Carter Lowe Creator, entrepreneur, and self-care advocate
Reading time: 15 min

How to become an interesting person, attractive to society

Many people often blend in with their surroundings. They seem smart, without catastrophic “cockroaches” in their heads, and they don’t particularly pull on a maniac. But for some reason, they never pay attention. A kind of "gray mice", banal and uninteresting to society. You've probably seen people like this around you. But there is also a complete opposite to them - magnet people who attract literally everyone who is lucky enough to talk to them into their networks.

These personalities are always surrounded by a halo of popularity and even a slight mystery. After all, what interest can there be when you are all like an open book with spoilers in the table of contents. Do you secretly dream of being at least a little like such people? Then catch a manual that exhaustively answers the question of how to become an interesting person. So let's go.

Jakob Owens, Unsplash

1. Books are your best friends

Just don't roll your eyes at him and snort contemptuously. Do you think that only money and its uncontrolled spending can cause interest? But I didn't guess. It has long been unfashionable to shine with a credit iPhone and ride on my father's foreign car. Let's just say it has become an obsessive mainstream. But a rich vocabulary and erudition is something new. This is not often seen in a modern society obsessed with cheap show-offs.

The main advantage of reading a variety of books is a sharp tongue and the ability to respond with cunning sarcasm to almost any verbal attack from a less intelligent opponent. “The fool himself” is vulgar and trite. But a swirling answer can introduce the interlocutor into a lexical stupor. Smart girls will definitely appreciate it too. So you may well become not just an interesting person, but also an extremely attractive man in the eyes of the fair sex.

Intellectual conversation is what always captures the attention of the environment. Where do you get knowledge about different topics? Of course, in books and narrowly focused articles. Be interested in everything at once. Historical justification for the cost of oil? Fine! The most eccentric artists of our time? Great choice! What is the clinical picture of a person's schizophrenic disorder? Yes, just great! Believe me, smart people will definitely appreciate it. And why do you confess fools?

A well-read and diversified person always arouses interest. At a minimum, people around are wondering what he does in life, that he has such a rich store of knowledge. In addition, communication with smart personalities allows you to establish useful social contacts and acquaintances that will surely come in handy in the future.

Before my very eyes, one acquaintance, for whom the glory of an inveterate vocational school student has long and firmly entrenched, got a chic position, tritely supporting a specific conversation in the right company. Why? Yes, he was simply interested in his awareness and non-trivial knowledge. So be sure to take this advice to heart.

Kinga Cichewicz, Unsplash

2. Take up an unusual hobby

Still don't know how to become an interesting person? In fact, everything is quite simple. It is enough to acquire hobbies not like everyone else. Are other friends connoisseurs of light unfiltered? Well, learn to collect rare geological materials. And be sure to mention it in the conversation. Important note! It has to be, not to seem. Get carried away with something really, and not just in words. Then no one will convict you of pretense.

Do not assume that hobbies are divided by gender. Believe me, there are girls who are amazingly versed in high-tech hardware, as well as guys who have learned zen in the field of design, say, kitchens. The main thing is that the new hobby is to your liking, and also goes beyond the ordinary. The more original your hobby, the more interesting you yourself will be for others.

In addition, you can easily make new friends among the fans of your addiction. Sometimes it is in a narrow circle that the strongest hierarchy of its members is formed. You will be able to become for them that very bright and extraordinary personality if you go headlong into your chosen hobby.

Sean Delshadi, Unsplash

3. Change your social circle

One way or another, but the environment necessarily affects a person. If you realize that you have become a boring office plankton that no one notices, it is time to take urgent action. How about new friends who you want to be equal not only in the number of overturned glasses, but also in IQ level?

Try to surround yourself with bright and non-trivial personalities. As a rule, they subconsciously force others to develop in the right direction and only get better. With such acquaintances, you yourself will soon turn into an interesting person whom everyone around dreams of meeting.


Do not forget that such comrades need to comply. So, read the first paragraph. Develop, be interested in everything new and unusual, be able to keep up the conversation and enrich your vocabulary. In a word, try to be at least a little more original than the kitchen bench. Otherwise, your limit is gatherings with neighbors in the stairwell in sweatpants with outstretched knees. The outlook is so-so, to be honest.

Manny Moreno, Unsplash

4. Learn to be a good storyteller.

Do you remember that very friend who, although he looked unprepossessing, always managed to capture everyone's attention even against your muscular and pretty background? Surely he knew how to tell interesting and exciting stories in a cool way. To do this, you do not need to have the appearance of Schwarzenegger and the charisma of Depp. It is enough to have a suspended tongue and competently work with it (hussars, be silent!).

