Carter Lowe Creator, entrepreneur, and self-care advocate
Reading time: 10 min

Tips for men

Advice from a girl on how best to treat the fair sex. How to start and continue acquaintance with girls, as well as how to behave with them? Some great tips to make your life, relationships, and sex easier.

Why don't I try to write a little guide for them on how to start and continue dating girls, as well as how to behave with them sometimes. In addition, I have long wanted to touch on the topic of male virginity and try to convey to the strong half of humanity that this is not a vice and not a nightmare, you shouldn’t be ashamed of it and you definitely shouldn’t kill yourself with complexes because of inexperience in bed. So let's start with an introduction.

I know it's scary to get acquainted on the street, but if you do "preparatory work" before that, then everything is possible. Stumbling eyes on the girl you like, hold your eyes on her and smile slightly or wink (this is for the especially daring) when she looks at you in response. Do not be alarmed if she rolls her eyes in horror or abruptly looks away/turns away. She simply did not expect this and from this surprise she “closed”. In other words, I was scared too. No panic. After a couple of seconds, she will move away and look at you again (oh this female curiosity) - be firm, continue to smile courageously. 80% for the fact that if she is free and you are at least a little prettier than a Morlock, then she will smile back at you. Profit, you are great, you can come and take the phone.

However, there are people who simply physically cannot force themselves to smile at an unknown girl, and even more so to approach her later. Many are afraid that a girl may turn out to be stupid or boring, and you will be deceived, pecking at first only on appearance. I do not find anything shameful in this - these are sound fears that have a place to be. Then a banal way: look for a girl "VK" or on a dating site. I would still advise "VK" - there is less risk of running into you-know-who. There are two methods: search through people search and through interest groups. In the search or in the group, find the free girls you are interested in, view the page, and, if everything suits you, add yourself as a friend by writing something like: “Wow, this is the first time I see a girl reading Kafka. What other writers do you like? And who do you recommend? Blablabla…”, although this is already at your discretion, sometimes “hello” and an unobtrusive compliment will go, and... whatever. Most importantly, keep it up. But don't go overboard with the "Are your parents bakers by any chance?" pick-up prowess. We may not appreciate it.

As for the meeting: it’s better to invite a girl for a first date either to the cinema / theater (you can see her, admire her, be around her, but there will be no awkwardness as such, because it’s difficult to conduct a dialogue there), or just take a walk / to an exhibition / to feed the ducks in the park (if a girl is interested in you, and not to eat at your expense, she will gladly agree). If she insists on a restaurant, but does not offer to pay for herself... Under your responsibility. But most likely you yourself understand that she only needs to devour.

Advice: don't give the girl you're just starting to talk to expensive gifts. The dishonest, "smelling the smell of blood", will be delighted, and will use you in the future. Decent people will either not be able to accept the present, or they will feel obligated (“he spent 3 thousand rubles on me, this is a lot, I cannot be a dynamo, I have to justify these expenses”). In general, do not encourage dishonesty and do not put good girls in a ticklish position when she puts herself "on the counter" and worries about it.

Another piece of advice: also don't hastily confess your love to a girl if you are not yet sure of her reciprocity. You shouldn’t do this for several reasons: firstly, it simply cools many girls (I achieved it, he gave up, now he’s mine) and they get bored (sad but true); secondly, a girl who is not ready for such a turn of events can send you off simply out of fear of responsibility - she liked you, yes, but by forcing events too much you scared her and she preferred to retreat; thirdly, the girl may feel guilty in front of you (he loves me so much, but I can’t answer the same for what kind of person I am) and this will also lead to sad consequences. And the worst option is that, again, they will shamelessly use you, feeling their impunity. Of course, sometimes it’s so difficult to contain your feelings, and you definitely want to tell her how much she means to you... But if you’ve known each other recently and she herself didn’t give you the same signals... It’s not worth it. Seriously. Better be patient. After all, it is much more pleasant to say “I love you” to hear a gentle “I love you too”, and not an embarrassed “uh, thanks, okay, it happens.”

