How to be not like that

What to do if you suddenly want to stand out from the gray mass and become unique, original, special and interesting?

Such desires sometimes visit many people, but the roots of these desires lie in self-doubt, the habit of relying on others and feeding on their approval. Let's try to figure out what is going on in a person's head when he wants so much to be different from the rest.

Why are you doing this?

First, ask yourself: why do I need to be different and why do I want to stand out? Why do I think I don't stand out now?

Perhaps your problem is that you are not confident in yourself and think that you need some external “principles” to attract attention. Many, without representing anything special, choose flashy clothes, behave defiantly and openly fool around.

But the whole point is that nothing will help if you can only attract with appearance. Remember Steve Jobs, who conquered the world of information technology in his invariable black turtleneck.

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Be interesting to yourself

If you don't, you won't be able to impress others. Ask yourself: what do I attract myself with? What can I do that others can't? Can you at least tell interesting stories? Try to read more good books. For example, at least these:

1. "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption" (Stephen King). A stunningly interesting and exciting novel about patience, willpower, mutual assistance and true friendship. This book, and especially its film adaptation, has turned the world and relationships upside down in the minds of many people. The Shawshank Redemption became a classic of world cinema and is one of the highest rated films to this day;

2. "Schindler's List" (Thomas Keneally). The true and heartbreaking story of a man who saved more than a thousand people from a terrible death has become a classic that is immortalized in the film of the same name. These pages will not leave indifferent any person who has a heart;

3. Peaceful Warrior (Dan Millman). This athlete and writer shared a unique story of his formation and recovery from injury thanks to his extraordinary fortitude. The story of overcoming and searching for one's spiritual path, which was also filmed, instills in many people faith in their strength and sets them up for victory. She will definitely show you how to be different from everyone else;

4. "Star Butterfly" (Bernard Werber). The novel takes place on a unique spaceship called the Star Butterfly. This is a book about unlocking potential, and also about the fact that any dream can become a reality if you yourself want it and make enough efforts to realize it;

5. "Internal Engineering" by Sadhguru. This amazing book is about self-improvement, the science of living in harmony with yourself and the world around you. It's actually about building yourself brick by brick. If you want to become healthier in mind and body, then try to follow the advice of the sage, and you will notice how much we pass by ourselves, how much we do not take into account and how little we listen to our intuition. The opinion of Sadhguru, the enlightened sage, about the spiritual and material world is largely based on a sense of beauty and reflection on the true nature of things.

These and many other good books will give you a solid foundation for communicating with other people and forming your own opinion, way of thinking. A book can replace a person's friend in a difficult situation, never betray and make you deep and interesting to others.

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Make big plans and make them come true.

It is very important not only to dream, but also to do. So you learn to overcome difficulties, yourself and get out of really difficult situations. The desire to share plans with others is also of great importance, so you can enlist the support of loved ones, and this helps to speed up the realization of your cherished desires. Keep in mind that when you have a lot of interesting ideas in your head, people around you will be drawn to you, you can even do nothing especially for this.

The greats of this world gathered around themselves a lot of henchmen not through flashy jacket colors or unusual hairstyles, they were inspired by ideas. They did not think how to be different from everyone else, their thoughts stretched beyond the boundaries of what was permitted.

Who do you want to impress?


If it's a girl, then find out what she likes, ask her friends about her tastes, preferences and be guided by this. And if you just want to please everyone, then leave this idea, you are not a gold coin.

Everyone likes it, and, not understanding what exactly they mean, weak people want it. The ones who are constantly suffering. Moreover, they suffer from some external causes, not trying to change something in themselves. They say that they were not loved, they were unlucky, they were badly deceived, etc. And if they suddenly see someone successful, they believe that he was just very lucky, or his parents were rich, or his friends “warmed up”.

It is because of the envy of other people that you may not develop anything in life. Thus, you will only drive yourself into misfortune and you will weaken, trying to prove something to others, having lost everything important that you had, for example, childish spontaneity. All your mental anguish and desire to be different from everyone else come only from your weakness. Specifically, it is a habit to constantly seek support from others, and not from oneself. It is also about the fact that you want someone else's approval, and you depend on it.