So, how to become an interesting person? To begin with, understand what people are saying, whom everyone is listening to, literally with their mouths open. More importantly, remember exactly how they communicate. Bright rich speech, an exciting plot that affects everyone, intrigue and an explosive denouement - this is the constant basis for a sparkling story.

It is good if the story is personal, for example, from the army past or childhood. By the way, most people enjoy listening to stories from adolescence, when the sun was brighter, the grass was greener, and the neighbor's apples were tastier, but the butt hurt from the salt (well, you get the idea).

Avoid parasitic phrases that prevent listeners from achieving auditory orgasm. These small nasty interjections poison the speech and do not allow to catch the whole point of the story. Do you want to know how to acquire a rich vocabulary? Guess which paragraph of this article you need to master again? That's right, the first one. I'm sorry, friend, but the harsh reality is this. Arm yourself with reading glasses.

Speak clearly, clearly, consistently and do not let others interrupt you. Otherwise, you will show yourself as a weak storyteller, who is not even interesting to listen to. And don't be afraid to grab the attention of the crowd. Do you want to figure out how to be an interesting person? Then learn to be firm in your desires. Have a great story that will definitely become a hit of the evening? Then what are you waiting for?

Juan Martin Lopez, Unsplash

5. Know how to listen to your interlocutor

This is another no less important point in my instruction. Today there are more than enough fans to chat. But there are not so many good listeners. If you learn not only to ignore the words of the interlocutor and secretly yawn into the palm of your hand, but to show that his words are not indifferent, the attention of others will quickly begin to belong only to such a magnificent opponent.

Be aware of non-verbal cues. Do not cover yourself from the speaker with your arms crossed over your chest and do not hide your palms in your pockets. The best way to demonstrate your interest and willingness to listen carefully is if you lean slightly towards your comrade and slightly shake your head in time with his speech. Do not forget also to return to the interlocutor his words. Speak passages from phrases, finish the sentence with him, repeat the last thing he said. All this will make it clear to the listener that you are interested in him.

Never interrupt a person who is speaking. Firstly, it is a sign of bad taste and bad upbringing. Secondly, they will quickly lose interest in you. Wait for the interlocutor to take a short pause and take a breath.

It would be nice to ask a couple of clarifying questions after the story. This will prove to everyone present that you really heard and perceived what your opponent was saying. In the end, it would be nice to share your own opinion about what you heard, give advice if necessary, or give a personal example from life.

Shlomi Platzman, Unsplash

6. Cultivate a good sense of humor in yourself

Do you like surly people with an eternally dissatisfied poker face? I don't think so. Here and surrounded by such comrades are not particularly favored. An interesting personality is, first of all, a person with a good sense of humor, who adequately perceives jokes and knows how to make fun of the topic himself. Here are some tips on how to become an interesting person for almost any company:

  • Forget about "toilet" humor and jokes "below the belt." Such jokes are appropriate only in a narrow circle of old friends who always have their own atmosphere. Strangers you barely know will not appreciate it.
  • Do not convulsively recall all the issues of "Crooked Mirror" and "Full House". Such humor is already considered outdated and inappropriate in modern circles. Yes, and it can hardly be called a model of high-quality jokes. The exception is the case when there is a need to interest interlocutors born in the same year as Petrosyan himself.
  • Use real life stories. Remembering a funny incident that actually happened to you, you can very well relieve tension in an unfamiliar company and win over people. In addition, there is no need to invent anything supernatural and get confused in "testimony". The humor is light and casual.
  • Don't start a story if you're not sure you remember the ending exactly. A blurry joke is a bad helper in this matter. This obviously will not make the interlocutors interested in you.
  • A good option is purely professional humor. If in your environment there are people who are united by one specialty, you can safely joke about its specifics and features. And this approach will make it clear that you are well versed in their profession. It will also add interest to the humble person.
  • Don't forget about black humor. You think only jokes about butterflies and unicorns farting rainbows are appropriate? Now is not the time to put on rose-colored glasses. Sometimes a sparkling joke, smeared with blood and guts, evokes much more vivid emotions than standard slick carbon-copy jokes. This I have not yet touched on the humor of doctors. That's where the blackness is impenetrable. By the way, successful jokes with a dark motive can cause serious interest in relation to you. Now it is fashionable and helps to stand out from all the “white coats”.

I don't want to end this paragraph without mentioning the next feature. Do you know how to get almost any girl into bed? Make her laugh. I hope, of course, not the size of the "farm".

