Learn to read between women's lines

You listen to the feminists and imbued with the idea that the purpose of a man is to invent ways to fool a gullible creature. Our answer to Chamberlain - 10 main female excuses!

Whether we like it or not, the vast majority of women are sure that men are inherently deceitful creatures and it is difficult to re-educate them. And even the fact that there are still more men among the saints than women can in no way shake this confidence.

You listen to some feminists, and you yourself are imbued with the idea that the main purpose of a man is a 24-hour invention of new ways to fool a tender, fragile and gullible creature. And then rudely and cynically trample on him. Therefore, skillfully hanging barbarian ears with kilograms of pasta is the only way of protection remaining for gullible creatures.

Our answer to Chamberlain is the 10 main female excuses and their literal interpretation. Experts in women's military field maneuvers from B-52 share with you their espionage experience.

1. “Beauty is not the main thing. The main thing is the soul”, or “Money is not the main thing. The main thing is the soul ”

The ladies, who just speak of handsome handsome men and rich Pinocchio, are not averse to discussing these topics. If you hear one of these maxims, you know: apparently, the girl was recently thrown by another Banderas or Bill Gates. And, naturally, for this reason, she temporarily indulged in philosophical discussions on a topical topic. But don't be fooled. As one of my friends used to say, “a woman who once felt the warmth of the front seat of a car will never ride with you in a trolley bus.” So, having licked her wounds, such a friend will again begin the hunt for her monetary and aesthetic ideal.

Translation: "A man should be rich, handsome and - if possible - understanding"

2. "Call me sometime"

Classical telephone excuse. If a woman does not want to directly give you a turn from the gate, then she says exactly this phrase. You call, and each time it turns out that she is either in the shower, or you caught her on the threshold, or she is falling asleep, or has just woken up. Or maybe just "a little busy now"

Translation: "I have more important things to do than chat with you"

3. "I like you as a friend", or “You are like a brother to me”

Surely, every man has ever fallen into such a mess. He invited a pretty lady to dinner, gave flowers and in every possible way pleased her. And then he tried to move further towards the main goal. And smashed his nose against an impregnable wall. "What's the problem?" he asks. “No,” they answer him. "You're a good friend and like you just the way you are." No more, no less.“And precisely at that pioneering distance at which we are now,” reads between the lines. It's just that your friend was bored or wanted someone to hit on her. If this suits you, you can continue to take care of this marvelous garden. But someone else will feast on its fruits, you know!

Translation: "You're not good enough for me."

4. “I'm not ready for a serious relationship now”

This excuse may come soon after the first one. In the event that you buy into her arguments about the beauty of the soul and try to slip your rich inner world without taking care of the wealth of the inner world of your pockets. All you can count on after this phrase is the status of “friend” (excuse number three) or “girlfriend”. In this case, they will also tell you “how difficult it is to find a good man” and you will finally feel like a complete idiot.

Translation: “You are not a handsome man and you are not a moneybag, so why should we get close?”

5. “I have critical days” Apparently, not a single suitable excuse came into the beautiful female head at that moment. I had to use the iron version, hinting that "it's better not to mess with me now." If you are good at arithmetic and good at memory, you can easily figure out if this is a lie. Of course, only if the excuse is not used for the first time.

Translation: "I did not find anything better in my defense."

6. “Not today. I have a headache / I'm too tired / not in the mood ”

A traditional excuse for married women. Until they are ringed, they are sex-hungry females. After - dosed issuing sex ladies. Well, in the end, they can be understood: there is a reason to have sex later, but the series is not repeated. You, however, also have a choice: masturbation, a doll from a sex shop, or heroic abstinence.

Translation: from "Quiet - the children will hear" and "Today on TV - my favorite series" to "After this, you need to wash up...".

7. “It doesn't matter what size it is. What matters is how you use it”

If your friend is not able to pierce it through, there is always the possibility that he is smaller than his predecessor. Or significantly less. Then, on occasion, you will be consoled by such a disappointing phrase. After all, in fact, stories about giant members of a woman are passed from mouth to mouth as legends.

Translation: “Grow him and grow with you!”.

8. Everything that belongs to me is yours

This excuse sounds when a woman is not averse to putting her pen in your wallet. But be sure that all the property acquired by her and her parents will still remain her property. So if you are planning to marry a girl with a dowry in the form of a house or apartment, it is better to buy housing in a pool, or yourself.

Otherwise, you will remain “the guy who moved in with her” for the rest of your life. As for money and other material values ​​that you did not personally earn, spend them for the benefit of your betrothed. Believe me, she will take it for granted. And, perhaps, temporarily give you an indulgence. Then you still have to take into account the translation of this phrase...

Translation: "And everything that belongs to you, respectively, is mine!".

9. "I want to make you happy"

Women's happiness - would be nice next to me, according to Tatyana Ovsienko (brrr!). She does not finish, does not finish - next to her on a leash! It's nice to go shopping for ladies' clothes or to your own mother's for lunch. Here it is, happiness! Didn't you know? I suppose they thought that happiness was ` lounging in front of the TV with a case of beer and watching cup matches all evening? Naive!

Translation: "Do as I say, and then everything will be all right."

10. "Everyone has the right to privacy"

This is the Mother of all excuses. The main postulate that can cover everything. The right to privacy, of course, is granted exclusively to women. Because a woman with a private life is just a mysterious and mysterious creature. And the man is an inattentive and hard-hearted potential deceiver.

Judging by centuries of experience, after this phrase is uttered, you can put an end to relations with your lady. Unless you're a Samoyed masochist, of course.