We often betray our dreams, lose faith in ourselves, and resign ourselves to circumstances. But if anything is worth doing, it's only what you dream about. How to turn dreams into reality?
We were taught from childhood that dreams are not serious. Kind of a pampering thing that can wait while you're doing "serious" things. But in fact, dreams are what you need. It is based on who we are and who we want to be. The dream must be taken care of, it must be respected. We should have her. It does not matter: modest or grandiose, fantastic or real. Start taking your dream seriously! In the end, it was with the desire of the "Moon from the sky" that space exploration began. A dream together with skill can change reality.
The worst thing is that we cannot accept ourselves. George Eliot
2. Don't let your dreams be forced on you
What is your dream? Swimming in money? Wear branded clothes and attend fashion shows in Paris? Live in your own huge mansion? Driving through the streets of your city in the latest sports car? All this is complete nonsense if you have not had a huge love for big houses, fancy clothes and expensive cars from birth. Don't rely on ads. Nobody knows what will make you happy. People who have fulfilled their real dream are calm and patient. They make sure they are in the right place at the right time.
Our addictions are as unique as fingerprints. You need to know this, because there is only one true happiness: to live the way you like.
3. Remind yourself of your calling
If you doubt that your dream is really yours, remember your childhood. Children are more aware of their calling. Often we do something that we like, but then we stop. Maybe you quit piano lessons in the fifth grade? Or cook and beautifully set the table after the birth of a child? Maybe someone clipped your wings? For example, a literature teacher who assured you that you would not become a writer? Maybe you yourself have caused alienation from something that fascinated you. Try picking up your brush again, writing a few lines, or playing scales on the piano. Memories of childhood things are inspiring. You can't grow out of a dream. When we remember it, suddenly there are forces for its realization.
It's never too late to become who you could be. George Eliot
4. Find allies
Sometimes we feel alone in our search for a better life. The pursuit of a dream takes us into foreign territory, where we want support. You need allies, people who believe in you and notice your talent. Long overdue author Barbara Sher says the best place to start is with imaginary friends. There are several positives to this. You can take anyone on your support team - from Einstein to your favorite dog that you had as a child. Imaginary friends teach us how to accept help, because in reality, many of us do not know how.
Who would you like to have on your side? Find a quiet place, think and write down the names in a notebook. These can be historical figures, characters from books or films, childhood friends or artists. Find a place for all these people in your home or office. Write who and where will be. Try to imagine what they say to you when you are in doubt or afraid of something. Write down their encouraging remarks. No need to communicate with them for hours on end or contact each time in a difficult situation. Just now know that there is a friend nearby, and what qualities you appreciate about him. This will help in finding real allies in the future.
5. Turn family resistance into support
When we decide to change something in our lives on the way to our cherished dream, our families react differently. Even if it's something beautiful, our loved ones may not be ready for it. And we behave like little children in front of parents who forbid us from playing football instead of studying algebra. When we enter the house, we do not announce to our loved ones: “I decided to become a veterinarian.” We are afraid that they will get angry. We say: “Can I become a veterinarian? Well please." If we don't get a 100 percent yes, then we feel guilty. Later we complain that a loved one does not allow us to realize ourselves and do what we want.
But if we really intend to reach the intended goal, the family should be our support. Stop being kids, you can't be stopped. Your loved one is just a person, and he is scared. It is normal for him to feel ambivalent about the changes that are coming thanks to you.
Don't do something for them, do it for yourself. Do not react sharply to criticism and doubts. Our soul mates deserve the right to fear, anger and doubt. They deserve sympathy. Love is not about washing dishes and preparing breakfast every morning, it is about shared delight in poetry or physics, in enjoyment of each other's uniqueness and mutual practical and emotional support.
If you think the family loves you for the role you play, there is only one way to check it. Drop this role and go through the fear of losing love. All you lose is a little peace. And only weaklings think they're the same thing.
6. Get rid of excess
It is impossible to start a new life while the current life is cluttered with deeds and obligations. The dream needs more space. This does not mean that you need to immediately go through the closet and throw out things. In fact, no one wants to live on the catalog page of a furniture store with a perfect interior. Junk helps to feel at work. But rubbish disturbs our peace of mind, disorder presses on conscience. In such an environment, it is difficult to set up an easel or take on a new startup.
Remember: dreams, like birds, need a free perch. Otherwise, they will not want to fly to your house.
We need to learn to distinguish between really necessary things and those that we have imposed on ourselves. Do not grab a rag and do not sort things. No need to kill the whole weekend for general cleaning. Just go to your desk and put away all important documents in a safe place: passport, driver's license, tax return. If there are old magazines and drafts on the table, throw them away or let them lie on the same place. Don't try to organize your photos or books. You can put them in a box. It doesn't matter if they are in albums or on the shelves - you always know where to find them. Make a commitment to throw away 10 items every month. Soon you will feel that your house has become lighter and more spacious, and there is more free time.
7. Bypass protective barriers
On the way to a dream it is difficult to do without failures and disruptions. At first we decide to change, but after a while we suddenly begin to slip. Lack of time, laziness, lack of self-confidence - what other barriers are there on the way to a dream? Hello procrastination. But even when changes are for the better, resistance grows in us. This is a protective reaction of the body to what seems alien to it. And the fact that we feel guilty because of the unwillingness to continue, exacerbates the situation. Understanding that resistance is inherent in us by nature and it is not an enemy at all will help to move on.
Defense mechanisms cannot be overpowered, but they can be outwitted. One of the maneuvers is to do a minimum of work. Even if it's only 30 seconds a day. You need to remember how wonderful it is to do what you love. It's like going into the sea, afraid of cold water, stand a little and get used to it. Because of the first sensation, you should not deny yourself a swim.
Another way is to stand up and announce loudly: “I won't do anything! Generally! I won’t lift a finger all day!” Even if you protest against training for months, refuse to play the piano or write a novel, you will still be closer to the goal than just forgetting your dreams.
You will not be drawn back into the fog of inertia, you will not fall into hibernation, but will be alert and quite active.
8. Let off steam
Don't pretend to be happy. If you're experiencing stress along the way to your dream, admit that you're feeling crappy. No need to get depressed, but just call a spade a spade. Problem and disaster are not new opportunities. You have negative feelings and that's okay. Just sit down, close your eyes for a minute, and run through the four feelings: Are you feeling angry? Fear? Joy? Pain? Cry or beat a punching bag, emotions need a splash.
It's like a law of physics: energy goes in and energy goes out. Feelings are the tools that help the body and soul sound smooth, like a perfectly running engine. Don't be afraid of them.
9. Find your mantras
You can really make changes in your life that allow you to achieve more. There is a mind training technique used by Tibetan monks called Lojong. It lies in the fact that you constantly repeat a phrase until it is imprinted on your subcortex. So your mind changes its habit of reacting negatively to what you do not like.
You can invent your own mantras. Tell yourself more often “I am now where I should be”, “Look to the future, and do not look back at the past”, “You just need to take the first step”. Write your motivational phrases on stickers and stick them around the house to remind yourself of them constantly.
Name your real dream, acknowledge it, take the first step towards a new life. Do not be afraid of mistakes and temporary disagreements, resign yourself to the fact that sometimes you will want to stop. Give the dream a chance and let unrestrained progress accompany you.
Based on the materials of the books “Changing habits”, “The best time to start”, “It's high time”, “What to dream about”, “Dreaming is not harmful”.