An imposing man - who is this at all? If you look at other articles on this topic, then there you will be bombarded with epithets: elegant, refined, noble... Majestic, epta! At least now at the ball to Louis the Fourteenth (yeah, in over the knee boots, stockings, with makeup and in a curly wig - google how they dressed then).
This is all, of course, good and even inspiring to some extent, but here we will talk specifically. An imposing man - who is he, how to become one, what specific steps need to be taken, what aspects of one's behavior need to be worked out. Go!
Let's deal with the definitions
The very word "impressive" - French origin. Means "impressive, striking, impressive" and comes from the verb imposer - impress, inspire respect.
Therefore, "impressive man" can be replaced by "impressive man", "a man who impresses". If you expand the definition, then it’s also suitable here: “a man who attracts to himself”, “a man who inspires respect and reverence”, something like that.
Who do you imagine when you hear the phrase "impressive man" or one of the synonyms that I listed above? Most likely, this is such a man from thirty years old, hardly younger (perhaps even with impressive gray hair), in an elegant expensive suit with a Swiss watch on his hands, confident manners, perfect posture, and it is directly visible from him that couple of extra millions.
In order to become such, you need, firstly, that you are very lucky either to be born in the right family (let's be realistic), or at the right time (when the economy is being redistributed and new profitable industries are emerging, for example).
And let's be realistic: the main component of such an image is money, which allowed our Mr. Impressive to buy this expensive watch and expensive suit and gave him this imposing self-confidence. But I will not teach you how to make money, this is purely your own business and too complicated a question to cover it in one article.
I will tell you how to get closer to this image, at least externally and in behavior, because you can win over yourself and inspire respect even without having ten thousand million on your card.
How to become an imposing man: a collection of tips
Tip one: clothes
No, you it is not at all necessary to buy an expensive suit and always walk only in it. What for? It's absolutely pointless. But in general it would be nice to stick to the classic style.
Firstly, it is he who is associated with the words "impressive", "impressive", "respectable", because the classic style looks expensive, elegant and never becomes outdated. Secondly, it looks good on almost everyone. Thirdly, it adds attractiveness points. In a T-shirt you are a simple system administrator Serezha, and in a white shirt with casually rolled up sleeves and an unbuttoned button, you are already an attractive man Sergey.
But even if you don’t like the classic style, or personally it turns you into a schoolboy Vaska, in any case, you should follow a few rules regarding clothing and appearance.
1. First, you must always be clean and tidy.
Yes, this is advice from the series “you should wash your hands before eating”, but you won’t believe how many men (and women, for sure) do not follow basic hygiene rules.
In short: cut your nails, clean the mourning border from under them, wash your whole body thoroughly to smell like a healthy male body, and not all sorts of indecent things like yesterday's mother's borscht, wash your head, change socks and shorts preferably every day or at least every other day, the clothes are exceptionally clean, ironed and pleasantly smelling, the shoes are shiny, the collar is fresh, you are beautiful.
If you have lush vegetation on your body, decide for yourself what to do with it, but in any case, make sure that it also smells good. If there are problems with the appearance of the level of "acne, oily sheen and black dots on the nose, eyebrows strive to grow together into one powerful hairy caterpillar" - treat it. It's not scary or painful, honestly, just google your skin problems and buy the appropriate products in the store, bravo, you are amazing.
These simple rules of hygiene will already make you much more attractive, no matter what you are wearing.
2. Make sure that your clothes fit you, emphasize your dignity.
If you have always dressed according to the principle “what first fell out of the closet” - ask your wife, sister, in the end, read about the rules of style yourself, it’s not in vain that all great stylists are men.
3. Make sure that all the elements of the wardrobe are combined with each other and look like a single set.
Well, you know, so that there was no feeling of “I blinded him from what was”, and you put on your dad's expensive wrist watch with your favorite Star Wars T-shirt.
4. Choose a few basic things that can be combined with each other in any sequence.
For example, two pairs of trousers, light and dark, and several shirts of different shades - here you have a set of clothes for a week, you can put on a new one every day.
5. If you want, pick up some jewelry for yourself.
Believe me, men's jewelry can look very stylish, classy and expensive: a discreet bracelet will emphasize your masculinely graceful, strong wrist, a ring - the long fingers of a pianist, a pendant with a wolf will demonstrate a brutal animal nature, and at the same time your emancipation, since you are not embarrassed to wear this, and it doesn’t matter what they think of you.
