How to become a good person: tips on how to become kinder and better

The question of how to become a good person is relevant for many people. This is good, because in our world there is less and less kindness every day. After all, in order to become kinder and more cordial to other people, you need to work very seriously on yourself and you need to change not only your behavior, but also treat life differently. Only then will you be able to really show kindness to other people.

Let's think about how to become kinder, better and more attentive to others.

What is a good person?

Before becoming good, warm and kind, you first need to understand what a good person is in general. Maybe this is someone who never wishes anything bad to anyone? Or maybe this is someone who wants good only for himself and for his family?

In fact, both the former and the latter are wrong. Being a so-called saint, a whipping boy, is illogical and wrong. Also, if you drown only for yourself and your family, then you also make a mistake, because there are a lot of good people around, maybe even better than you.

There are some tricks and traps in the very concept of goodness. For example, in the universe there is evil and good. Without the first, there would be no other. If you want to become better, kinder, then move in the direction from evil. That is, change your attitude towards people to a more positive one, act in the same way towards yourself. Do something good, don't think about it.

Also, kindness is very often selfish. That is, you did something good, and you expect to be praised. But this is a big mistake. As big as reproaching yourself in front of everyone. Try to get rid of it. Take care of yourself and don't expect someone to reward you for your good deeds.

You need to be good first of all, for yourself. Also, good people always talk about what they did or are going to do good. Is it so? Maybe in some cases yes, but in general it looks a little selfish. So try to do good without expecting gratitude.

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The first steps to becoming a good person

1. For starters, just go ahead and forget your past if it was bad. It can really prevent you from changing for the better. If you've made a lot of mistakes, just admit them and let them go. Focus on the future. Clear your mind to such an extent that only good things remain in it. You can try to do this with the help of a specialist, he will help you ask yourself the right questions;

2. You will also need to get rid of bad habits. The fact is that bad people are those who show aggression, climb on the rampage, deceive, think only of themselves and do bad things for others. If you notice that you are doing something like this, then at the same time correct yourself and act differently. If you want to respond with a foul language, try either to remain silent, or to answer unexpectedly politely. If someone tells you about his life, and you are incredibly bored, try to get into position and still listen to the person. Yes, such things can be very difficult to do, especially if you are not used to behaving like that, but how else can you become a good person if you do not work on yourself every day, every hour?

3. Also try to ignore the negative. It’s difficult, but at least try not to communicate with those people who blow your mind, swear, constantly whine and blame others or you for everything that doesn’t work out in their life. In addition, unsubscribe from all news channels that talk about bad things, and do not spoil your mood, and also do not give rise to fear and negativity in yourself.

4. Watch as many good and kind films as possible, read good literature, and associate with people who make you want to be better. Do something interesting, something that calms you down so that you can be in a state of mental balance and positivity.

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Do not pretend that nothing happened if you offended a person

First you need to learn to admit your mistakes. Yes, it's hard. But to become really kinder, you need to learn to ask for forgiveness if you behaved wrong.

If you notice that you have done something that has a very negative impact on other people, if they are terribly upset, then there is a possibility that you have acted badly towards them.


You can write the situation separately on a piece of paper and think about how you behaved and how it could be perceived by another person. Perhaps you had a motive, but if it brought negativity to another person, then maybe you still need to reconsider your priorities. Put yourself in the place of your victim and try to understand her.

Most often, people behave incorrectly and cruelly towards others when they are in an altered state: they are afraid, anxious, or in a state of aggression, and so on.

It can be admitted that such states are not an excuse at all, they only prove that you cannot cope with your emotions. But you are hardly three years old, you are an adult and must be responsible for your words and deeds.

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Learn to apologize

an opportunity to atone conditionally for "one's sin". You can ask for forgiveness in writing or orally. If it is important for you to maintain a relationship with this person in the future, then you will probably come to him personally and apologize, looking into his eyes.

If this is just an acquaintance, then still try to apologize, because after all, doing the right thing brings relief. If you quarreled and both are to blame, then it is better to apologize first. Let it become a habit, because if you are too proud, then it will not lead to anything good if you are really wrong.

If you are right, then in some cases it is not necessary to apologize first. But if your relationship is more important to you than yourself, then draw your own conclusions. You need to learn to forgive others.

If you were offended, it is not necessary to procrastinate this situation in your head and be angry endlessly. The fact is that everyone has their own vision of the situation. And at the same time, a person may not realize that you need to apologize. He may not even realize that he somehow offended you. If he understands, then this is already good, but if not, then you simply do not need to communicate with such people.