If you have a lot of energy and stop blaming everyone around you for not getting attention, then you will be attractive and charming. This is the answer to the question of how to be different from everyone else, because usually the state, parents and lovers are to blame for everyone's problems. Do you notice that most of these dissatisfied people?

Your personality must be strong, and only then you will attract people to you, even start earning more, because you will fully take responsibility for your life.

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How to find support in yourself and not depend on the opinions of others?

To begin with, learn to rely only on yourself and no one else. Don't think about dad's money, mom's connections, otherwise you'll never learn to be somebody. Make yourself truly responsible for your well-being.

The fact is that most people live somehow, stagger back and forth like restless people, and their thoughts, like their bodies sometimes, only crawl in different directions, without having strong guidelines. Personality is a kind of frame that collects all parts of the body and energy, providing strength and giving charm.

A self-sufficient person has good self-respect and developed personal boundaries. How to process them?

  • Stop yourself when you want to make a claim;
  • Note that your grievances do not need to be expressed to others;
  • Do not draw approval from people;
  • Do not think that you are a king to whom everything is possible and everyone is obliged.

Understand that the people around you are on their own and you cannot control them, even if it seems to you that this is not so. If you really want to be different from everyone else and stand out from the crowd, do what you want, but within the bounds of decency. And if they do not react the way you need, this does not mean that they are bad. Maybe they are just busy with themselves.

Remember that an apology is waiting for those offended in life, and those who are used to asking are waiting for handouts. Do you know why? Because he is sure that everyone owes him. That the people must obey. Due to inflated self-esteem, you may think that you control others and your desires can somehow influence them. But look at your real possibilities. You sit and think how to be different from everyone else. You want to be better, sure. What can you. But why doesn't it work then? After all, if it worked, you would not ask such a question.

Pay attention to what you can do to yourself. See what you can really control.

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How to stop regretting that others are not your slaves?

People often complain that others do not notice them, do not want to recognize their greatness. But this is all because they themselves do not want to rely on themselves. But they really want to take something from others. But here's the catch - others will not give you anything, except perhaps a little. Do you have to jump out of your pants hoping for the approval of strangers?

Here, for example, you are waiting for someone to give you money. What for? Don't you want to go and earn that money yourself? But here's what happens: you think that your expectations will be successful, and if you go to work and take over everything, then no one will ever help you. The more impudent and stupid you are, the more it seems to you that you have the right to other people's benefits, including approval. Understand that your uniqueness lies in the fact that you can be independent. Just admit your little importance to others and stop trying to get something from them.

Do you know that each person is the most important for himself? Even if it's your girlfriend or wife. She may love you very much, but she will put herself first and be right. And you want to please others, trying to be different from everyone else. These are completely different people. It is very strange if you naively believe that you have at least some value for them.

Modesty is a really good helper. And in the hope only for oneself there is no cruelty at all. This is normal, and if you don’t think so, then you will have to work out your infantilism.

Just imagine, a stranger wants to impress you. He put on bright clothes and attracts attention in every way. However, he is not interested in you. Why do you think you can be special? Need? Now you understand that you need to focus on specific people?

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All the roots of problems from childhood

What happened in your childhood that now you are trying to interest others and wonder question: how to be not like everyone else?

In childhood, parents instill useful skills in the child, take care of him excessively, but they forget about the very backbone of the personality. Only now he must independently motivate himself to study, cope with boredom and negativity, solve problems, and not put it entirely on the shoulders of his parents. Because later, when he becomes a teenager, it turns out that he himself cannot do anything and does not want to. Such people become exactly those who complain about life, say that it makes no sense and they are all too lazy. He wants approval, and unconditional. Guys often take the path of theft and acquire bad habits.

And when something doesn't add up, he blames, of course, his parents. He attributes his lack of confidence and desire to become unique to the fact that his parents did not take care of him enough and praised him enough. Only now it is impossible to give a person self-confidence from the outside. If you don’t know how to control yourself, there will always be something missing.

