How to become a man? Instructions for real men

Surely every guy at least once in his life asked this insidious question: can I call myself a real man? But really, when does the very moment come when the boy turns into an adult and independent brutal? And, in the end, who even came up with the criteria for that very “maleness”, according to which the stronger sex proudly calls itself men?

There are really a lot of questions and all of them are close to rhetorical. However, there are several signs that a recent boy, to whom his mother straightened a ridiculous hat, has finally left his parental nest and proudly spread his strengthened eagle wings. Having studied this aspect in more detail, I decided to answer the sacred question: how to become a man? Instructions for real men will be posted below.

1. Learn to stand up for yourself and others

I'm not talking about constant fights now. Bullies have never been held in high esteem. They were not so much respected as usually simply feared. Mindless fist-waving does not require adulthood. But the ability to defend your property, punish the offender and protect your girlfriend from hooligans - this is an act worthy of a real man. Note that I do not call for everyone who looks crookedly at you or a companion in a short skirt to blizzard.

In order to keep yourself in good physical shape and competently strike, it is necessary to attend classes with a coach. You can choose any martial art to which the soul lies. Before paying a tidy sum for a new hobby, be sure to familiarize yourself first with the features of this sport. Some options are designed specifically for combat, while others, on the contrary, are aimed at high-quality defense. Ideally, it would be good to learn both.

Do not listen to compassionate grandmothers and aunts, who will surely begin to dissuade you from a new, in their opinion, dangerous occupation. There will definitely be at least one female relative lamenting that there the child’s nose will be broken, her legs pulled out and generally killed in the very first lesson. But chess and ballet are things. I don’t want to offend the adherents of these hobbies, but a real man simply must be able to take a hit. So show character and do at least once what you need specifically, and not granny.

Train with a professional who knows the business like the back of his hand (or four, depending on the number of real fights of this coach). Only a true specialist will help you acquire the skills of hand-to-hand confrontation and self-defense. Even if it seems to you that Uncle Vasya from the next entrance fights very cool when he drinks a couple of glasses of white, he definitely won’t be able to teach the basics of combat. Real athletes put such fighters on the shoulder blades with one blow.

Don't expect fantastic results from the first session. Seriously, it doesn't work like that. Do you want to know how to become a man? The instruction for real men says that soon only cats will be born. But to outgrow childhood in the soul and the fifth point is not so simple. Even if you don’t have Jackie Chan skills in the first month of classes, you obviously shouldn’t worry. You will notice the result in the very first brawl, when you easily put a block on a fist flying in the nose.

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increased. It is very easy to fan out your fingers and roll out your chest with a wheel. It does not require, in fact, brains and social skills. It is much more difficult to resolve the dispute on a peaceful note, just like proving to the opponent that he is wrong without the use of physical force.

I agree, not every individual is ready for a constructive dialogue. Sometimes it's much easier to defend your opinion by punching you in the head. But that obviously doesn't do you credit. Try to get involved in a fight only as a last resort, when it is clear that the opponent is clearly behaving aggressively, provoking and running into rudeness.

To know exactly how to conduct a dialogue in a given stressful situation, take a couple of explanatory courses. They are even on the Internet. Consult older men whom you respect and can trust. However, there are also several pitfalls here, since it is far from age that makes a person smart and independent. If a friend advises not to wait for the opponent's reaction, but to always strike first and for any reason, it is better not to take such an opinion seriously.

Remember, a grown man never starts a fight himself. Only in the most extreme case. He must be able to communicate with people, prove his point of view and defend his own opinion without the use of physical force. Even if the outcome of such a fight is clearly in your favor.

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3. Gain confidence and overcome childish complexes

What could be worse than a man who is embarrassed even by himself? Perhaps nothing. It's time to finally get out of the cocoon as a self-confident brutal butterfly. All these childhood complexes need to be left behind growing up and accept your personality as it is in real time.

Remember that each person is interesting and attractive in his own way. And everyone has their little flaws. It is for them, in fact, that they love, since we are talking about individuality. You have red hair and freckles, so it looks like the girls are chuckling behind your back? Or are you embarrassed by your lop-eared ears and do your best to hide them behind your hats even indoors? Stop trying to become like some elusive ideal. Just be yourself.


