Are you the first to approach another girl, hardly persuade you to give a phone number, write and call, and in response - cold and indifference? Have you tried many pickup tricks, but she staunchly ignores you? Why do you think this is happening? Believe me, there is an explanation for this. Do not rush to get upset, everything is fixable. The following information will help you understand how to get a girl to run after you.
- What will repel her?
- 1. Self-doubt
- 2. Inability to express emotions and feelings
- 3. Lack of communication skills
- 4. Egocentrism
- 5. Lack of respect for other people
- 6. Unmotivated aggression
- 7. Lack of sense of humor
- 8. Low intellectual level
- 9. Lack of purpose
- 10. Excessive exactingness
- 11. Infantilism
- 12. Pathological laziness
- 13. The presence of addictions
- 14. Unhealthy jealousy
- 15. Obsession
- 16. Lack of hobbies
- 17. Absent-mindedness and lack of punctuality
- 18. Greed
- 19. Lack of desire for good earnings
- 20. Repulsive appearance
- What will attract her?
- 1. Develop adequate self-esteem
- 2. Learn emotional openness
- 3. Practice skills communication
- 4. Offer help
- 5. Show respect
- 6. Earn trust
- 7. Learn self-control
- 8. Develop intelligence and sense of humor
- 9. Set yourself goal
- 10. Learn to be a leader
- 11. Start a healthy lifestyle
- 12 Stop being jealous and controlling
- 13. Give up obsession
- 14. Find a passion or hobby
- 15. Be punctual and collected
- 16. Show signs of attention
- 17. Strive for more earnings
- 18. Watch your appearance
- 19. Get better in sex
- 20. Keep your dignity
What will push her away?
First, get rid of the attitude that there will be “the one” who will accept you by anyone and will herself seek your attention.
Second, look at 20 reasons why most girls avoid guys:
Perhaps this is the main thing that repels girls. This includes:
- Fears (rejection, loneliness, mistakes). Everyone is afraid of something. This is fine. However, social fears prevent you from behaving confidently and building strong relationships. Fear of rejection makes you very intrusive or, conversely, too independent. If you are afraid of loneliness, then you are hardly selective in dating. You will want to get along with anyone who reciprocates. And the fear of making mistakes can be a serious barrier to dating.
- Low self-esteem. How do people with extremely low self-esteem behave? They stoop, mumble (or are completely silent), do not look into the eyes, fuss, "everything falls out of their hands." “This is not about me,” you say. Maybe you're right. But keep in mind that self-esteem is a flexible thing. If you do not use your own talents, do not apply the acquired skills, and also begin to indulge the "dark sides" of your character, self-esteem will gradually decrease.
Also, you can pretend to be confident. But girls on an intuitive level will see and feel it. Most of them will try to avoid close contact with an insecure guy.
2. Inability to express emotions and feelings
It would seem that only women need the skill of expressing emotions, and not you, a brutal harsh man. It's a delusion. Silence and coldness can become an obstacle to rapprochement. Therefore, emotionally unavailable guys are more likely to repel than attract.
3. Lack of communication skills
Sociability is the ability to easily establish contacts, flexibility in communication, the ability to carry on a conversation with any person. If you do not know how to communicate, then you are unlikely to be interested in an attractive girl.
If you are fixated on yourself, you can attract a certain circle of women. But still, most of the girls will begin to annoy your egocentrism. Not everyone is ready to live in the interests of another person.
5. Lack of respect for other people
If you are constantly rude, rude, behave impudently with others, then you will cause hostility among girls. Only an unfortunate and sacrificial woman will endure such behavior.
6. Unmotivated aggression
Yes, you are a “hunter” and a “getter”, aggression is inherent in you by nature. However, sometimes it can go beyond. If you get annoyed over trifles, throw objects at the wall, raise your voice at a girl, and even worse, raise your hand against her... a self-respecting woman will run away from you very quickly and will be right.
7. Lack of sense of humor
How do you get a girl to run after you if you don't understand jokes and don't know how to joke yourself? No way. Women don't like boring and boring guys.
8. Low intellectual level
Another extremely unattractive quality for girls is ignorance and stupidity. Without an average or high IQ, you will not be able to get the attention of interesting and beautiful girls. And that's exactly what you need, right?
9. Lack of purpose
Think about it, would you yourself like a woman who lives “like grass”? After all, life without dreams, goals and aspirations is meaningless. Moreover, it is a path to depression and despair.
