still do not have a hobby, then it's time to start looking for it. In all interviews of successful people, the moment stands out that they are passionate about their work. If you have something that warms your heart and motivates you to work, then you will not feel lonely, because you will be constantly busy. Moreover, he is not busy with hateful work, but precisely with what helps you feel alive.

Learn to appreciate what you already have at the moment. Often people ask the question: “What to do if you are single”, but they don’t even notice that they have parents, have pets and, in general, they live quite well. Yes, happiness is not in money, but without them it will be much worse for a person to exist. Yes, you should still pay attention to your relatives. Perhaps they also feel lonely because you do not want to communicate with them.

Be grateful. This is very important, and helps you make new acquaintances, as well as earn the love of others.

Learn to give. Of course, many people only want to receive, and this desire is understandable, but the fact is that in our consumer society everyone wants to receive, but only a small part wants to give. If you start helping other people, you will not only get rid of loneliness, but you will also feel happier than you were before.

Learn to love yourself. Yes, today we have a question like this: “what to do if you are lonely?” and you might think that self-love has nothing to do with it. But in fact, this is very important, and without self-love, you will not be able to get rid of loneliness.

The fact is that if you are generally unhappy, then relationships with others will not help you. First you must learn to find harmony with yourself, and then only you can find someone else for yourself. Besides, relationships are not the most important thing in life. The most important thing is that you make your life interesting, and then others will want to get to know you and become closer to you.

Try to look at the situation differently: yes, you are alone. But is it really that bad? Think about what could be worse than being alone. (spoiler: a lot). For example, many people are simply very seriously ill, and they may also have serious problems with money or someone close to them has died. This is much worse than what you are now sitting and moaning, asking everyone around: "What if I'm so alone?"

Make an appointment with a psychotherapist. A good specialist will help you overcome your loneliness and explain to yourself that this is not so important. Perhaps there are reasons for your loneliness, and they are related to the fact that you are used to winding yourself up. Perhaps you think that others will never accept and understand you, and therefore you do not try to get to know anyone. With a psychologist, you can discuss this and sort out the details of your pens.

Seek fellowship yourself. Who will find you in your lonely lair? Who knows you're sitting there alone and suffering? No one. So you need to show that you need this fellowship.

To do this, go outside as often as possible and meet people. Yes, perhaps dating in real life for you is something beyond your capabilities. Then try to at least communicate on the Internet, getting acquainted on various forums and dating sites. To be interesting, you need to show interest in the people around you. After all, everyone loves to talk about themselves. Learn to pay attention and remember details. Then you will be a much more desirable companion.

Try to be creative. In search of an answer to the question: “What to do if you are lonely?”, Everything that will allow you to express yourself will help you. It can be painting, singing, creativity like clay modeling or woodcarving. In general, it can be anything that can captivate you for a long time and make you forget about your loneliness. In addition, creativity and especially its result brings a sense of satisfaction, which is very important in the fight against loneliness.

You need to explain to yourself that loneliness is not forever. In any case, you cannot live your whole life without communicating with anyone at all. If you are alone now, it does not mean that you need to suffer. Try to use this time to your advantage. Perhaps later you will miss the time when you sat alone and could enjoy the fact that no one distracted you from your thoughts and you could do whatever you wanted.

Learn to rekindle hope in yourself, time after time, even if you are wildly tired of this feeling of abandonment. After all, tomorrow or very soon you can meet a person who will change your loneliness forever.

If you act on these tips, then you will have more chances to calm down and radically change your life, and maybe even meet your love. In any case, water does not flow under a lying stone, and you should remember this.