Look in the mirror often and tell yourself that you are good-looking. Yes, let him have a potato nose (as a child he rode a bicycle and didn’t notice the pole), but beautiful piercing eyes. Every scar is a story. Any minor inaccuracy in appearance is a highlight. You're really good looking, you just can't appreciate it from the outside yet. But others see only an interesting personality.

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? Instructions for real men turned out to be incomplete if this advice were absent. An adult always has his own opinion and personal view of the world, as well as everything that happens in it. And often it needs to be defended. If you always follow the lead of society, there is a risk of completely dissolving in the crowd, completely forgetting about personal needs.

Do not allow yourself to agree with what does not resonate in your soul. You are not obliged to unconditionally accept someone else's opinion and use it as a course for life. Of course, defending your right to independence is sometimes extremely difficult. And in this case, all the laurels go to the most persistent person, fiercely devoted to his thinking.

Remember that it is perfectly normal to have different views on something. As they say, how many people, so many opinions. This is not a crime and is not a violation of someone's personal boundaries. Rather, it is about defending one's own. Even if they start accusing you of being stubborn. Not all people can come to terms with the fact that someone sees life differently than they do.

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5. Learn to take responsibility

Do you know what is the first difference between an adult man and a teenager? He knows how to answer for every spoken word and perfect action. Sometimes you want to throw your paws up and chirp: "It's not me!". But such an act does not adorn a self-sufficient person. So we take off the diaper and urgently grow up.

Give value to your words. They must be strictly monitored, so do not promise what is unrealistic to deliver. Be responsible for every letter that comes out of your mouth. Only such a man will be respected by others and loved by women.

By the way, a few words about the ladies. If you get into a relationship, you will have to be responsible not only for yourself. Believe me, every girl wants to hear that you are ready to solve the problem yourself, and not create a new one out of nothing. Moreover, as Sasha Bely bequeathed, it would also be nice to perceive its difficulties as personal ones. Because your woman is a big responsibility.

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in any conditions. But for this it is necessary to develop immunity to various stresses and psychological shocks. Because a hysterical man is a sad and extremely pitiful sight.

Got your boss at work? Believe me, the scandal will be inappropriate here. But competent dialogue without psychos, exclamations and obscenities is what the doctor ordered. Well, in extreme cases, Roma the Beast taught to leave beautifully. Only silently, with dignity and without scandal. By the way, nasty things also need to be finally done quietly and with a proudly raised head.

Does your girlfriend annoy you (he got fat, can't buy the thing he likes, girlfriend is a bastard, burned her hair, PMS, the moon is in Taurus, a needle in an egg, etc.)? Don't be like hysterical ladies. Hug and calm down. You can throw a chocolate bar into it or a wallet. But yelling in a duet and breaking dishes is not the best option. Don't know how to become a man? The instruction for real men says that first of all you need to learn calmness. You are a flint, a pillar of serenity and a bulwark of stern strength. But don't be hysterical, it's important.

Whatever happens in life, do not take everything so personally that you lose control of yourself. An adult man evokes respect and envy for his stress resistance. A screeching and spitting guy is perceived by others as an exceptionally capricious child.

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water rushes to the ceiling, threatening, as in a joke, to flood the neighbors from above. And around this sudden fountain, a boy rushes in a panic, not knowing what to grab onto and what gods to pray for everything to resolve itself miraculously. Does the image inspire respect in you? So don't be like that.

At a minimum, it is necessary to acquire a basic set of knowledge on what to do in the event of an accident at home. Even if you have never been a plumber at all, knowing where and how to turn off the water is simply vital. Next, you can call the wizard.

In general, an adult man is characterized not only by his resourcefulness, but also by straight arms growing from the right place. Consider that we are talking about basic survival skills in this difficult world. If a woman is sure that next to such a male it is quite possible to sleep peacefully and not worry that in the event of any breakdown he will not faint, consider that you have conquered her once and for all.

In any case, how are you going to start a family, or at least a couple, if you don’t even know how to hammer a nail into a wall. It's time to grow out of short children's pants and occupy the niche of a responsible and handy male, capable of sharpening kitchen knives and screwing screws into concrete with just a stern look.