10. Excessive demands
Are you prone to frequent nit-picking, do you want to change something in a girl, do you see only flaws in her? Believe me, excessive demands will scare your chosen one at the very beginning of the relationship.
A very small number of girls dream of becoming your second "mother". Lack of independence, capriciousness, irresponsibility - these are the qualities that most women do not want to see in men.
12. Pathological laziness
Do you feel like making efforts to do something around the house, find a decent job, too lazy to go somewhere? Do you really think that a lazy man has a queue of girls? You probably understand how absurd this is.
13. Presence of addictions
Of course, there are women who enter into unhealthy relationships with drug addicts and alcoholics. And what's more, they really run after them. If you have an addiction problem, think about it. Do you really want to live like this? After all, the rest of the female half of humanity keeps away from dependent guys.
14. Unhealthy jealousy
Naturally, it is important for you how the girl you like lives. It's normal to occasionally be jealous of other men. The main thing is to keep calm. Jealousy becomes pathological if you constantly monitor it, forbid it to wear certain clothes, insist on refusing to communicate with friends. No adequate girl will tolerate such behavior for a long time.
Think about how to make a girl run after you if you run after her yourself? Do you write to her every half an hour, call her several times a day, wait for her at work, meet her at home? At best, she will lose interest in you after a while. And at worst: she will change her phone number and block you in all messengers.
16. Lack of hobbies
Has your life turned into a routine: from home to work, from work straight home? And there is no time for hobbies. You may not even have found the right hobby. We need to change something. Understand, many women are repelled by uninteresting couch potatoes.
17. Absent-mindedness and lack of punctuality
Not a single woman will like it if you are constantly late, “flying in the clouds”, thinking about questions for a long time. Girls do not like uncomposed and terribly slow guys.
No, it's not about expensive gifts or paying all her bills. Girls are repelled by greed in small things: you feel sorry for the money for ordinary pleasant surprises, you don’t see the point in spending money on flowers, you don’t even want to pay for ice cream or chocolate.
19. Lack of desire for good earnings
Of course, we are not talking about billions. But you should not blame women for commercialism if your salary is only enough for food and a communal apartment. Think about it, are you tired of living on a penny yourself?
20. Repulsive appearance
Do you want charming and slim women running after you? Then think about whether you have any of the following: untidiness, disheveled hair, the “aroma” of an unwashed body, repulsive breath, overweight, dirty and wrinkled clothes, shabby shoes?.. This list can be continued, but the point is you understood. Will you attract at least one beauty in this image?
So, there are many reasons why you can push a girl away from you. Perhaps you saw yourself in some paragraphs. And it's good that you honestly admitted it to yourself. After all, only in this way you can develop the best features in yourself. Now take a look at the psychological recommendations to understand how to make a girl run after you.
What will attract her?
If you persevere in following the following tips, the flow of female attention to your personality will never dry up:
1. Develop adequate self-esteem
Understand that high self-esteem should be something backed up. Get real knowledge and learn how to apply it in practice. The sense of self-worth also increases in the process of developing positive character traits. For feedback, for constructive criticism, contact authoritative people. After working on self-esteem, you will become noticeable and attractive.
2. Learn emotional openness
Emotional openness is not a weakness, as is commonly believed. On the contrary, mature, confident and courageous people have this ability. To be “open” means:
- to understand one's own desires and feelings and speak directly about them;
- to recognize the emotions and needs of others and be able to reflect them in the correct form;
- have the skill of empathy, i.e. be able to empathize.
How do you develop these skills, you ask? Work on your own powers of observation, read psychological books about emotions, watch and analyze films, go to group trainings.
3. Practice communication skills
What you need to do to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex:
- when talking, see in her eyes;
- listen carefully, don't get distracted or interrupt;
- observe intonations, gestures and facial expressions, analyze her behavior;
- note her real virtues, praise, compliment her;
- if she needs support, try to understand her feelings and find words of encouragement;
- use only reliable information in a conversation;
- only say what is relevant to the topic under discussion;
- state your thoughts in sequence;
- be polite and kind;
- ask clarifying questions;
- Watch the time: don't talk too long.
These techniques will help you learn to be flexible and pleasant to talk to.
4. Offer help
Even if the girl is strong and independent, she will still be pleased to accept help from you. Maybe you understand technology, construction, or know how to repair furniture? In general, first show how you can be useful. Then she will contact you herself. You will become irreplaceable.
5. Show respect
What is “respect”? This means, first of all, the observance of other people's psychological boundaries. That is, you must learn to appreciate the personal space of a girl, in no case be rude to her, respond normally to refusals, try to understand her.
