Many men do not quite correctly imagine what a future wife should look like. The main qualities of an ideal companion are not beauty, breast size and sexual emancipation. Wise advice for choosing a girlfriend for life.
How to choose a wife?
The other day in the bath, the men touched on the topic of choosing a future wife. And since our team consisted of people of different generations, the dialogue, without unnecessary preludes, passed into the stage of beating babies.
Those who were about thirty made their rating as follows. The future wife should be:
1. Beautiful in face (to get up every morning to admire her features).2. Leggy. Like, short-legged women look like a Yorkshire terrier, mince like cockroaches. Shame is total. 3. Chest of the third size (two plus are allowed). It is on such a chest that it is comfortable to sleep, and it is this volume that fits well into the overworked hands of a hipster or a creakle. 4. Good education. Preferably institutes of St. Petersburg or Moscow. 5. From a good, intelligent family. 6. Lead a healthy lifestyle. 7. Sexually liberated.
Such an approach in an adult peasant cannot cause anything but Homeric laughter. And here's what we came up with in response.
The potential spouse must be:
1. Silent. As our ancestors, the Slavs-Aryans and Finno-Ugric peoples, said: the word is silver, the silence is gold. It's better if she's dumb. Or at least stutter a lot, especially when worried. Silence in the family is the main condition for marital happiness.
2. Rich. Thanks to the feminists, men and women are equal now. If a girl is from a rich family, then firstly, she is greedy and will not allow herself to squander the family budget. And secondly, the main financial burden of shopping and luxury goods will fall on the shoulders of her father.
3. Be able to cook well. Yes, office plankton and effective managers like to eat in cafes and fast food restaurants, earning by the age of thirty-five, in addition to scoliosis and flat feet, stomach ulcers. They are unaware that such a gadget as a wife has the most useful skill - cooking delicious and healthy food: dumplings, steaks with blood, pancakes, potato pancakes, jelly, sour cabbage soup, pies and other yummy.
4. Do not mind drinking and smoking. Imagine that after a hard shift at the machine you return home late in the evening and buy a bottle of vodka in the store. Here's a question for you to fill the pioneers: who will support the company? Yes, you could call Petya, but he has high blood pressure and is being treated for hypertension. Vasya has a stomach ulcer and does not drink anything stronger than lemonade. Seryoga will not let go of his rabid fury. Vitka drunk. There is only one option left - to drink with his wife, vigilantly making sure that she does not drink more than two glasses, because after a shift, a normal guy needs about 400 grams to restore mental harmony.
5. Short-legged. Babs with long legs were artificially bred like hounds. Only those hunt for hares, and these for lop-eared peasants. In harsh everyday conditions, in a fight with wolves or goats, such a breed is absolutely useless. The girl must be lopsided and short-legged. She must stand firmly on her feet and give birth to children in the same way that our great-grandmothers gave birth. Women with such forms, according to a study by British scientists, love sex, in its traditional and non-traditional form.
6. Breast size is not of fundamental importance because plastic surgery in this area has achieved significant results. Therefore, in agreement with your spouse, you can choose a chest of any size. As the old-timers say: there are never too many boobs. At this point, the dignity should rather be considered the desire to breastfeed the child, as much as recommended by doctors and science.
7. Beauty is the last criterion by which one should choose a wife. We would even say that the word "beauty" is synonymous with the word "danger". Have you seen any crazy people catching cabbage butterflies? But there are more than enough people who want to plant a swallowtail butterfly on a jade rod.
That is, if you want to decorate your head with antlers more beautiful than those of a reindeer, maybe you should take care to marry one of the current long-legged, busty and lipped predator models, but if you are a supporter of a strong family - marry a girl with six previous virtues.
And do not forget what our glorious ancestors of the Tatar-Mongols said: you need to marry beautiful people only in order to get rid of your wife as soon as possible.