In addition, many (but, of course, not all) girls are just the same hunters and conquerors as you are. Therefore, give them food for these same conquests. Of course, I'm not talking about rudely making her jealous. The bottom line is the simple understanding that no matter how much you like her, you should not give her all the cards in her hands - you and your life should come first, at least for the period of the beginning of your relationship. Then (God forbid) she will become your beloved, wife, mother of your children and in general the most important person in your life, but while you win her, let her win too - let your messages not always be the first, let her get bored and write herself. Believe me, if she is used to your nightly communication, she will be on pins and needles until she finds out what the matter is. And this, in fact, really inflames you - the whole evening you sit and think about him, although you had not previously suspected that he meant so much to you. Pushkin was right, even more right.

And now about what sometimes happens. If the eyes are covered with a veil of boundless love (many will understand what I mean), then I want to get as close as possible to the object of passion, to get to know him as best as possible. It's great if you start to get involved in the same things that she is, and in the meantime you devote her to the interests of your life, but the main thing here is not to get carried away. Many in the heat of love begin to naturally dig under the object of their passion - "I have to read everything she read, watch all her favorite films, understand her music, go with her to the musical she adores." This is, to put it mildly, intimidating. And roughly speaking, because of this, you look like maniacs who hang pictures of the object of adoration on the walls and steal her panties. If you do this, try to make sure that the girl never knows how much effort you put into making her interested. Let her think that you just understand her very well.

Now about the sad. If you feel that a girl friendzones you, you don’t need to have extra hopes, justify her, shield her in front of yourself or your friends. Be firm, put the question squarely, ask - will you be with me or not? Agreed - take it and run. Calves - you are her train on a siding, a person to whom she writes when she is bored, she does not need you, they use you. You should not entertain yourself with false hopes and hover in the clouds for a long time - the bitter truth is always sweeter than the sweet ignorance. Chop right away. Such girls are obsessed with attention and therefore it is likely that they will try to flatter or exhort you back into the bosom of the friend zone, entertaining false hopes. Do not flatter yourself, do not believe, do not succumb to this provocation. No girl is worth your dignity and no one can be more precious than your own pride. Dump her, get over it as best you can (alcohol, games, another lady), and put atentionhora out of your head forever. She doesn't deserve you.

Finally, and most importantly, I would like to say something about kissing and sex. And here's what I want to say: it's okay to be a virgin. Of course, I can understand how frightened and perhaps lonely or even (what the hell) how inadequate you feel about it. But there is one thing - the girl who likes you will not give a damn about it. For example, the same ability to kiss well, as I could see, does not depend much on practice - it is either there or not. Therefore, do not be afraid to do something wrong - a smart girl will “lead” you herself, and inconsistencies in rhythm and technique are the first thing for everyone, over time it goes away. So, kissing is bullshit. You may not even admit to the girl that this is your first time, because most likely she will not suspect anything.

Now about sex. Here I repeat again - being a virgin is normal. Normal at 18, at 20, at 25, and even if you are creeping up to 30 (because we all know that the older you are, the more difficult it is for you to reverse this situation). If you find a girl with whom you will also be the first, this will be the perfect solution to the problem, because you will learn everything together. If not, then it's still not terrible - a NORMAL girl will never laugh at it or humiliate you. It is unlikely that you will be able to pretend that you are experienced, because a girl who had at least one sexual partner before you met will probably understand everything. But understanding does not mean condemning. Many girls will be flattered by the fact that they will be your “first” (yes, not only men can like it), many will be interested in your potential, many will wake up with the excitement of showing you the highest class and teaching everything they know how to do. I repeat once again - a normal, adequate, understanding girl who likes you and with whom you have gone to bed IS NOT FEARED by your innocence, this will not be a problem for her at all. We girls understand your fears, so do not think that we are expecting something heavenly from you the first time. Most often, we are just pleased to give pleasure to our beloved men, regardless of their degree of experience, so there are no deities.

Author: AntiPonchik