Do women claim that a man's appearance doesn't matter much? But is it really so. How to improve your chances when dealing with the fair sex?
How do you look? Women argue that the appearance of a man does not matter much. But can a fat wallet make up for a fat belly? Can a strong personality compensate for weak muscles? Can huge creativity compensate for sparse hair?
Let's put it this way: you are lucky that for women personality is more important than appearance. The second is amenable to change, but when a person is too busy with the first, mother nature does not like it at all. And yet, in the eyes of a woman, appearance plays a greater role than in the eyes of a man. Do you think one contradicts the other? Nothing like this. I explain.
Objectively, higher requirements for appearance are made by men. Many people prefer long-legged girls with high breasts and a thin waist. But if you line up a hundred women and ask how many are attracted to you, you will probably decide that about half of them would not be kicked out of their bed.
Now let's line up a hundred men and let the ladies choose. Result? Even though most of the men in the line will be quite attractive "studs", only a few of them will make a woman's heart beat faster. Why? Because a woman knows exactly what she is looking for. If she dreams of a man with character, your face should reveal a strong character - only in this case she will immediately feel physical attraction. If she appreciates a sense of humor, you should get a couple of laugh lines. If she's an intellect freak, let your bald dome shine brighter.
What about generalizations? Yes please. Here is a quote from the British Journal of Social Clinical Psychology, which found what most women like about a man:
Women are attracted to men whose appearance reveals their elevated feelings; to those who have external signs of sexual maturity and the desire for dominance; to those who appear sociable and approachable and have signs of high social status.
Individuals who display the optimal combination of neotenous (boyish) features (large eyes), mature male features (protruding cheekbones and a large chin) and a broad, expressive smile, as well as dressed as high-status individuals, are considered to be more attractive than other men. Now let's translate this into human language. It says here that women like kind and caring-looking men with expressive features. However, women also like a little bit of childishness that allows them to be motherly to a man. All this is another focus of mother nature.
Guys with a mane of shiny hair may find the following question meaningless. However, many of your less hairy brothers want to know how women feel about their bald or balding heads.
If you are one of the growing number of men in our aging population who secretly look at the backs of their heads in the mirror, counting how many more hairs they have had to say "happy landing" over the past week, and wondering if it's time to hurry up and buy some other "Chinese formula" - then read on. You will like the answer of scientists. (Though if you're after a job instead of a lady, you might be disappointed.)
In a study titled "Impression of a Man Based on Baldness" (or, more simply, "What People Think about bald?”), the researchers used a computer simulation program and with its help depicted a thick head of hair on the head of a completely bald thirty-year-old man. Then they showed his picture to anyone and everyone who just agreed to take a look and asked them a few questions.
The overall result was that the guy with thick hair was recognized as "significantly stronger, more dynamic and masculine" than his bald counterpart. In addition, the owner of the hair looked younger. But then there is good news for sexually aroused baldheads, so I will quote from the report: "The assessment of the attractiveness of the men in both photographs is no different," according to the women interviewed.
And finally, one more useful word for the wise. What has fallen is gone. It is not necessary, I repeat, it is not necessary to save a few long hairs in order to comb them across the bald spot. The radiance of your skull still cannot be hidden, and besides, you will have to live in constant fear of windy days.
Wigs are even worse. A woman may like to run your hair through her fingers, but she doesn't want it in her hands.
"What about artificial hair implants?" - you ask. No woman likes to stroke her head, which feels like rough sandpaper to the touch.
Do women rate my hair? Yes, you are joking!
Gentlemen, I'm not joking at all. In her meticulousness, the woman misses nothing. She scrutinizes you from head to toe, paying as much attention to detail as a Broadway producer casting for a million-dollar show. Every detail, from your hair to the shine of your shoes, becomes a kind of sexual cue for her, which she uses to judge whether she has the desire to invest in you for the evening. Of course, there is no “right” or “wrong” hairstyle, but since the blue cards from my workshop kept asking questions about hairstyles, we did a survey. Here is what the women in one of the groups said about the different hairstyles.
Carefully cut hair, blow-dried and varnished. Perhaps in the morning you look in the mirror and say: “This is part of my image of a strong person,” but women do not like this hairstyle. If a man's head is too well-groomed, the woman thinks: "A braggart with an exorbitantly inflated conceit."
Dyed hair. Fine, if only they are painted well and the woman did not notice the paint.
