Carter Lowe Creator, entrepreneur, and self-care advocate
Reading time: 18 min

Nobody likes me: why no one ever likes me

Now, many people often realize that they just don't like anyone, and therefore they can't build a relationship. Most likely, it seems to them, but we will start from what a person thinks about himself. After all, negative beliefs have a very strong influence on life and it is necessary to work with them. Let's think today why no one can like a person, and not only close people, but also just strangers. Consider what could be the reasons for this, what mistakes a person makes, and what to do with it all.

In fact, you should understand that your belief that "no one likes me" is not a fact, but only your idea, and it is not necessarily true. In addition, no one is obliged to like you, because you are not a banknote and not a beautiful princess. You are an ordinary guy, maybe a good one, maybe even smart. But it is hardly written on your face, and therefore it is not necessary to say with certainty that no one likes you.

Very many people are greatly hindered by this belief, and not only in building relationships with the opposite sex, but in general, it greatly interferes with life. After all, if you have low self-esteem, then it is unlikely that anyone will take you seriously, since you yourself treat yourself badly. We need to think about how to fix this.

Methods for correcting the negative belief “no one likes me”

First you need to decide and understand well that this is not the end of the world, and the fact that you have lived for so many years or months does not mean that you will live like this all your life. Correcting such things is not only possible, it is even desirable to do it as soon as possible. Plus, it's actually not as hard as you think. There are various methods you can use to improve the situation.

1. It’s worth saying right away that the most effective option would be to contact a psychologist who will help you work through your negative beliefs, and you will be able to realize that you need yourself and are able to build relationships with others. After you work through your problems, the situation will change dramatically, but it is quite difficult to do this, because you will need to fully trust the specialist and be as frank as possible. Perhaps this work will be accompanied by heartache, but in the end you will come to a result, get rid of your stupid belief “no one likes me” and, most likely, you will be happy.

2. There is one more method. It just requires a very strong desire to overcome this negative “no one likes me” belief, and also set aside at least an hour of time for work. You also need to turn on the alarm clock, which will work exactly in an hour. Don't forget about comfort, you need a quiet place where no one will disturb you during this time. It will be a kind of self-therapy, you have to sit down and think carefully about what your opinion and your problem called “No one likes me” means to you. Are there any additions to this statement, for example, "I'm stupid and therefore nobody likes me" or "I'm fat and therefore nobody likes me." Try to rephrase it somehow and understand what causes you the most pain.

Take a piece of paper and a pen and try to speak your statement in your mind with your eyes closed for 60 minutes. The fact is that it will help to remove such a statement from your consciousness. Why does it work like this? The fact is that everything monotonous strains the brain very much and it tries to deprive it of meaning and ignore it to the maximum. When you do this, most likely you will notice that at some point you do not want to continue. But you have to repeat and repeat again.

Then you will feel various feelings, and this will help you to survive all the negativity that you put into the statement “nobody likes me”. Most likely, you will get rid, you can even say you will be freed from all negativity. This can be compared to a session with a psychotherapist, when your emotions very often change drastically. And you can cry, then laugh, and so on.

In addition, not only the emotions will react, the body will also somehow manifest itself. Don't be afraid and be ready for it.

It is possible, by the way, that you will not need a leaf with a pen. But just during such practice, people often realize that there are other beliefs that live in them, and they will need to write them down on a sheet and continue practicing with them later.

Perhaps after you finish your practice, you will have a whole list of different statements. Of course, negative ones. Leave them for later, because otherwise you simply won’t have enough time and desire.

The result of this method: there is an opinion that the first time you can remove the negative attitude, and you will no longer be bothered by it. You need to focus on your feelings. Everything went well if you understand that you are satisfied with the work that you have done with yourself. You are inexplicably light and free, you feel that a heavy load has fallen from your shoulders.

In case you have serious problems, and you are very firmly convinced that absolutely no one likes you, then you will have to repeat this practice again, just don’t do it today, it’s enough for today. This is quite simple to do, and psychology promises a quick effect, so it makes sense to listen to the opinion of professionals.

Working with self-esteem

It is very important to have a healthy self-esteem, (healthy is moderately high) and at the same time you must be aware that how you feel about yourself, and that's how the people around you generally treat you. If someone treats you negatively, it may be your “no one likes me” mindset. In this case, you can’t put up with the situation and show that you can behave disgustingly with you. If you do not show others that you are important and where your place is, then they will determine for you your place where you clearly do not want to be.

