On the Internet, you can find a million "secrets" on how to turn family life into a fairy tale, there are endless advice from grandparents on what to do in order to live together all your life, there are also courses, trainings, webinars, telling, how to achieve family happiness. However, despite the fact that everyone knows everything, the number of divorces is growing every year. So what's the problem? What do you think, are there really secrets that will make family life happy? After all, in reality, no one hides anything. Let's figure it out.
- the secrets and advice?
- Where does a happy family life go with time?
- What should one learn to do in order to try to maintain happiness and ease in family life?
- 1. Don't look at the perfect picture from the Internet
- 2. Work on yourself
- 3. Know how to compromise
- 4. Respect and trust
- 5. Be interested in the life of a partner
- 6. Quarrels happen to everyone
- 7. Love truly
- Myths about the conditions for a happy family life
Why shouldn't family happiness be built entirely on someone's secrets and advice?
Articles on the topics of achieving family well-being are useful. They help young couples learn the basics of a good family life. However, it would be a mistake to take everything described on the Internet as an absolute guarantee of happiness in a relationship. Despite the fact that all people are generally similar, each person has his own special outlook on life, there are problems, worries and worries. Therefore, a secret from the Internet will help someone, but it will only worsen the situation for someone.
In order to try to create and maintain healthy, happy relationships throughout life, you need to take a comprehensive approach: read articles on the psychology of family life, talk to people with extensive experience in family life, etc. But these actions are optional, because it is your choice: if you feel that your knowledge is not enough, that you need advice - study, ask, find answers to your questions. If you base yourself on the only path to a good relationship, things may not turn out the way you expected. Let's try to disassemble on specific examples for a better understanding.
Imagine that you have received all kinds of information about a happy marriage from books, newspapers, articles, etc. And now you apply this knowledge to your relationships. The Internet in the first line on your search will give out the basic rules for a happy life in marriage, the first of which will be: “Less tears! Try to cry less often in front of your spouse. "What-oh?" - I think many men and women will break out the question. A woman should always be in a good mood, and even if something happened in her life, she should hide her emotions so that the marriage is happy? You won't get far on such advice... Never forget about an individual approach! Maybe that girl is hypersensitive and it’s hard for her to control her tears, isn’t it better to help cope with emotions and support?
A separate category is advice from the elderly. Their generation is famous for its low divorce rate. But after all, if grandparents lived together all their lives, it does not mean that they lived in perfect harmony, hand in hand in a happy marriage. Grandmothers do not mention at the same time that often their husbands beat them, and they endured. One gets the impression that they spent their whole lives together, not because they loved, but because "everyone endured, and I will endure." Therefore, it is not always necessary to listen to the moralizing of the older generation. Be more attentive to the advice, when they directly relate to your personal happiness.
Where does a happy family life go with time?
At the beginning of family life, we are so in love that we unintentionally put on masks. We try to show only our good sides, because we want to please. It's like a game of "white and fluffy", where we strive to appear better than we really are.
The wife is never too lazy to wash the dishes, cook the first, second and third courses and clean up every day, and the husband only enjoys going shopping with his wife for three hours, discussing gossip about her girlfriends and all that. Only after all, someday, anyway, what we really are will be revealed, and then problems in family life will begin. Therefore, in order for a happy marriage not to run away from you anywhere, you need to make an effort, listen and hear each other, and try to support.
What do you need to learn to do in order to try to maintain happiness and ease in family life?
First you need to understand that good relationships will have to work. It won't always be easy, but knowing that you are investing in your continued happiness in family life will help.
1. Don't look up to the perfect picture from the Internet
Instagram is teeming with "perfect" family photos, with huge posts below about how happily they live. Only after some time (and a short one) betrayal, dirt, divorce creep out. And the picture of a happy life is destroyed with lightning speed. It becomes easier to live when you realize that we are shown only the good side (and not always the truthful one).
2. Work on yourself
Strong family relationships require effort. Work, first of all, should be done on yourself. When your partner notices that you are trying for the sake of the relationship, she will certainly also have such a desire. In this way, you will cultivate together for a common goal.
3. Know how to compromise
Many families break up simply because the couple cannot give in and compromise. It's really hard to accept someone's point of view if you're sure of your own. But for a happy relationship, such stubbornness will not lead to anything good.
4. Respect and trust
A family without trust will sink rapidly. Constant suspicions, phone checks, surveillance will drive both partners crazy. Such unhealthy behavior will only give rise to quarrels and misunderstandings. If you recognize yourself in the above sentence, return to the second paragraph. Your distrust is your lack of self-confidence. You should not blame your partner for somehow suspiciously smiling at his colleague, but yourself, because you will not show respect for yourself or your partner.
5. Be interested in your partner's life
Ordinary questions like: "How was your day?", "What's new at work" you will develop the habit of communicating.
6. Quarrels happen to everyone
Again, remember that ideal families do not exist. Quarrels help us hear each other better, pay attention to what is really important to us. Wrong will be the desire to avoid quarrels, right - their solution through dialogue.
7. Love truly
It will be easier if you try a little in the beginning.
Myths about the conditions of a happy family life
1. You must have common interests. No, it's a myth. A girl may like to spend evenings reading books, and you playing computer games. And there is nothing anomalous in this. Another question is that you can sometimes offer her to play games together or offer to watch a movie based on the book that the girl has read in order to discuss later.
2. The man is the earner, the woman is the keeper of the hearth. The world is moving forward, and many people with their stereotypical thinking still seem to be dragging themselves in the Stone Age. One has only to assume that you can go beyond the limits that limit your consciousness, and life will become easier. We must strive to listen to each other - if a man is comfortable in housekeeping, and a woman reaches new heights in her career, there is nothing wrong.
3. There can be no happy family without children. In the traditional sense, the main purpose of the family is the upbringing of children. There was a myth that there would be no happy marriage without children. But if spouses do not have a desire to raise children, can they not be happy?