Long hair: Many men ask me, “What about long hair?” They think that thanks to such a hairstyle they look like creative and artistic people. It also happens. However, unless you're an artist, musician, or big-name rock star, the woman is likely to think you're underpaid.
There was a guy who cut his hair short in front and wore a ponytail at the back of his head. He asked what women had to say about his hairstyle and remarked that he thought he could please everyone because the ponytail was good for fun and the conservative hairstyle for work. But the women did not buy it and were ruthless. They said the style signifies that the man is clearly "not from the elite" and "thinks too much about how to please his long-haired boyfriends."
Do you feel the main idea? Women do not like any of the styles that suggest insecurity or, conversely, high self-esteem.
The best, most loved by women hairstyle, which is preferred by 99 women out of 100, is well-cut, neat, clean hair without styling, without dye and without varnish. This means: “I am not cheap, I am not overly vain, and I do not care too much about what members of any social group think of me. I have achieved success and take care of my appearance.”
What about an athletic physique? What about growth?
Pull out a centimeter, because now we will hit low blow. The average physique is still held in high esteem, but the girls like it if a man has more above the waist than below. According to research, women prefer V-shaped figures to pear-shaped ones. But it is also a matter of social position. Women born in a cheap paper shirt prefer muscular men. Conversely, those in high-paying jobs find these heavyweight athletes downright terrifying. They prefer tight and slender figures.
Height? Let's look at the statistics. Virtually every president who has been the most popular (does not mean elected today) in the United States since 1900 has been taller than his rival. A Wall Street Journal states that taller college graduates (1.85m and above) are paid about 12.4 percent more from the outset than those who are less than 1.80m tall. Thus, we can conclude, that when it comes to love and sex, women prefer tall men.
And now let's please those who do not reach the mark of 1.80 m. It is obvious that in a horizontal position a tall man does not have any advantages. Women of different heights - short, medium height and tall - arranged the men according to their level of sexual attractiveness. Men of average height won.
So if you're not a V-shaped figure with a slight hint of athleticism, then all is lost? Not at all. If you want a few more women to whisper, "He's so handsome" as you approach, you need to learn to "move well." If you're looking to boost your looks ratings, check out the pictures of men in ads for Calvin Klein clothes or Armani jackets. Well, you know, that “I can see you through your dress” look and the slightest unshaven certifying the masculinity of its owner. And the coolest part is the way they stand—the weight is on one foot, two fingers are holding the jacket casually slung over their shoulder, and their head is tilted back just at the right angle. In the modeling business, this is called the ability to move well. You are quite capable of doing the same.
No need to wander the streets, every second taking spectacular poses, otherwise you will be considered a poseur. Just pay attention to how you move. Movements must be courageous, full of strength. (Learn to walk beautifully.) Movement should be full of gallantry. (While in a restaurant, get up when she returns from the toilet and approaches the table.) The movements should be protective. (Crossing the street, offer the lady a hand.) Movements must be filled with love. (Tighten her collar or loosen her hair after you help her put on her raincoat.) Movement must be courageous!
Does it really matter what I wear?
In short: YES! You will be very surprised when you find out what a woman notes in your appearance. When you are dressed in expensive or well-fitting clothes, she subconsciously perceives this as proof of your ability to provide future offspring. Do not blame the girl: she only does what her mother (nature) tells her to do. Even the waitress from the local coffee shop, who has never been outside the city, after which her diner is named, somehow supernaturally smells how much clothes cost. Genes, no less!
Before going through a lot of research in search of clothing data, I fell into the sin of thinking. As a woman, I love the whimsical inventions of designers and will shop around until I find an elegant outfit that will make my boyfriend swoon. What a waste of money! Everything is as simple as an orange. Since in the mind a man will still undress a woman, why spend hard-earned money on clothes with some unimaginable signature on the label? Why the hell, you ask?
The fact that you don't care what exactly your body is covered with does not mean at all that the lady treats it in the same way. Unlike you, she doesn't picture naked men in her mind. She is not going to mentally undress you and imagine your stone muscles and delicious, board-hard belly. She's interested in your clothes!
Proof of this piquant fact was a study conducted at the University of Syracuse. Men and women were shown photographs of people of the opposite sex . The women in the photographs were very different - from luxurious cats to gray mice. But there was one trick. Some of the mice were exquisitely dressed, and some of the cats were dressed in gaudy rags. Gotta hand it to you guys. You have never been able to get through. You peered behind expensive clothes and unmistakably distinguished mice in cat outfits from cats in mouse skins.