Tip two: overall appearance
Dude, get some exercise.
Yes, and you have already heard this advice many times. I’ll explain why he is in the article “An Impressive Man”.
1. Sport is health.
You will stay in good shape longer, even when you get older, the number of diseases will decrease. And a healthy person is always more attractive than a sick person, we are not in the nineteenth century with its fashion for a consumptive blush.
2. Sports are endorphins.
Purely physiologically: from the movement, hormones are produced that make you feel pleasure, the blood is saturated with oxygen. Ironically, your body likes to move, you just have to find the kind of movement you like.
And even more endorphins - more good mood, and a person with a good mood always attracts more than one who hates all living things.
3. The most important thing: sport is self-confidence and confident control of your body.
Just because you often pay attention to it: your body, your muscles, various body movements, your brain remembers how to move so that you feel comfortable and comfortable. Accordingly, you move more confidently, more smoothly.
It's hard to put into words. Try to observe somehow the movements of people who are professionally involved in some kind of sports or dancing, how they move not on the sports ground, but in everyday life. You will notice an elusive grace, confidence, a high level of control over your body, looseness. And it's very attractive.
What specific sport is up to you. You can strength training, swimming, yoga, you can even dance - they cheer up and strengthen self-confidence.
Third tip: manners
An imposing man is attracted not only by appearance. You can have the body of a Greek god, and dress better than a Hollywood star - if at the same time you behave tactlessly, rudely, ugly, not understanding what is appropriate for the situation and what is not - all efforts will go down the drain.
Good manners are laid down from childhood, they are difficult to learn in adulthood, if in childhood you saw and absorbed something else, often the opposite. But here's what you should know:
- Appearance should be appropriate for the situation. They put on a suit to the theater, light comfortable clothes for a picnic, comfortable casual clothes for a walk. This is not only etiquette, but also elementary convenience: you will feel uncomfortable in conditional sportswear among men in expensive tuxedos, and on a walk or on a hike, clothing is a matter of convenience.
- Behavior also corresponds to the situation. The main rule here is: live and let live. Behave in a way that does not disturb anyone. If people around are listening to something (excursion, performance, film) - do not make noise, do not interfere with them, for example.
- By default, your speech and behavior should be polite and friendly, until the person has shown that it is possible or even necessary with him (for example, he is very rude to you and does not hear attempts to build a constructive dialogue) to be treated in the opposite way.
- Let's call it the presumption of innocence: until a person turns on the cattle, behave with him kindly and calmly.
- Cursing, dirty jokes or black humor are appropriate for friendly companies, where everyone is comfortable from this. In all other situations, all this is inappropriate. Seriously, your girlfriend's dad won't appreciate the joke about having his grandmother's ashes on the mantelpiece. No, really.
- Behavior with women. By default, an imposing man with ladies is gallant. He will hold the door, lend a hand on the stairs, carry a heavy suitcase, help put on a coat.
However, if a lady refuses your signs of attention - do not impose them. Seriously, trying to force a lady into a coat, despite her persistent resistance, is not imposing, it's pathetic, as well as resentment at "Thank you, I myself" in response to the offer to carry the suitcase. It's your job to offer, her job to refuse. Learn to accept rejection with dignity.
These are the basic rules that will help you behave with dignity in any situation.
Tip Four: Body Language
More subtle than manners. Imposingness is always self-confidence. And self-confidence is read just by body language. What you need to know:
Turned shoulders, straight back, but not as if you swallowed a pole, but in such a way that relaxation, calmness, confidence come from you.
2. Open gestures and postures.
Open means literally directed outward, not inward. Open arms and knees, soft, open, interested in the interlocutor look.
3. Rounded gestures are perceived more positively.
Try to say something aloud and watch how your hands move while illustrating the story.
If they try to illustrate it, as it were, to show with gestures what is happening, and the movements of the hands are smooth, rounded, without sharp, sharp corners - everything is fine. If you have a habit of putting your hands in your pockets, crossing, squeezing behind your back - most likely, this is perceived as closeness and tension. If you have a habit of hacking with your palm, waving your arms sharply, like Zhirinovsky at speeches, then you will be perceived as an overly aggressive dude.
