Two very different relationship stories. How men face difficulties, infidelity and misunderstanding in relationships. Everyone chooses for himself who he should be: a goat or a man.
Oh, how many times have I heard the phrase “All men are goats”! Many acquaintances cried, I heard snippets of phrases in transport and stories of girlfriends about themselves and their girlfriends and girlfriends of their girlfriends... But I was not like that. Yes, as in Slepakov's song - "they are all like that, they are all like that, but I'm not like that!". He was an ordinary teenager, with brains, but the appearance of a scumbag. Pimply, but kind and with an open heart. Of course, there was unrequited love at school. Of course, many communicated with me only in those cases when they needed something from me. But then the school ended and it was replaced by the university and work - adulthood. I rented an apartment, began to go to the gym, ceased to be a jerk, and youthful acne is almost gone. There were girls, but nothing serious. And everything is the same again - fix the computer, go to the cinema, cry. To transfer parting with someone before new acquaintances. That was until I met her. Twisted, twisted. They dated for a long time and got married. A child appeared. Everything seemed to be fine - work, family. Yes, family life is a constant compromise. Often you have to give up something or work hard.
I cook well, I earn not bad money - not much, but enough for life and rest. There's really nothing to complain about. Good relations with her relatives, friends. Everything is like everyone else. I never cheated, didn't even look to the left. Although in my work I often communicate with young girls and at corporate parties more than once I had the opportunity to go and continue to hang out with some drunk, cheerful and beautiful girl - without any obligations later.
But that was exactly until I burned it in one small incident. In order to make sure that I was wrong, I got into contact with her and read the correspondence with my friend - and, to put it mildly, ah @ ate. It turned out that all 6 years she was cheating on me. For reliability, I did a DNA test - the child is not mine. Here he is - the genius of lies and disguise!
I freaked out and flew away for a month to another country, to move and digest it all. Just bought tickets from flew away. Flew to the capital of sex tourism. And you know what? I rented a prostitute for a week. She was kind, sweet. Every day she gave me a massage, showed me where there is delicious and cheap food, and in the evening, with an absolutely sincere smile, she entertained me as much as she could. It’s just the ideal of a girl - only she doesn’t need iPhones, but only 2500 rubles per day. The brain does not soar and does everything you ask.
Arriving home, I suddenly realized that I was not living correctly. If you are kind and sweet, they will wipe their feet on you, shit on you from the top shelf. No need to tell me that not everyone is like that and that there are kind and sweet people. Yes, there is, but this is more of an exception. And while you find them, you will get burned more than once. After reading a couple of books on NLP and brainstorming, I began to slowly change. If you do not let anyone into your heart, there will be no disappointments. I have set a few goals for myself that I want to achieve and what I want to do in my life.
Now I'm dating a nice girl. I don't love her, but whether she loves me is not important to me. It's like a pig, but I don't give a shit about it now. When they ask me to fix the computer, having come to friends of acquaintances or relatives, I say no. For it will not bring money, and talking about life is not interesting to me. But on the outside, I remained just as kind and sweet. Just with a heart of stone. And if tomorrow we part, I won't bat an eyelid. I will find another one like it. And I will cheat on her as soon as I have the opportunity - for the sake of my happiness. And you would never think, looking at me, that I am capable of such a thing.
And you know what? I became happy.
So that's what I'm all about. Girls, you yourself raise goats from us. And then you cry. You can’t live with such an attitude towards people that you have after these stupid programs about relationships on a zombie. You can't wipe your heels on people. You can't change left or right. Girls who know me for who I really am admit to cheating on their boyfriends. In general, according to statistics, about 10% (in different sources - in different ways, on average - about that) of men are not raising their own children. Just think about it!
Don't do that. I show you by personal example what this leads to. Take care while there is still someone.
Again, not everyone is like that, I know. But the majority.
Sorry if I hurt anyone.
How I became a worthy man
I read @axtungminy's post and somehow felt disgusted. What kind of people we will be - we determine ourselves and it is a pity that people sometimes choose this option. I do not see any honor, pride and dignity in the fact that a man behaves like a whore. Moreover, he flaunts it - look, I act like a whore with a dick and you know... I'm happy! Are you happy?..
The author of that post did not become stronger or smarter. He just ran away from the problems (which were in him too) and decided to take revenge on everyone. Exactly revenge! A person who experienced this moment in life, the moment of betrayal, never forgets it. And whenever he made a decision for himself to change, he remembered how the person who was cheated feels. Everything happens in life and everyone decides for himself how he should act. But you need to be honest with yourself and be able to admit to yourself that your actions are hardly worthy of respect. If this is really what a person needed for happiness, then this is at least sad...
In general, this is a popular topic on the portal - interpersonal relationships. What are girls, what are men, and who are good and who are stupid 🙂 I want to share my story and it is similar to the story of axtungminy.
I was 22 years old, at that time I had been dating a girl for more than 2 years and, probably, I was in love. Then there was a difficult period in my life, I see no reason to describe everything in detail, but the general situation was that there was almost no money, I was, one might say, depressed, I did not keep a number of my promises (in particular, to move in and live together) and the general my morale left much to be desired. At some point, I offered to leave and she agreed. After 2 days, I abruptly changed my mind and offered to get back together, but she refused. Then there were 3 long months when we no longer met, but continued to fuck, swear love to each other and torment each other. In fairness, I must say that I tortured both her and myself to a greater extent myself. I just furiously fucked her brains with or without reason. “Why didn’t you pick up the phone?”, “Why didn’t you call back?”, “Why didn’t you answer the message?”, “Why didn’t you comment on the funny VK picture that I sent you?!”, “Why do you go to bed so early, I because I want to talk!” All this was true, and I am horrified to remember that I really behaved this way.
The result was not long in coming. At some point, I noticed that her phone was running out of power too quickly and, for some reason, it was usually turned off at our meetings. Once he asked me to turn it on and show me the absence of a charge. And then there were tears, screams, classic hysteria and an honest confession - "men write to me, I flirt with them." Even now, after so many years, I remember that conversation and feel this vile feeling... She then assured me that the matter did not go beyond flirting via SMS and in general all this does not mean anything. But I still felt like I had been betrayed. And even now I think that I was betrayed then.
I must say that I never had problems with girls, there were many relationships, but the first, serious relationship ended in betrayal. It was a strong blow to my pride and attitude. A lot has changed then.
When I moved away from this, I began to think - how did it happen? It's convenient to say - yes, she's just a whore and live on, gently cherishing hatred for all the girls in the world in her heart. But this is hardly the way out. This is a good way to break your own psyche and make those who trust you unhappy, but this is hardly the way out.
I slowly began to analyze my mistakes, restore the picture of our relationship, tried to understand when everything went wrong. I don't think you're really interested in how I came up with the solution, but I formulated it as follows.
1. Do not be afraid of betrayal, do not take them too close to your heart, you just need to be the kind of person who does not change.
And it's not at all about giving the girl gifts, constantly praising her and admiring her every joint. In no case!
My rule has nothing to do with girls at all. You need to be a cool man for yourself! And here already everyone puts something of his own into this concept. I have my own image of an ideal man and I strive to match it. Practice shows that the image is successful.
Since then, I just strive to be a person who is worth respecting and who does not want to leave at all. Even for 1 night.
I love women and they are awesome with me. I am truly proud of this.
And now I can honestly say to myself - I'm happy. Without malice, revenge and other things that are stupid to waste our short life.
Something like this.