But women were not so insightful. (Or, conversely, very perceptive? Depends on what they were looking for.) The photographs were of a variety of men, from tough Kevin Costner-style to men with whom even a photographer would be afraid to be alone in a dark room. They were dressed in exactly the same way: some in the creations of leading fashion designers, and some in cheap rags from the next sale.
While viewing the photographs, the women were asked six questions, beginning with "Which one would you marry?" or “Who would you agree to go on a date with?” and ending with the surprising (given that the research was conducted by a serious university) - "Who would you choose for one night?".
It turned out that the clothes of a man meant a lot to a woman. The better dressed he was, the higher marks he got in all six categories, including the one-night stand category.
Alas! Sexual evolution is more than one million years old, and men and women still understand romance differently. Gentlemen, even if you're out hunting just to find yourself a one-night stand, don't be like dressing up an unmade bed. Even if you have a great ass and think you look fabulous in jeans that look like they've been spray-painted, you'd better wear custom-made trousers from Brooks Brothers to increase your chances at a nightclub. This does not mean that you should not look casual. But everyday chic is better than everyday zilch. Here are a couple of tips on what women like. The mercury column has skyrocketed and you want to wear a short sleeve shirt? Do not do this. These shirts make you look much less sexy. Better put on a shirt with long sleeves and roll them up.
Socks? In the most casual outfit, the tone and color of the socks should be in harmony with your trousers. When seated, never display that hideous, pale, hairy streak between the toe and the hem of your trousers. Walk without socks at all? Some guys think it's cool, but it actually only makes the bad smell worse. Belt? It should match the boots, both in color and overall appearance (matte or shiny).
Shoes? Without knowing it, women are born with X-ray vision, which allows them to spot a pair of chic expensive shoes right from the door in the center of a crowded dance hall.
One of my actress friends named Christiana purposefully and shamelessly climbed up the social ladder. Once she arranged for us an invitation to a luxurious dinner, where there were only six men and six women.
Returning home on the subway (we had no money for a taxi), in the roar of the train, Christina said:
— Clifford invited me to the theater. He wants to take me to The Fantastiks. I said that I had not watched yet, but I had heard a lot about this musical. - Clifford - who is this? I asked.- The one tall in Bruno Magli. - In what, in what? “In boots,” she called out, “in Bruno Magli boots.” Considering that we sat at the table for most of the evening and could not see the legs of a neighbor, I was surprised how she managed to notice what Clifford was wearing. - How can you not notice? she asked, irritated by my poor perception. “Well, well, what were the others wearing?” I pointed out. Christina began to read out the list of shoes of the men present: - Kyle was wearing Ferregamo low shoes, Andre was wearing Wallabees, and Bill was wearing Charles Jordan moccasins. What was John wearing? I asked. "Oh, the Kilties," she replied as contemptuously as if they were landing boots. She won.
Gentlemen, I don't mean to imply that all women are as picky about your shoes as Christiana is, but frayed combat boots will make a much worse impression on her than on your buddies, who won't pay any attention to your shoes at all, unless you don't wear high heels.
Jacket? First of all - expensive, beautiful soft fabric. Women love with their hands, remember? And by all means make sure that the clothes fit you nicely if you want the same from a woman.
The best thing you can do is take a woman with you when you go shopping: your sister or ex-girlfriend (with whom you have a good relationship) is fine. Better yet - sit down or you'll fall over - hire an image consultant to do what they call "wardrobe analysis" for you. Do you think that image consultants are only for the "stars" and the inhabitants of "Quiet Street"? Think again. Men need them, at least smart ones.
Call out and you're bound to find a young and talented image consultant with a double-digit fee. I've got it.
I met Julia when she worked at the SoHo art gallery. In the evenings, she moonlights as an image consultant. Of course, the idea of contacting a consultant was something unheard of for me, however, as it turned out, it was one of the smartest things I've ever done.
Then I tortured my friend Phil a little. He was well versed in hidden sexual signals and therefore enjoyed success with women - up to a certain limit. He did not understand why sometimes women, especially of the upper class, gave him a turn. He could not understand that he owed such an attitude to himself to his clothes.