How to be different for a girl?

What to do to interest a girl so that she singles you out from the crowd of suitors?

Guys always fail in love for the same reasons: high self-importance, zero empathy and activity, lack of strategy and constant drawing of love.

Usually, guys behave like this: when they see that she is not particularly attracted to them, they do not try to interest them, or thoughtlessly flood them with gifts. This does not arouse interest in them, but only in gifts.

And you need to act differently than everyone else. This is what makes you stand out. Arouse interest in yourself, your body, voice, touch. For example, if you called for a date, and she referred to being busy, then understand that this is normal and she is not obliged to run to you. Then learn to reduce its significance for you, but do not forget about it, but just get down to work. When it's date time, make it memorable for her. Then you will be different from others, and next time she will agree more readily.

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Regarding mutual understanding: understand that you are unlikely to immediately become close and similar. If you sit and tell a girl about how good you are, without taking into account her tastes and interests, then you will not be very different from the same narcissists. At the same time, if she tells you about the relationship of souls, then rather then she adapts to you and raises self-esteem. This will cause her to move away. Because true love cannot survive without reciprocity. Please note that if you really like to communicate, but she no longer, it means that you could not interest her.

The theme of sex is also important. To become different, you have to make sure that she likes sex as much as you do. If you notice that she praises you, but in fact does not respond to affection, then it is unlikely that she is so good with you. But do not try to ask her for instructions on what and how to do with her in order to satisfy her. Think for yourself, otherwise you will just lose your sexuality in trying to boringly figure out something like: “tell me, tell me, where can I find the G-spot? What to rub and where to caress to please you? If you really want to ask, then talk in a veiled way, just on the topic of sex, the girl will definitely share what she likes. So you guess. If you manage to please her, then she will not go anywhere.

If a girl does not want to live with you, and you want to stand out and achieve this, then try to stop littering in the apartment, learn how to wash the dishes, buy beautiful linen and make the house cozy. After all, otherwise she imagines how you will move in together, and she will do everything, because you don’t know how or don’t want to do such things. A man who knows how and loves to take care of himself and his home will be appreciated by his woman. And if you just wait and think about how to be different from everyone else, then you will never get anything.

How to become visible to everyone?

You are special. Just because you exist. But if all that has been said is not enough for you, and working on yourself only tires you, then make yourself “super-unique” - a real freak who cannot imagine his life without other people's exclamations.


  • Let's start from the top. Iroquois of a poisonous color will do. Lenses with pupils like those of a cat or a snake, and blue dye can be poured into the whites of the eyes;
  • Piercing all over the body, scarring, tattoos, something like a “sleeve”, but on the whole body;
  • You can remove a few ribs for an unusual figure, or, conversely, upgrade to the state of a constricted doctor's sausage;
  • Paint your nails, wear heels of your choice.

Attention guaranteed. But why do you need such attention?

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How do you go from weak to strong?

How to become yourself? That unique self who can attract exactly those who are needed, and not just anyone?

1. Stop blaming your failures on your parents and other relatives. Look for a leader in yourself and nurture it yourself;

2. Let self-control be your father, and adequate self-esteem be your mother;

3. Understand that if you do not understand how to behave with others and spread yourself trying to please everyone at once, then this is only about your weakness of will. Working with it will help;

4. Do not try to lean on anyone and impress. Think how bad it is to be a parasite;

5. Develop the habit of working on your own independence and become your own master, start enjoying this work.

In this way, and only in this way, will you become independent and self-confident. You will stop trying to stand out from the crowd, because you will clearly realize that you are not like everyone else. And when you are sure of something, then there is no need to prove it to everyone.

The desire to stand out can be understandable, because everyone wants to feel significant. The most important thing, however, is not to bother and know that you are unique from birth. A combination of genes, selected from billions of options, gave birth to you, and that's wonderful. You will definitely find your people who will be interesting without outrageousness, without big words, without unnecessary husks. Just believe that it is so and work on yourself constantly.