Gaspar Manuel Zaldo, Unsplash

and just an interesting person, do not remain an insensitive chump. Loud and contagious laughter, active gestures, rich facial expressions - this is what will help turn even a banal story into a real "delicious" masterpiece for listeners.

Genuine emotions win people over. And not everyone can afford to be open and sensual. Such people really cause genuine interest in society. Don't be afraid to look like a fool. Remember that the gray mice are still lost and smeared against the background of such active livestock.

Shlomi Platzman, Unsplash

8. Live brightly and interestingly

Pretty logical advice, I think. When a person exists on the principle of home-work-home, he is unlikely to be able to evoke emotions in anyone other than pity or sympathy. In this mode, it is unlikely that there will be at least one more or less interesting story that can capture the attention of the interlocutor. So you have to reconsider your own views on life.

An interesting life speaks for itself. Such a person does not even need to speak in person and tell something. It is constantly being discussed. Get a tarantula. Jump with a parachute. Throw a super party, and when the neighbors call the police, take a walk with law enforcement officers. Yes, just, damn it, start somehow different from the office plankton. This will be a real feat.

If such radical methods of changing the usual routine of life do not attract you and even scare you a little, start small. Take a fresh look at your lair. Maybe it's time to start designing it? Photos of unusual interior solutions such as a toilet bowl on the ceiling (I'm kidding, don't rush to smash your bathroom with a crowbar) and shelves in the form of Spider-Man's head always arouse great interest from Internet users.

Remember that, first of all, you need to start doing something that is not included in the plans of a standard person. Ordinary is not attractive. You need something that will make the public talk about you and arouse sincere interest. Well, let's go, pick out the toilet?

Manny Moreno, Unsplash

9. Be unpredictable

Try to be more spontaneous. Suddenly invite your friends to go skiing for the weekend in Sochi. Gather a party on the roof of a high-rise building. Called the lady of the heart to the cinema? And bring to the planetarium for a romantic evening for two. And don't forget to share it on social media. Everyone else should know about the awl between your half-bottoms.

And in general, sometimes indulging your desires is not bad at all. People who follow the call of the heart, live freely and do not hesitate to do what they like, always arouse interest.

Gian Cescon, Unsplash

10. Do good

This is what singer Shura bequeathed to us. Kindness is attractive. People who help others, devote time to volunteering, and do charity work will certainly be of interest to society. Now this is especially encouraged by the environment.

Start small:

  • sort the trash;
  • dispose of batteries properly (take them to stores that accept them);
  • put things in order in the house and head;
  • feed orphan animals in the cold season (yes, in any, in principle);
  • Take your unwanted old bowls, pots and blankets to a nursery (trust me, they will thank you there);
  • help a lonely neighbor fix something;
  • Adopt a kitten from the street, and then put it in good hands.

As you can see, I'm not talking about generous financial injections here. You don't need a lot of money to be kind. Such people are always interesting to others. Life is difficult now, many have become stale. Kindness stands out and attracts those around you. They will definitely become interested in you if, instead of consumerism and selfishness, cordiality and sincerity come to the fore. No, I'm not crying, just a mote got on the lens.

Leio McLaren, Unsplash

11. Change your appearance

Bright people are always unusual and attractive. Do you want to know how to become an interesting person? Yes, at least change your appearance to a more daring one. Finally, dye your hair green, shave your temples, update your wardrobe. After all, most people live like this, never turning their teenage fantasies into reality.

Do you think you will look stupid or have problems with work? First, your task is to interest the environment. And a brave person with an unusual appearance will always be at the peak of attention. Secondly, why not, in fact, change a boring and monotonous profession at the same time? Sometimes a new image literally opens a person's eyes and allows you to take a step towards your dream.

Are tattoos, piercings and colored eyebrows not for you? How about a fresh range of clothes? Engage the environment with a non-trivial style and combination Bold experiments with everyday bows are a safe way to become the subject of heated debate and discussion. Surely many will want to know why you look that way and not otherwise. An informal hobby? A protest of the dullness of society? Maybe he just discovered his own fashion? Let them ask and find out.

Valerie Elash, Unsplash

Most people remain gray and inconspicuous all their lives. Fearing to attract attention, you unconsciously join their ranks and merge with the crowd. Such personalities, as a rule, do not stand out in any way and do not grab the stars from the sky. If you want to have interesting connections, a circle of friends and a vibrant life instead of a banal existence, start, first of all, with yourself. The rest will follow by itself.