“Try it, you will like it,” I told him. I dialed Julia's phone and dragged a kicking and screaming Phil to the phone. While the long beeps went on, he covered his mouth with his hand, refusing to speak. "I'll never cook for you again!" I threatened. It didn't work. “Never again will I introduce you to any woman!” I added.- Uh... Julia? Hello, he said. “I'm a friend of Lail's, and…” Julia arrived the next evening and did a complete wardrobe analysis for Phil. The evening turned into a continuous cacophony of several phrases: - Leave it. - Throw it away. - Leave it. "God, don't ever wear this!" - Oh, this is great! - And it suits you very well. - Forget about it! - This one fits right in. - It looks great with this. “That would look great with those trousers.” When all this was over and Julia left, Phil collapsed on the couch littered with clothes. I calculated how much money he had saved, and I told him: “For the few tens of dollars that you paid Julia, you will forever be spared from buying new clothes - just take care of the ones you already have.” He groaned. I could tell him that some part of his mind made him go back decades when his mother told him, “Phil, change your shirt. You look like a chimney sweep!" I asked him if he liked the evening. He answered: “Yes, how would I live on, not knowing that gray and black suit me?” Is brown and beige just a nightmare? Even my best friends would never admit to me that red for casual wear is great, and girls in blue will only take me for a corpse! “Stop talking nonsense, Phil. You know it did you good. I took his growl as a sure sign of happiness. At least I'm sure that's what the Salvation Army felt when he brought them three bags of clothes that Julia said, "Forget it!"
I could go on forever. However, I will take pity on you and say simply: make sure that your "package" - from the first sight to the smell - is carefully calibrated to attract exactly the girls you need. And, unless you are an expert in fashion, as well as in human nature and what others find appropriate and attractive, leave this task to a professional.
Do you still persist and do everything yourself? Well, I can threaten you exactly the same as I threatened Phil. At the very least, check out the best book I've come across on the subject. It's called "The Power of Everyday" by Sherri Maco Neve. And, if you're not one of those bums who stubbornly wears a baseball cap backwards and jeans patched at the knees, this book will serve you well.
But there is one turning point in your life when - I'm sure! - you have to make a great choice: boxer shorts or swimming trunks? Skinny bottoms or regular ones? Plain boxers or bright kaleidoscopic patterns of glow-in-the-dark playboy bunnies?
Despite the millions of years of sexual evolution, men and women still experience romance differently. Even if you went hunting for a girl for just one night, do not be like an unmade bed attire. Dress like you're interviewing for her husband.
According to the results of the official study of the participants in Dr. Lowndes' seminar, I can say that women prefer to see high-quality (clean!) swimming trunks on a man. But not too narrow. Unless you're Brad Pitt, he can. However, I digress.
Ah yes, the last clue. Do not pour perfume on intimate places before the first date. A fragrance from this region will clearly demonstrate that you are expecting exposure too soon, which is more appropriate in the southern regions of the country.
Beware! Your house is full of traps!
Sooner or later, a lady will want to see one of the most significant symbols of your sexuality. (No, not the one you're thinking of.) I mean your house. For her, this is not just a visit to your bed, but a familiarization trip. Nothing escapes her eagle eye. If she finds out that something is wrong, it could be the end of your relationship.
You hurriedly tidy up, tossing all your dirty shirts into the bottom of your closet, throwing your grubby socks under the bed, and diligently figuring out how the vacuum cleaner your mom gave you for your birthday two years ago works.
Your lady arrives, and while you go to the kitchen for two glasses of wine, lemonade or beer for both of you, she prowls the house, collecting information about your identity, like a German shepherd trained to search for drugs in airport.
At some point, she will definitely want to use the bathroom. You can be sure a lady will look into your first aid kit. What will she find there? Ten packs of condoms will fall out? Will there be a sedative? Will the lipstick and nail polish of your other girlfriend show up? I advise you to choose absolutely everything from your first aid kit, chest of drawers and from under the bed, and shove this good into the bottom of the closet. If the lady is going to stay at your house alone for a while, bury everything in the backyard.
Once I had to go through my lover's bedroom to get to the only bathroom in the house. He just gave me a heartfelt speech about how he had not entered into intimate relationships with women for more than two years. I glanced at the table by his bed and found a pair of false eyelashes taped to the side. (They must have been removed in the dark and glued on the day before yesterday, because the glue wouldn't last long.)
Absolutely everything will tell about your nature - even what kind of toilet paper hangs in your bathroom. Which one do you use - the more expensive soft velvety variety or the cheapest one that scratches the body like a newspaper?
Author: Leil Lowndes