The amount of gesture is also important. Here we need a golden mean, perhaps with a bias towards "minimum gesticulation." If you wave your arms like a windmill, you are perceived as fussy, if you hold yourself tight, you are unsure of yourself, but if gesticulation is present, but in moderation, it’s so good.
4. Don't be afraid to take up more space.
If you are sitting, relax, lean back, put your hands on the armrests, you can even put your hand on the back of the chair, mark your territory - this way you will be perceived as a more confident person.
Tip Five: Voice and Speech
No swearing by default has already been said. But still speech should be rich and confident. A person who cannot connect two words, because there is no vocabulary or a banal conversational skill, no one will call imposing, do you agree?
How to make speech richer? The answer is simple and complex at the same time. First, read more. It is through reading that we get most of our vocabulary, so if you loved to read as a child, then now your vocabulary is most likely wider and richer than that of your peers, even if you abandoned reading later. When we read, we remember words better because they are given to us in context.
Second, talk more, because that's how you get the hang of it. Your brain simply remembers how to strain your vocal cords, how to breathe so as not to get lost in a long phrase, how to speak and think at the same time if you tell something without preparation.
In general, if you have problems with speech (and many people have them), it makes sense to go to public speaking courses or at least read literature, the same Stanislavsky, the classics will never become outdated. Speech is an important factor when it comes to how others perceive you.
Nuance about the voice. A low voice is perceived as more impressive, attractive and inspiring respect than a high one, and people subconsciously believe that a person with a low voice is more confident than a high one.
The same goes for the tempo of speech. Slow speech is associated with confidence: a person, as it were, is not afraid to take up space and time, to take up space, which means that he is confident in himself. If he chatters, gets confused, it means that he is worried and in a hurry to finish the phrase so as not to take away someone else's
Sixth tip: education
An imposing person is self-confident, respectable, disposable, commanding respect. None of this is possible without one factor: competence. You have to be good at something. Ideally, this "something" should bring you money, so the fact that you know by name all the ponies from "My little pony" here, I'm sorry, does not fit.
Now there will be a bit of banality, simply because the topic of the work is too broad and individual to give specific advice: develop in your field. Try to grow above yourself, try to learn new things, strive for more earnings and more comfort in life (unless, of course, you need it).
Plus, you can have an interesting hobby that you can also talk about in an interesting way. Just imagine: you, all such an elegant, well-groomed, handsome man, naturally lean on the bar counter and casually tell how you went kayaking or went to the Van Gogh exhibition last weekend. Imposing? And how!
Tip seven: about human qualities
Listen, friend. I'm not going to moralize you. After all, literature and cinema knows many examples of the most imposing villains. You can do whatever you want, just don't kill the kittens, please, they are such sweethearts. I will talk about several qualities that are associated with impressiveness, self-confidence and attractiveness for me personally.
- Ability to keep one's word. Said and done. Promised - delivered. He refused - and does not bend, even if they put pressure on him.
- The ability to say “no” and defend personal boundaries. This means that a person understands where they are, these personal boundaries, understands what is important to him, and knows how to fight for it. And this is very captivating.
- Caring. Because prestige is power. And strength is impossible without kindness, without caring for others. Not necessarily about the whole world at once, just about relatives is enough, but - care.
- The ability to control oneself. A man who is easy to piss off, bring to hysterics - instantly repels.
So that such a person can be called, and he will come, help, protect. And then it doesn’t matter in what form and how he will talk at the same time. Reliability and care are sexier and more imposing than any classic suit.
Advice eight: role models
If you want to become an imposing person, and this is important for you - Try to find a person who will inspire and guide you in this regard. At first, you can lean on him, act and dress like him, and then your own manners, your own style of being an imposing person, will forge themselves.
Here are a couple of examples:
- Rhett Butler from Gone with the Wind;
- James Bond from Bondiana;
- Athos from The Three Musketeers;
- Heroes of Vasily Lanovoy and Vyacheslav Tikhonov from the Soviet cinema;
- Heroes of Colin Firth in many films: Pride and Prejudice, Easy Virtue, Bridget Jones's Diary.
- Ralph Fiennes in The English Patient or Hugh Jackman in Kate & Leo;
- Of course, Sir Sherlock Holmes and Monsieur Hercule Poirot, especially in classical interpretations.