Take off your masks. Girls and boys wear the mask of a cynic and a hypocrite.
We are all human. And we all enter into relationships with other people. Without this, there can be no normal full-fledged life. Yes, simply because no one wants to be alone. And everyone wants to love and be loved. All-all. Even those who say otherwise. It is in us by nature, it cannot be taken away from us. This note is dedicated to those who want to, but hinder themselves.
I wrote it quite a while ago. And I could also publish somewhere earlier. But somehow I didn't want to. Probably because he himself did not strongly believe what he wrote. And therefore, I had it in a simple draft. But recently I read it again. And I realized that what was written is to believe. I don’t know what suddenly dawned on me and prompted me to such thoughts, because I had read it before and nothing like this had happened. Maybe because I was not like who is written here? Or because it was? It's not clear…
So I would like to talk about… It will sound somehow pathetic and lofty, but I think you'll forgive me for that. I would like to talk about broken hearts. Like it or not, but this topic was relevant yesterday, relevant today, and will be relevant tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow.
Sooner or later, we all go through this. We fall in love and in an instant we seem to die. No, I'm not going to talk about what to do when you get dumped. I wrote about this earlier. Here we will talk about who we become after all this. And you know, most of the time we don't get better. We are metamorphosing into someone else, someone not ourselves. And it's hard to comprehend. Very hard. But you have to. You need to see yourself from the side and understand that this is wrong.
You meet, you fall in love, you spend a lot of time together, you are drawn to each other, you dream about the future, you gradually become one, but suddenly everything collapses and you are left with nothing. More precisely, with pain inside. The loss of a loved one is very painful. For all life, sooner or later, but all passed through it. Parting with the person you love is like the death of a loved one. There is a person nearby and suddenly he disappears. Everything. When you finally lose, you can not change anything. But at the same time, you try to return by any means, most of which are based on emotions. Emotions that are more negative than good. You know, you can't bring anyone back with negativity. And as a result, you have a broken heart...
And from this moment on, people close access to their hearts. It just so happens that because of this, finding love in modern society is more and more difficult. Many guys and girls are afraid of being rejected, deceived or abandoned, because they already had a bad experience. That is why they are afraid to open up to others. Many people begin to put on various masks and hide behind shields, so that no one gets close to their hearts. But at the same time, deep down, they want to fall in love again and be loved. Unless now they do not let anyone in. Sorry, but I will call such guys and girls spoiled. For a general notation. Do not mind? Then great.
Yes. We put on the mask of a cynic and a hypocrite. A cynic, because we begin to believe that there really is no love, and a hypocrite because we understand in our souls that there is love, but we speak in a completely different way. We stop being sincere. And not only with others. We stop being honest with ourselves. We try to convince ourselves that true love is simply unrealistic to find. But before that it was the same! Our world is created by our thoughts. Only the spoiled ones, having found a new partner, set themselves the premise that this person, most likely, will not be suitable. Doubt it beforehand. And they begin to check it to make sure. Test for strength, for seriousness. In general, do everything so that in an instant the partner gives up and fails. It doesn't even matter that he was sincere, that he tried to do the best, that he hoped that everything would be fine. This is especially true for girls who love to test a new guy for, I'm sorry, professional suitability.
The corrupted trust new partners less. And this manic craving to pull everything inappropriate out of a person spoils everything. Fine, as long as it's painless for both of you. So after all, it happens that an unsuspecting partner remains with nothing. More specifically, hearts. You know, it's like boxing. Have you watched boxing? One stands in defense, the second opens and suddenly finds himself knocked out. Why? The answer is obvious. This, by the way, is what happens to those who start dating a spoiled person, being uncorrupted or just open. When both are spoiled (closed), then this is usually a serious long fight in which it is not certain that someone will be knocked out. Rather, they will disperse in peace. Break the resistance of the corrupted, his defense, and you will be just a hero for him. You will get everything from him.
For example, a girl had her heart broken. What happens? She begins to put on a mask and a shield. For guard. She hides her heart from all the guys so that no one can hurt her, and begins the search for her prince. That is, only the chosen MacLeod can reach the goal. But for this, she creates certain criteria for a guy who can be trusted with her heart. So that not everyone can use it. To prevent a commoner from encroaching on the heart of a princess. To only a real knight.
Finds the first challenger. Starts checking it out. Lures him closer and, realizing that he is not the one, throws him, sometimes making a man in a mask (a cynic and a hypocrite). Moves to the second, third, fourth, etc. to infinity. And with each failure, she is more and more convinced that all the guys are goats, that there are no normal ones. Everything is thrown to the opposite sex. But in fact, the problem is that it is closed to all these people and the requirements for the prince are prohibitive. A guy's love won't break through her shield of cynicism and hypocrisy. That is why many opportunities can be missed, many sincere people who simply did not know about the existence of an invisible shield and stupidly beat their heads against it. But the law of meanness (or justice?) can play a cruel joke. The shield can break through the same cynic and hypocrite. And then her love torment will return again.
The most difficult thing is to understand what kind of person is next to you. If it is spoiled, then a completely different approach is needed to it than to normal, open people. You must either try to break through the shield, or leave, leaving with your problems. Any of these options is possible only thanks to knowledge about a person. Forewarned is forearmed, right? But herein lies the problem. It is not always possible to find out whether a heart is broken or not, a person is open or vice versa. And to be able to distinguish between sincerity and lies is difficult. But probably.
A lot of letters are written. So let me summarize. Why and to whom did I write all this? To the fact that becoming cynics and hypocrites, we not only create our own kind and spoil the lives of others, but at the same time we ourselves move further and further away from happiness. Our failures are created by us. Our success too. Cynicism and hypocrisy are the path of losers. So maybe we won't close on twenty locks? Let's not. And to whom is it addressed? Yes to everyone. And those who break hearts, and those who have been broken, and those who have not been broken. You have to live to the fullest. Why hide behind masks???
“If we listened to our reason, we would never have a love relationship. We would never be friends. We would never go for it, because we would be cynical: “Something is wrong” or: “She will leave me” or: “I already got burned once, and therefore...” This is nonsense. So you can miss your whole life. Every time you have to jump off a cliff and grow wings on the way down.” Ray Bradbury.
Author: Remezkov Vitaly