6. Earn trust
No, it's not the same as "ingratiating yourself." You're not a scammer. Everything should be real: be sincere in words and deeds, do not be afraid to talk about personal topics. She should feel that she is safe next to you, and you will not betray her.
7. Learn self-control
Learn to control your negative emotions. Angry? Shout in the forest, be alone with yourself and beat the pillow, tear the paper. Do you often feel uncontrollable anger? Go to a psychologist, there is nothing to worry about. The main thing is not to throw out aggression on the girl.
8. Develop intelligence and sense of humor
The smarter you are, the sharper and subtler your jokes. Girls are very attracted to charming and smart men, who also know how to joke well. What should you do to develop your intellect:
- read fiction books and analyze them;
- study scientific research;
- watch documentaries, art films;
- solve puzzles and mathematical problems, play chess;
- develop memory (for example, you can learn poetry);
- go to theaters and museums;
- travel, study other people's cultural characteristics.
In general, get as much valuable information as possible. You will become much more interesting and smarter, at the same time you will learn to joke well. The entire female half of humanity will definitely be impressed by a conversation with you.
9. Set a goal for yourself
You ask, how do you get a girl to run after you like that? Very simple: the more interesting your plans, which she will know about, the more attractive you will look in her eyes. Just remember that the goal must be realistic and achievable. And don't stop at one. The more aspirations you have, the better.
10. Learn to be a leader
This means being self-sufficient, proactive and determined. Leaders can be different: tyrants, including. It is still recommended to choose a democratic strategy. You must learn to make decisions on your own, but at the same time take into account women's opinion.
11. Start to lead a healthy lifestyle
If you are not a supporter of a healthy lifestyle, then it's time to start being one. What does this mean? No matter how hard it is, stop smoking, drink less alcohol, go in for sports, eat healthy food. You will start to look much better, a positive attitude will appear. No girl will definitely miss such a guy.
12. Stop being jealous and controlling
Instead of fighting, remember to control yourself, exhale and pause. Figure out if there is a real reason for jealousy? If there is, talk to your lady openly. If not, keep working on your self-esteem.
13. Give up obsession
Emotional dependence on a girl will lead to the fact that she will run away, and you will catch up. Start to control your impulses: write and call infrequently and on business, do not give up everything to meet her. In order for her to run after you, you need to be a little detached from the relationship. Just do not forget about her: if you stop communicating with her and dating, she will leave your life.
14. Find a passion or hobby
Hobbies can be anything, as long as you are really interested. Having a hobby will make life brighter, which means you will be attractive to a female.
15. Be punctual and collected
It's simple: don't be late and don't fuss. Prepare for meetings in advance, start a diary, plan your day, get enough sleep, go out early. Women appreciate punctual, collected and organized men.
16. Show signs of attention
The only condition is that everything should be in moderation. Do not overwhelm her with soft toys and unnecessary trinkets. Get to know her interests and occasionally give gifts that she might like.
17. Strive for more income
Women need financial stability, so they are more likely to reach out to successful men. Find your favorite thing. If you go to a well-paid job, like hard labor, it will affect your mood.
18. Watch your appearance
Figure out what you would like to say with your appearance? Then create an image for yourself and start sticking to it. This applies to hairstyles, selection of clothes, shoes and accessories. The main thing is that you look presentable and neat. Otherwise, everything is trite: train your muscles, take care of your skin and oral hygiene, wash yourself twice a day, use perfume.
19. Get better at sex
After sex, girls tend to become emotionally attached to a partner. But don't think that all women need the same thing in bed. Ask her what she likes and what she doesn't. And remember that touch and caress play a huge role. After you show yourself to be a good lover, she will herself seek a repetition of meetings.
20. Keep your dignity
The relationship is over and you still hope for something? Do you write, call, send gifts, wait on the street, jealous of everyone? From the outside it looks like weakness and despair. Instead of trying to return the former, take care of yourself, work on mistakes, make new acquaintances. Who knows, maybe she will want to come back, and she will run after you.
Now you understand how to make a girl run after you. As you can see, the main thing that is required of you is to comprehensively develop as a person. No need to put on a mask of a confident person. Any woman will feel the catch. It is important to maintain a balance: be yourself, but at the same time improve. You have become successful, but a particular girl still does not look in your direction? Maybe it's not about you, but about her. There could be many reasons for her to behave this way. Besides, you don't like everyone, do you? Learn to accept failures calmly, leave women the right to choose. Do not stop in development, and soon there will be one that will look for a meeting with you.