Tips for girls

You do not have that irresistible beauty that Hollywood has attracted men to? Do you lead a secluded life, are you rarely in society? Do you have almost no familiar men, and those among whom your chosen one could be do not pay attention to you?

Life-savvy members of the fair sex know the sensitive spot of many men—their insatiable desire to feel important—and they play on that string. André Maurois in "Letters to a Stranger" gives advice to women on the application of this method:

"You do not have that irresistible beauty that Hollywood, alas, has attracted our men to? Do you lead a secluded life, are you rarely in society? In a word, you have almost no familiar men, and those among whom your chosen one could be do not pay attention to you?

... Put a ladder against the wall of your house, climb onto the roof and start installing a television antenna. That's enough. Immediately, all the men living around will rush to you, like hornets attracted by a pot of honey. Why? Because they love technology, they love to make something, because they all consider themselves skillful and skillful... and most importantly, because it gives them great pleasure to show their superiority to a woman.

Same game on the freeway. Stop, lift the hood of the car and lean over the candles with a confused look. Other hornets, hungry for praise, will in turn stop and offer you their invaluable services.

This form of behavior is essentially a slightly disguised manipulation in which a person is slowly but steadily pushed into the desired forms of behavior. It should be noted that women, as a rule, are more skilled in such games than men.

For example, in order to lure a man into the network of marriage, there are many ways. One of them, similar to the gradual immersion of a fly in sweet molasses, is described in the book by I. Volkova and V. Muzychenko “A Patchwork Quilt for a Lonely Woman” (“The Way to Success”, No. 4, 1995). Its use makes sense in relation to men who have a long relationship with a woman, but nevertheless are in no hurry to offer her a hand and heart, fearing to lose their freedom. Here is the sequence of actions that the authors of this book propose to apply to a woman.

To begin with, they advise to come up with and play out a situation in which a woman has nowhere to go (for example, she quarreled with her parents, was about to leave for a friend, but there were no tickets - and now she calls from the station and does not know that her to do). The task of the first stage is to get into the house of your man for a few days. At the same time, in no case should you show your desire to settle there forever, on the contrary, it must be emphasized that in a couple of days another girlfriend will appear in the city, with whom it will be possible to live.

While on the territory of a man, it is recommended to behave very carefully: do not take anything without his permission, do not answer the phone, do not scatter your belongings around the apartment, do not try to take possession of the keys to his apartment. At the same time, it is recommended to surround a man with attention, care and affection, cook delicious dinners (having previously asked permission to mess around in the kitchen!) And not let him do anything around the house.

After that, it is recommended to suddenly disappear. It is necessary to give the man time to rest, to taste freedom, to dirty the dishes and linen, and to eat all the stocks of homemade food in the refrigerator that the woman has prepared. At this stage, you can not remind yourself. If there is no call from the chosen one, you need to call yourself, but not in order to meet, but only to pick up your toothbrush, which should be specially “forgotten” on the last day. Having come “for a brush”, you should, without asking permission, put things in order in the apartment, again “forget” some thing and leave for 7-10 days.

Female gestures of attracting attention,

True, psychologists warn against such a “technological” approach to marital relations, rightly believing that relations between the sexes are primarily built on feelings, and not on reason and substitution of the former by the latter can be costly for both partners. Nevertheless, the authors of the above-mentioned book obviously believe that if the whole problem of the future marriage union comes down only to the timidity and indecision of a man, then it is not a sin to push him, albeit with the help of not entirely honest methods.

The most commonly used female weapon of deception and seduction is coquetry, which is manifested not so much in words as in posture and characteristic gestures. Thus, Allan Pease in his book "Sign Language" notes several characteristic female gestures used to attract the attention of men and arouse their sexual interest. First of all, these are “beautifying gestures”, which include touching hair and clothes, as well as a long intimate look, shaking hair and other gestures.

A stronger impression is made by specific female courtship signs, to which Allan Pease refers legs apart, swaying of the hips, a sideways glance, a slightly parted mouth, a sideways glance from behind a raised shoulder, and stroking an object of a cylindrical shape.

Eric Berne explicitly calls this behavior "deceptive", although other psychologists consider such a course of action quite adequate to the corresponding intentions. In their opinion, each person has the right to choose his own way of interacting with others, taking into account, first of all, the effectiveness of the method. Berne disapproves of such methods:

“Some women increase the impact of their appearance in a socially accepted way, while others resort to deception. One sits up defiantly, the other stands near the air conditioner, her legs spread so that her skirt rises slightly. Some people like to bend over to pick up something so their buttocks show off their roundness, or put their hands behind their heads. All these are things that well-bred ladies should not do, unfair forms of competition that can cause discontent and annoyance to other women. In general, it must be admitted that the strategy of thinking and acting in different sexes during courtship is sometimes diametrically opposed. Here are two statements on this subject, taken from La Bruyère's "Characters", in which, apparently, there is a certain amount of truth: also diligently plays out love, which he does not feel for her at all.

"Women lie easily about their feelings, and men even more easily tell the truth."

Based on materials from "The Art of Deception" Shcherbatykh Yuriy