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8. Learn to say no

Trust me, turning someone down isn't a crime. There is no need to feel deep guilt or remorse for this. Just say no and walk off into the sunset. Otherwise, people will consider you too soft-bodied and will openly use reliability. To sit on our necks is generally easy.

An adult man knows how to filter help from impudence. If you can’t or don’t want to do something, you don’t need to make excuses or somehow comment on your refusal. An adequate opponent will never be offended by this, since anyone has personal boundaries and the right not to take on something that is not to their liking.

You need to refuse gently, but clearly and confidently, so that the interlocutor understands that you are not breaking down like a girl, but really giving an answer. Don't mumble like "maybe", "I'll think about it", "I'll tell you later", etc. Just no. Sometimes this is difficult to do, since a person is strongly attached to the assessment from society. What if they think badly of me? You are a man. You have grown. Well, they think it's okay. You will still need to ask for help. So pull yourself together and shake off the comfortably nestled freeloaders from your neck.

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9. Appreciate your parents, but don't become a sissy

It's a very fine line. We are all taught from childhood to respect our elders, not to argue with them, and in general to see in each of them the navel of the earth. But you want to know how to become a man? Instructions for real men necessarily contain a paragraph about relationships with parents and painful attachment to them, which you should definitely root out.

Yes, a mother needs to be loved, appreciated and respected. She should help with the housework, and sometimes listen to advice. She definitely loves you. But sometimes this feeling gets out of control and turns into real schizophrenia. Believe me, no matter how much you love your mother, she should not dictate to you how to live. And even more so, do not let the parent choose friends and women. Otherwise, you will exist all your life under her skirt. But the son is nearby, to the delight of his mother.

Know how to refuse even your parents and do not let them divide and rule in your destiny. Don't be afraid to make your own mistakes. Even if you got involved with “the wrong girl,” according to the mother, a real Jedi must go this way on his own. Otherwise, everything will be blamed solely on someone else. It is quite possible that mom considers you just an ideal, so she doesn’t see a single more or less earthly lady nearby. But you yourself perfectly understand how it can turn out, right?

A real man loves and appreciates his mother, but in the family he decides all personal issues exclusively by himself. This is especially true of relations with his wife. You have to live with her, not your mother, after all.

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10. Don't be afraid to work

White-handed boys have now bred in some incredible numbers. There are several signs of such an immature boy that will definitely prevent you from becoming a real man:

  • believes that doing something around the house is exclusively a woman's responsibility;
  • does not know where utility bills come from and what to do with them;
  • tries to find a job with more money and less stress (everyone probably dreams of this, but the reality is harsh);
  • refuses a promising position and promotion, so that the volume of affairs and the demand from his beloved does not increase;
  • always content with little, as long as they don't touch it once again;
  • considers every woman to be mercenary, since she clearly encroaches on his male salary of 22 thousand wooden ones (he hasn’t worn out his skates, so to speak, to claim sandals, such a bastard);
  • does not respect other people's work and considers all other positions to be nonsense;
  • out of principle will not go to some simple job that requires physical labor, even sitting at home for a whole year.

If you do not want to look like an infantile boy in the eyes of others all your life, learn to appreciate and respect any work. Grab the opportunity to make a career and do not be afraid of responsibility (remember the first Spider-Man film).

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11. Prove only to yourself

This is not about your own opinion or outlook on life. I mean, your destiny is not a flashy talk show with a bunch of viewers behind the glass. Do not try to splurge on others to appear cooler. It doesn't work that way. If you want to be seen as a real man - become one in reality. Prove to yourself that you are. You don't have to play in public.

Think of serious men who built an entire business empire or became the head of a large corporation. They are not trying to prove anything to anyone. Most of them dress very simply, use standard dialers rather than iPhones bought on credit with their last money. They value simplicity and efficiency. Look up to them, and not to friends who change their fifth job in the last month, but at the same time brandishing a credit gadget worth more than 100 thousand rubles.

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So how do you become a real man? A thick beard and pumped-up muscles will not help you if a capricious spoiled child, unsuitable for an adult existence, still lives inside. You need to change from within and clearly follow your principles. Grow up, my friend, and good luck to you!