Learn selflessness and it will help you become a better person

How to become a good person if you are too selfish? Still, you should try to treat people the way you want them to treat you. No need to openly use a person.

Start small: try to offer someone your help without demanding anything in return. Do anything that you would never have done before. And at the same time, you don’t have to think about what they will give you for it. Spend your time on things that are not related to your interests and you. Don't try to cash in on anyone. Perhaps it will come back to you a hundredfold.

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Pay more attention to other people

Be compassionate, do it sincerely, learn to listen and hear others. How to become a good person if you do not like to communicate with others?

Try to learn to empathize, to put yourself in the place of another person. If someone tells you some incident from life, then try to imagine all this as if the events are happening to you. This is how empathy can be learned. Not immediately, of course, but over time, yes. Try to analyze the feelings that arise when you communicate with another person.

At the same time, it is very important to trust people and do it selflessly, because otherwise you will not be able to build close relationships. No need to look for a catch everywhere, no need to draw conclusions, rummaging through the minds of others and not asking what they really think.

It is unlikely that you really know these people. Perhaps your thoughts about them are wrong, and you think about it, you wind yourself up and set yourself up for aggression, because of which you will break out on others. Why do this when you can expect nothing from others and just enjoy the conversation?

You need to allow yourself to feel

It's not just about avoiding bad feelings. You can feel anything without fear of being punished for those emotions. Feelings are not your enemies, this is what helps you understand yourself. They are not always under our control. If you don't let them out, they won't go anywhere. You will only be dissatisfied with life and, possibly, acquire chronic diseases. Every time you feel annoyed, you need to ask yourself a question, for example:

  • What should I do?
  • What do I feel now?

Close your eyes and think about what your feeling looks like now. Try to describe it colorfully and give it an outlet. The most important thing is to give him an outlet without focusing on the other person. You must be able to express and splash out your emotions on your own, without involving other people. If you want to scream, then go somewhere alone and scream, if you want to cry, then cry to yourself, but do not take out your anger on others.

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Live by the principle that you reap what you sow

In ancient times, our ancestors did not just say such words. For example, in Hinduism there is a concept called karma. And the essence of karma is that we always pay for our actions.

If we think about how to become a good person and try to do good and kind for others, then as a result in the next incarnation we will be someone who will do well.

If we discard religious motives, then there is the same positive psychology that appeals to the fact that all the negative will attract the negative, and if we think positively, then we will receive only positive in our life.

Yes, it is easy to understand the principle of such a psychology, but it is very difficult to put it into practice. Our happiness really depends on us. To become good, it is unacceptable to show aggression towards loved ones. Is that understandable? Aggression is only a sign of insecurity and even infringement, but this will not help build good relationships. If you are used to being grateful, caring and friendly, then the people who are close to you will strive to continue to communicate. After all, it's nice to be with you. You bring happiness. And this is logical, no one wants to contact aggressive people.

But if you are too kind to everyone, then this is also a minus. Simply because they can use it for their own purposes and ride on you. Therefore, you need to find a middle ground.

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Let's look at 10 ways to find good things in yourself and bring this goodness into your life and the lives of loved ones.

1. Proper upbringing. Some parents brought up from childhood, instilling beautiful manners. But think about how sincerely you are polite and kind to others. If you are lying, sensitive people will recognize it. Try to keep all good manners from the heart.

2. Helping other people. This principle is quite simple. After all, when you help someone, you can expect support in return. And also, if you act together, you will most likely make friends. In addition, the support of others relieves stress. For example, children who help others are academically successful.

3. Little joys. You know what your mother loves, your father, your girlfriend loves. And at the same time, you can do something nice for them. If you can remember someone else not only for the holiday, then he will be grateful to you. Your good deeds will serve as an answer to the question of how to become a good person

4. Selflessness. In general, if you are kind, it is even better for you than if you are permanently evil. Simply because aggression and anger are stressful for the body. Treating others well is what distinguishes a mentally healthy person. Many good people are pleased that they do good things for no reason.

5. The ability to forgive. Forgiving others is good. It may be easier for you to do this if you imagine that others forgive you too. It is clear that no one wants to admit their mistakes and feel guilty, but everyone makes mistakes, and yet it is better when you know how to forgive and you are also willingly forgiven in return.

6. Feeling right. All of us understand that kindness is right. If someone shows aggression, then few people perceive him as a right and good person. Yes, you can make anyone angry, but still, behaving decently and making the lives of others more comfortable, we feel more correct and not breaking the law.