It is imperative to work to defend your boundaries and not be afraid to express your point of view and yourself as a whole. Most likely, there is no such thing that no one likes you, they just don’t notice you. And sometimes it’s even worse, but in reality it can be like this: people don’t notice you and you don’t like it. That would be a better way to describe your problem. At the same time, most likely, you want to be seen, heard, but at the same time you are not ready to do anything for this.

You need to look for reasons in yourself, and these are the reasons that prevent you from opening up to others.

By the way, if you do not accept yourself and think that no one likes you, then maybe you have problems in your relationship with your mother. It is believed that people accept themselves and form this acceptance through their relationship with their mother. Perhaps you are missing this. A mother is the person who must let her child know that he is absolutely unique and valuable simply by the fact of his existence. Understand that you are attractive and significant, even if you are wearing ordinary clothes and you ride a bike, not a cool car.

There is also a version that people attract to themselves what they think about and what they fear. When you go out on the street, do you expect to be looked at unkindly? If so, don't be surprised. After all, you set yourself up for it. The whole Universe lives in our head, and we ourselves are able to tune ourselves into different waves. Notice that people on the positive do not have such problems at all. Maybe it's worth thinking about it.

Why are you so unlucky in life and no one likes you?

Each person has his own reasons for failure in his life and often this is due to mistakes that people make in relation to themselves.

Consider the main points that greatly interfere with building good relationships with people around.

Perhaps no one likes you because you constantly whine and complain. It is foolish to communicate with a person who only does what he suffers and tries to find free ears for himself so that the point will suffer. If you think that you are surrounded by masochists, then you are very mistaken. Normal people want to communicate with adequate people and they are not at all impressed by the suffering of others.

Maybe you have a lot of shortcomings that you do not even try to fight or completely ignore them. Maybe in person you are incredibly clingy and it is absolutely unpleasant to contact you. Perhaps even someone told you about it, but you pretend that nothing happened and continue to impose yourself on others. After that, don't be surprised that no one likes you.

Also, the reason may be that you yourself are modest, constrained and unsociable. Thus, you simply will not be able to interact with others. And the problem called "No one likes me" is not going anywhere.

By the way, because of the same shyness, you can behave a little inappropriately and they will simply bypass you a mile away.

Another reason why no one likes you may be your unwillingness to look after the appearance and cleanliness of your body. If you do not take care of yourself, then do not be surprised that they do not want to communicate with you. Maybe you smell bad, or your clothes are torn and old. Now it is not so difficult to get yourself normal clothes, because it is absolutely not necessary to spend a lot of money on branded clothes, it is enough to look neat and clean, and this is possible even with the lowest paid job.

Another reason why no one likes you may be your lack of masculinity. That is, if you are too feminine, behave abnormally, then perhaps people will shy away from you. There is nothing wrong with that, that you feel different from others, but our society is still subject to traditions and people do not react very well to those who are different from them. The same can be said if you are completely covered in tattoos or look somehow informal.

What to do about it? Take each item and work it through. If you look bad, do something about it. As a result, you will notice how the situation is changing, and perhaps your “no one likes me” mindset will simply disappear when you start working on yourself.

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What you need to do to please others

When you have such a problem as interacting with others and it seems to you that no one likes you, then something needs to be done about it. Let's think about the ways in which you can learn to arouse sympathy, so as not to jump out of your own pants.

1. Be in the lives of the people around you. What does it mean? The fact is that in order to improve communication and understanding between people, they need to see each other as often as possible in real life. Therefore, you don't have to be a recluse. Go to where you work, relax, to a fitness club, and the more often you flicker in front of others, the better they will treat you. There is even such an experiment that the girls went to pairs to the teacher, but did not say a word there. And when the teacher was asked who he likes best, he singled out those who attended his lectures most often.

This is a fairly simple method, but somewhere on the subconscious level, a person finds you more attractive, because he sees you often and takes you for his own.

2. Show that you care. If you are interested in others, it will make you feel like you care. Thus, both you and the person with whom you communicate, are interested in his life, will mutually like each other.

And always, if you start communicating with a person, then in any case you want to sympathize and want him to perceive you positively. Therefore, try to behave not only decently, but also in such a way that the person understands that he is interesting to you.

3. Smile more often. Yes, this advice may seem naive, but it works. If you smile, then the person does not feel any negativity from you, and it will also be easier for you to build relationships. Very often in life it happens like in the famous children's song, where it is sung that friendship begins with a smile.

4. Perhaps you seem too self-confident to people. Try, even if you are incredibly cool, in your opinion, do not show it all to others. You can carry yourself with dignity, but if you drop your chin or act like a crown prince, then people will not like it because it looks like arrogance. Body movement experts advise slightly lowering your head when addressing and talking to other people, as this gesture shows that you are interested in what the person is saying.

