Long distance love: long distance relationship

Many people, at least once in their lives, have had long-distance relationships. Yes, this thing is quite complicated and can occur for various reasons. How to cope when you have such a relationship and at the same time you want to be with your beloved as soon as possible? What to do when you think that love at a distance is not for you and dream of reuniting with a woman as soon as possible? What to do if hands drop? This and much more will be discussed below.

Three Atlantes of relationships

First you need to understand what any love relationship is and should be based on. It is conditionally possible to call these things Atlanteans, since these are supports, the basis, the most important thing that should be in any relationship:

1. Love. Yes, this is by far the most important. It allows a person to open up, to be generous, when there really is a desire to share everything that you have. This is when you are looking for intimacy, both emotional and spiritual, organizing a common space where both of you can freely realize yourself, helping each other at the same time. This may also be called the attraction of souls;

2. Self-esteem. No, self-respect does not interfere with love and should not interfere. You must find a middle ground between them and be able to harmonize it. If you love blindly, without thinking about your own dignity, you will dissolve in your woman. Yes, at first, with such a dissolution, it may seem to you that you are madly in love and happy as well, but the fact is that every day, every hour you will need more and more, it will seem that all the time is not enough, you will begin to get the girl and choke yourself, as a result, you will not need yourself or her;

Your self-respect must be based on respect for the girl. If you respect yourself, consider that half of the work is done and love will be strong. You should feel self-sufficient, not part of a woman. No need to be a poor artist with scarlet roses, who sold everything he had and was left with nothing, not thinking about the future. With roses alone, you will not be needed by your beloved, you need to think about how to provide for your family. Learn to solve your problems yourself and help others, then everything will work out well for you in love. When both respect each other, no one burdens anyone with problems, solves everything on their own, but at the same time enjoys communication and wants it as much as possible, participates in his life. If, on the contrary, you are too proud, then love will not work either, only calculations of your investments. Self-respect is based on the fact that you perfectly understand that you do not need to beg for love for yourself, or feed another, give only as much as he needs. If you see. That the second does not want anything, the love craving should disappear, since a person who respects himself should not reach out to someone who does not reach out towards him;

3. The same everyday life. Even if you have love and self-respect, everything can collapse if you do not know how to get along together so that the atmosphere in the house is comfortable for development. Usually, if you have love and self-respect, it is much easier to organize something in terms of everyday life, you can even build everything from scratch. Everyone will sincerely want to contribute something to the relationship, do something and life does not become a problem. We just need to work together on it.

If you and your girlfriend live in different cities or work like this, and you also have different upbringings, a strong age difference, your parents are against the union, then even love that burns brightly can become a burden. Because this Atlantean alone will not cope, he will not pull out the relationship on himself alone. Self-esteem will also tell you not to keep a relationship in the presence of constant conflicts.

So you need to keep this in mind when you want to survive for a while, while there is a place to be love at a distance. Perhaps, over time, life will appear and everything will work out as well as possible. Of course, provided that both of you will plow, and not one of you will lie on the couch and say something like: “I won’t do anything, you do it.”

How to work on relationships when you are far apart?

Yes, love at a distance is incredibly difficult for both. Here, both jealousy poisoning everything with its poison, and unrealized sexual desire, attempts at depreciation, sadness, anger and despair can be present. But there is always a way out. You can live and work on yourself, as well as earn money for your life in anticipation of a shared future. Every distance has a reason. Most often it is work, study, moving, sometimes it is a conflict, sometimes there is a lack of funds for living together.

The most important thing here is to understand how important and necessary it is for you to live with each other. And more importantly, what are you both willing to do for this?

Here's an example: your girlfriend moved to another city because you had too many quarrels that brought her to a nervous breakdown. Who is to blame, there is no point in thinking. You need to think about how important it is for you to be together. Are you ready to start over and bring her back to you?

If so, you have several options for the development of events:

1. You fly to her. Trying to look for work in her city, you rent an apartment together or buy it;

2. You call the girl to your place, help her with the move and everything happens according to the same scenario;

3. You visit each other at least once every couple of months, live for some time in two cities, planning the future. When you decide on a place, you move;

4. If you have children, try to choose the option that is best for them. If there is a garden, then perhaps it is worth living where the garden is. If school, then accordingly, also. Work also matters and it is better to adapt to someone who earns more and is able to provide for a family. Well, if the work is remote, not everyone is so lucky (not to be tied to a place), but it’s still worth trying;

5. Together you choose a third city and move there.

How not to go crazy with jealousy?