7. Health benefits. If you are a warm-hearted person, then you will have much less health problems. In general, cordiality is about the heart, about its health, and positive emotions dilate blood vessels, and the level of our lymphocytes also rises. And these cells are responsible for our immunity. In addition, if we are in a good mood, then we produce endorphins, and as you know, these are hormones of joy, and they reduce pain and can calm us down.

8. Absence of indifference. When we are angry, we are usually indifferent to our opponent. And there is little good and useful in this. We are moving away, but we are already alone in the world. Why hide from others? Everyone needs people, and if we are kind to others, we will have more friends and feel better about ourselves. It's nicer to be open to the world. This way you can meet amazing and good people who can set an example for you on how to become a good person.

9. Feeling of security. How to become a good person? In general, good is the absence of danger and threat. If we do something good, then we surround ourselves with a kind of cocoon of goodness, and others have no reason to hurt us. In the circle of your friends, where everyone treats you well, you can feel protected. And it's incredibly important.

10. The cycle of good. If you do good to others, you will attract him to you, and your life will become much better. The most important thing is that you do not get distracted by the negative, trying to feel good feelings longer.

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Joy from the very process of life

If you ask how to become a good person, but you cannot to enjoy life, then it is unlikely that you will succeed. Usually people have a lot of reasons to suffer, and it is too difficult for them to rejoice. Not everyone has a good and kind disposition. But how important it is to actually have a reason, however simple, to have fun and become kinder.

What could it be?

1. Good weather. In general, very few people enjoy the sun. We must learn to notice this, and even enjoy the snow and rain. There is an expression that nature has no bad weather. Maybe we should agree with this, and not complain about another dank and gray day.

2. Delicious food. Many of us want to lose weight, someone wants to gain weight, but in the end, all this comes to the fact that we forget about the very essence of food, namely, filling our body with energy. At the same time, you can enjoy eating, and not reproach yourself if you ate something harmful. It’s just better to add something healthy and tasty at the same time to your diet every day.

3. Fragrances. Take a look around, there are so many pleasant smells in the street. focus on exactly what you like: morning coffee, New Year's smell of tangerines, your favorite perfume.

4. Pets. This helps not only to become kind, but also calms the psyche. When our everyday life is filled with stress, it is very useful to come home and observe the carelessness of pets.

5. Favorite music. Sounds have a huge impact on our psyche. If you like the sound, then your mood will change for the better. Try to notice the pleasant sounds around you.

6. Films and books. Very often, a bad evening can be brightened up with a good movie or reading a book. Interesting stories help to find a piece of kindness in yourself, and even improve your relationships with loved ones.

7. Friends and loved ones. Who else can support us better than beloved friends? Or for you, that person could be your girlfriend. Relationships go through various stages, but still it cannot be ruled out that in most cases close people will support you and this kindness towards you will make you kinder.

8. Healthy sleep. It is unlikely that you will be kind if you do not get enough sleep before this. After all, sleep greatly affects our mood. Try to go to bed on time every day and get enough sleep. Then you will be more likely to show consideration and kindness to others.

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Advice for those who want to become good. What to strive for?

1. Try to do something nice for other people every day. Let this be your habit. Perhaps you will come to work and help your colleague, and in return she will do something good for you. Just remember, you don't have to wait. On another day, take part of your breakfast from home and feed the animal. That is, do at least a minimum of kindness towards others every day.

2. Try to regularly, at least once a month, transfer your money to charity. The goal can be anything. Perhaps you want to support a person who is battling a serious illness, or maybe you want to help save an animal species. Anything, as long as you're not indifferent.

3. Develop the empathy skills mentioned above. Try to empathize with others, or at least start by sorting out the feelings of the characters in your favorite TV shows.

4. Leave behind all religious, racial, national prejudice and do not think about it when you want to do something good for others. We are all of the same blood, we are all inhabitants of the same planet. Help others and don't look for reasons to refuse.

5. No need to focus on other people's shortcomings. We all make mistakes. The ability to ignore this at the right time and treat one's neighbor like a human being distinguishes a good person from a bad one.

6. Learn to love. And to love not just one person, not only your woman and children, for example. Love your country, your city, your planet. Love people in the broadest sense of the word, and then you may not ask the question: “How to become a good person,” because you will be one, and it will come naturally to you.

By the way, it will be useful to know that people love us not because we are good or bad. They love us for the benefit that we can bring to others. Unconditional love is only a mother to a child, and then not always. Other people usually expect something useful from us. Try, but above all, for yourself. And then you will be able to become kinder to yourself, to others and be proud of yourself.