5. Raise your eyebrows. Since we started talking about body language, here it would be appropriate to mention other gestures that help others like you. If you are interested in your interlocutor, then you need to express this by raising your eyebrows periodically, but do not do it too strongly and ostentatiously. You need to withstand the golden mean, and then there is a chance that you will be able to show the person that you are interested in him. And this, as you already know, helps others to like you.

6. Do not purse your lips. Such a gesture has a very negative effect on the perception of others around you. Usually, pursed lips indicate that you feel out of place, and are trying to restrain yourself from saying something superfluous. Also, people often purse their lips when they think the person said something stupid. Believe me, the interlocutor considers your emotions and it will be unpleasant for him. And then don't be surprised that others don't like you.

7. Refrain from condemnation. The fact is that only the old women at the entrance behave this way. Do you need it? Unlikely. If you have an opinion about life that you want to convey to others, and it is the most true and very important, then it is better not to express it. If you are not asked, then you do not need to give advice. Because all people have the right to live the way they want. If you see that the people around you are doing a complete game, then just watch it and try not to repeat their mistakes.

8. Pay attention to what others think. You should not constantly say something, or take your opinion as the ultimate truth. People find interesting those who want to listen to the opinions of others. That is, if you constantly talk about yourself, attracting attention, you will not achieve what you want. It is only possible that you will be considered a thorn in a certain place. Therefore, if you want to please everyone, politely listen to the opinion of everyone with whom you communicate. And you don't have to like them. The bottom line is that everyone wants to be heard and you have to give them that opportunity.

9. Try to remember what others say about yourself. If you want to understand how to please others, then this is one of the secrets. If you memorize little things about people, and then ask them “How are you”, and clarify various details, then they will think that they are important to you and you will also become interesting. For example, you can remember the name of your caretaker’s granddaughter, or remember a colleague’s birthday, and when you ask about your granddaughter or wish your colleague a happy birthday, you will notice how happy the person is, because people are very pleased when they are remembered.

Understand that it is impossible to please everyone. The fact is that all people are different, everyone has different characters, and there is a lot more that can affect their mood and attitude towards you. Maybe the girl who was rude to you had a very difficult day today, or she broke up with a guy. That is, it is not at all necessary that a person treats you badly. You probably don't belong here at all. It is important not to overestimate yourself, and not to think that the attitude of others towards you depends entirely on you. The next time it seems to you that a person has a negative attitude towards you, remember this.

Remember the Rorschach test. Why is it suddenly being talked about? Maybe you remember what its essence is? People are shown blots and asked to identify what is depicted there. Do you know that it's not about the blots at all, but about the people themselves, and what they see speaks about them, and not about the drawings. For example, a drawing seems to be a flower to one person, a garbage heap to another. Everything depends on our perception. And here you need to understand that if you think that a person doesn’t like you, that maybe it’s because you are not the same in his picture of the world, then he is interested. If you meet a person who looks at the world the same way as you, you will be accepted favorably, and he will like you for who you are.

Always remember that there is negativity and there are neutral attitudes. But very often, people who live with the “no one likes me” attitude go to extremes and think that if others do not treat them positively, then they will definitely show negativity. But it's not. Most of the time, people don't care about you. And that's okay. After all, you react to them the same way.

Usually, only those whom they love, with whom they live and with whom they spend a lot of time, matter. All other people are just background. If you think that a person is in a bad mood towards you, then perhaps he is just thinking about something else, and he doesn’t even notice you at that moment.

Watch how you perceive others. People tend to constantly seek approval, and if they do not find it, they think that everyone around them treats them terribly. Most likely, you are familiar with this when you look at a person and "read his mind." Of course, it is impossible to read them, and therefore you are simply too worried about what others think of you. Be sure to understand that the most important thing is common sense. And common sense and reading other people's minds don't mix well.

If after all this you still think that no one likes you, then it might still be worth going to a psychologist and working through these problems. People tend to wind themselves up and dream of the approval of others. If you do not receive it, then it seems to you that no one needs you, no one likes you, and so on. Try to do more business, and not empty self-winding.

When you are busy, you will forget that you are very worried about the opinions of others. After all, most often loafers or those who need the help of a specialist are driven so hard. And it does not necessarily mean some serious illness. You just need to sort out your cockroaches and stop thinking that you matter to every passerby. Then it will be much easier to change the negative attitude to a positive one. At the same time, try not to go to extremes and not think that everyone is delighted with you. Most likely, they are neutral towards you, and this is absolutely normal.