There is one answer here - trust your partner. If there is no trust, it is better not to get involved in a relationship. All because then every day will be torture for you or her. If you are jealous, then you will "take out the brain" endlessly until the girl gets tired so much that she decides to leave the relationship. The fact is that unfounded suspicions of treason, deception can be offensive to a person. Especially when they sound from the groom, husband, boyfriend.

If you are incredibly jealous, most importantly, do not make mistakes, do not become a stalker. No need to track her movements, call constantly and suspiciously ask about where she is and with whom. An adult can and is responsible for herself, and if she needs someone else, you will know about it if you just stay attentive. The right questions will always reveal the truth. Therefore, be calm, do work and plan for the future. If it doesn't work out, then it will be even better. The main thing is not to give up.

How to maintain love at a distance

How do you maintain the warmth of a fire? Lay logs. In a relationship, this means your and her investments in a common cauldron or fire, if you like. Anything you want to do with joy and can do will strengthen your relationship. At a distance, you can also give gifts, you can surprise and make pleasant surprises. You can call each other every day if you wish. And that's great. Visiting is also a good option.

Warm up the relationship as much as you can and it will last for quite some time. It depends only on you and no one else.

If you decide to end everything, but don't know how to say it so as not to offend

Yes, it happens that you give up. In this case, if you have weighed everything several times and definitely decided to leave, do not delay. Do not try to drag in a mother who is suddenly against it, a grandmother or friends. If you want to leave, take responsibility for yourself, it will be worthy. You are an adult, you can change your decisions, be disappointed in life, not stand it or want something simpler, because love at a distance is incredibly difficult.

It's hard to give up. Especially if you're not used to it. Either way, it's up to you two to decide if the relationship is worth continuing. If so, just try not to think about it.

If not, then there are several options to say with the least loss. And at the same time, you should be the most sincere and think not only about your feelings and emotions, but about the feelings of the girl. After all, if you are the initiator of the breakup, then you should take care to do it with less pain for her. More or less acceptable might look like this:

1. Forgive me, I can no longer tolerate this distance and want to get out of the relationship. Yes, this is my weakness and I take full responsibility for this parting. Yes, I know that I could come, I could come up with something, but I don’t have the strength and energy for this;

2. I realized that we can no longer be together, as the distance turned out to be an insurmountable obstacle for me. I hope you are happy without me. I give up;

3. I realized that I could not live in two cities even for six months. It is important for me to always be there. My job does not allow me to move to you, and it is more important for me.

Yes, actually the reasons sound like no reasons when you really want to be with a girl. But at least don't forget to apologize. Love at a distance is a test. We are not robots, we can break too. Therefore, try to make sure that you both come out of this situation with at least some positive attitude towards each other.

How not to give up and be strong in love?

First of all, it is worth understanding how people live in whom everything is in order with love relationships. In order - means that this resource is well developed and works correctly, no matter how strange it may sound. Love can be conditionally divided into several stages:

  1. People get to know each other;
  2. Appears attraction and as a result, the establishment of intimacy;
  3. The birth of love itself is the union of souls;
  4. Strengthening the relationship (wedding).

Yes, these stages are understandable, but they do not mean that every couple who has gone through them has developed their love skills. On the contrary, most often it happens that people met, fell in love and even got married, and then their feelings passed and they couldn’t find another. But if they developed the skill of love, they could easily meet and build relationships with new people.

If you are pumped in this, then you know how to go through each stage not on a whim, but so that you can form this skill, consolidate it. This does not mean that you will change women like gloves, you can just find your one and only.

And if you know how to love, then you can communicate with a girl in such a way that she herself will reach out to you. And you will survive any obstacles, distances, because only death will be able to somehow stand in your way. Nothing more. Moreover, if a misfortune worse than the distance happens, and at the same time you can remain faithful to your beloved woman all your life, or you can find another. The bottom line is that you are so resourceful that you can do anything if you want.

Why is it important not to lose ease in a relationship?

Love at a distance, and any other relationship ends as soon as lightness disappears from them. This is a really important indicator of a relationship. If you did not initially have lightness in a couple, then it is unlikely that you had love. Pay attention to this before you figure out what to do and whether you will survive love at a distance.

See if a girl is easy with you. Whether you ship it or not. If you consider yourself smarter than others, condemn everyone around and try to point out their mistakes to them, then very soon people will shy away from you, because you become boring and boring. It is possible that at a distance the girl will communicate with other people and they will be more interesting than you.

How to be easy so that everything is good in your relationship? Just being humble is enough. More modestly, this means that you can not pretend to be a teacher, but rejoice and laugh at the jokes of other people. If you smile, it means you are comfortable and good. You will be considered easy and sincere. Then they will be drawn to you, because your attitude and communication with you brings them pleasure.

