Unable to achieve goals?

Tired of life's disappointments, difficulties and problems? Goals do not get closer, but look unattainable? What to do when you can’t achieve your goals, or how to find happiness?

Autumn is a time of change. Fresh, ringing air makes thoughts tenacious. Clear weather is conducive to reflection: what worked and what didn’t work, what things lie ahead. Is it possible to learn to set goals in a new way - so that there are no disappointments?

Absolutely. Just turn everything upside down. Start not with a list of tasks, but with a Wish Map. The idea of ​​Daniella Laporte, author of Live with Feeling, has helped thousands of people. It's not a time management or calendaring system. A wish card is what helps to re-ignite the inner light, keep calm in difficult periods of life and finally come to a dream.

Disable autopilot mode

Many of us go to the goal on autopilot: “Live by the ocean and enjoy the beautiful view from the window every day”, “Get an MBA”, “ Win a marathon”, “Travel the whole world”, “Launch your own clothing line”. Cool. All goals are wonderful as a selection. But you can achieve anything, you just need to know why.

Once you are aware of exactly what you want to feel, you will find yourself striving for something completely different. Moreover, from now on you will achieve them in completely different ways.

Because if you're going to business college just because your daddy will pat you on the shoulder at prom and make you feel respectable, or because you're planning to buy a house with oak flooring, it'll give you a sense of calm and stability, then you may be looking for happiness for the wrong purposes.

What you are really aiming for is not a specific goal, but certain feelings, in the hope that they will arise when you achieve it.

Goals in reverse

Instead of discussing external goals—buy furniture, put the baby in the pool, lose weight, pay off loans, build a garden—think about how you want to feel themselves in different areas of life. Draw a piece of paper into columns - home, love, money, work, self-development, etc. - and in each write down a few positive words: be joyful, inspired, in harmony with yourself, calm, in the flow, bright like a rock star!

Your list of goals will become more beautiful and will be perceived not as another to-do list, but rather as an invitation to something amazing and exciting.

The next step is to ask yourself, “What can I do to make myself feel this way?” This simple question will force you to change your goals and solve everyday problems. Instead of the item “Meet friends once a month”, the item “Arrange a tasting of national cuisines” will appear - because you love to cook, you like to feel proud and show your talent to your friends.

Once you begin to focus on the desired emotions, you will realize that you are on to something important. And most importantly, much more often than before, you will be in the emotional state that you always wanted.

A day defines life

The most practical reason to try a new way of setting goals is that you can change yourself and your life every day. Except you don't have to quit your job or call the person who betrayed you ten years ago. Enough nonsense.

Small conscious actions, inspired by true desires, create a life that gives you joy even in the rainiest weather.

Daniella Laporte writes: “I remember one particularly lousy day feeling anything but calm and flow. The account is empty, the rent has to be paid, the phone is silent, and there is not a single new project on the horizon. What can cheer me up? I thought. What will I do when I earn money? I will buy a sofa upholstered in Italian linen! And then I went to the most snobbish furniture store in the most fashionable neighborhood... and warmed my ass on that very couch. I sat on it for an eternity. “This is what it means to live in the flow,” I thought. And I felt a little better."

To feel the way you want to feel more often, do tiny, very simple, easy-to-implement actions every day that will help you get into the desired state.

Where desire meets action

Meaningful intentions and goals take time. And one year flies by very quickly, so you have to keep FOCUS all the time. Putting some intentions on the back burner is a little sad, but unnecessary desires spray attention.

Plans are useless, but planning is priceless. Write a new schedule for your life, with the feelings and emotions you aspire to.

If you only pursue a few great ideas, their dynamics and your satisfaction will outweigh any benefits of working on a bunch of goals at the same time, but half-heartedly. So designate three or four things for yourself this year that you will do.

And then make plans for the month and week so that your daily actions will allow you to get closer to your goals for the year.

How to learn to see the positive

You can choose a positive outlook on life just as easily as a negative one. When you begin to work with feelings, you will find that you are able to take responsibility for your reactions to the people and circumstances around you. Here is a list of things that block positive perception:

• Excessive competitive spirit.

• Ambivalence of feelings or indifference. By being in touch with your true self, you can always make an informed choice.

• Scarcity mentality. You are always missing something: money, customers, market space, recognition, opportunities.

• Comparing yourself to others. Cultivates a sense of insignificance or superiority.

• Envy. As soon as it starts to stop you from wishing the other person well.

• Egocentrism. If, in order to satisfy your needs, you consider it possible to inconvenience others.

• Anger. Sometimes it can be helpful, empowering and bring you back to a positive state as a result. But more often than not, anger is a decent piece of crap.

• Anxiety. Trust me, it's completely useless.

It is not necessary to eliminate or avoid all dark, negative and unpleasant feelings. Just remove from your life what sucks your spiritual strength.

What will you choose?

In life you always have a choice. Whatever it concerns: the choice of closets, who you spend your time with, what gifts you give, what you believe in and what thoughts you focus on. Chaos is your choice. Anger is your choice. Resentment is also a choice. As well as the breadth of the soul, flexibility, compassion, tenderness, fortitude...

A clear knowledge of how you want to feel is the most useful form of confidence for you. Deliberately creating these feelings is the most creative thing you can do with your life.

A conscious choice is a “holistic choice” made by the mind, body and soul when the decisions made take into account the personal environment: how much time you have, how you feel when you play sports or help a friend, what kind of person you are. One solution, one step. Making an informed choice means being aware that every decision brings you closer or further away from your dreams.

The Wish Map helps you make choices more often and more consciously: when thinking about your goals for the year, discussing vacations, deciding how to react and what you want to change, going shopping and inviting guests, asking for something and waking up in the morning.

Do you want to learn how to make the right choice, focusing on your feelings, live "here and now" and feel alive? The time has come.

Based on the materials of the book "How to set goals for which the soul lies" by Daniella Laporte, Mann, Ivanov and Ferber Publishing House