Very often in a breakup, during a period of long-distance relationships, you become very difficult, because you want to keep control over a woman in any way, because you need to be sure, or you don't trust her. As a result, you become intrusive, boorish, sticky and lose your lightness and brightness. If you have been in a relationship for a long time and the girl loves you, then for some time you will live in a “neither there nor here” state, and if you just met recently, then the relationship will simply fall apart. The easier it is for you to be together and the stronger you can keep the balance, the longer love at a distance can last.

Lightness is not taken from the air, nor is it associated with the burden that you are trying to load on another person. As soon as you understand that you are responsible for yourself and you can’t load others, you will be fine. You will be ready to wait for years. Your respect for yourself and the girl is also the basis for ease. You need to be able to build relationships not in your head, but in real life, then you will have no illusions about how you will overcome the stage called "love at a distance."

Try not to be stingy, invest in relationships, not hoping that you will be given back with interest. It is very important not to expect something from a partner that you want, and the other is not ready to give.

How to behave in such a way as to overcome the difficulties of distance without loss?

Learn to understand that your bad mood and dissatisfied tone will not strengthen your relationship in any way. Also, it will not strengthen them that you will say or moan "everything is lost", "everything is terrible, we will never be together." If you dream that a girl should take care of your morale, then you are very much mistaken. You must take care of this yourself.

What you really should do is to offer the girl something interesting, inspiring, but not to make claims, be jealous, complain, and even more so make comments like a strict daddy. Learn to direct your attention wherever you want and understand that no one pulls from you, that you must calmly and judiciously manage your attention. If you stick to a girl and you don’t like it, leave her alone, and even more so don’t tell her for it, it’s better to think about how you got to such a life and how to avoid it in the future.

Let's say you are now in a long-distance relationship, and you want the girl to devote all her free time to you. So that she responds to messages immediately after receiving, and you were her first place after work. You are open and want to text and call all the time, but your tone, claims and reproaches only freeze the girl and she, on the contrary, wants to talk to you less and less.

If you decide that your lady is responsible for your pleasures and should love you, this is too presumptuous. So you just become a burden. Even if you yourself are a good person. Try to imagine how you can love sincerely and not be a chewing gum that cannot be torn off from yourself.

Remember how calm and easy, positive you were until you fell head over heels in love and started to go too far and put a heavy burden of responsibility for your mood on the girl's shoulders.

If you understand what it means to be passionate, hot and at the same time not heavy, not choking, then love at a distance will not be afraid of you.

What are the chances of a long distance relationship?

It depends directly on your desire - yours and the girl's. If both want, then there is every chance for a positive outcome. You need to plan your life just for a year or two (depending on how long love lasts at a distance). Not only to plan at the same time, but also to work on implementation.

Usually the goal of all who are separated by distance is reunion. Unite together in the name of a common goal, do not whine, do not spoil each other's mood with words about hopelessness, speculation and jealousy.

The chances will tend to zero if you together tell each other that you don’t believe, that you want something else, that you are disappointed and tired, that there is no point in your relationship and other moments that can break inspire, upset and deprive of hope.

What to do while you live at a distance?

Well, first of all, you should decide on the status of your relationship. If you want to get married, you can propose to a girl, let her feel like a bride, and you are a groom. This will help to think about the upcoming family life.

Remember to live together for at least a year before getting married. Because everyday life destroys many good relationships.

Secondly, learn to serve yourself in everyday life. After all, you don’t think that this will all fall on the shoulders of the girl? Now women work the same way as men, and therefore household duties should be shared between two. No need to put the responsibility of self-service on a partner. Anything you can do on your own, do it. Relationships will last much longer.

Third, hoard money. This advice is always good, but it is especially good when you and your girlfriend decide to plan a life together. You, as the head of the family, will have to support the family and keep in mind that at some point you will most likely have children and your wife will have to be on maternity leave with a newborn baby and all her time will slip through her fingers. She may not even have time to cook and clean. Keep in mind that without your help she will not cope.

Fourth, fly in or visit your beloved as often as possible, but if you are not allowed to leave work, then just buy her tickets if she can fly. The time spent together in reality is very valuable. Try to do this as often as possible. Walk, try to live together and communicate without conflict. Give her gifts, souvenirs, participate in her life. This needs to be done more actively, especially when you are at a distance.

To summarize everything that has been said, long-distance relationships are a very real thing, and after them there may well be a wedding and a happy family. Both should work to ensure that the relationship develops and grows stronger. Love at a distance requires both financial and moral costs.