How girls like to meet, communicate, what they like in terms of the appearance of guys is a question that worries many, because girls are so mysterious and incomprehensible, but guys still want a romantic relationship, blah blah blah... In short, let's go right away to the point and without water, you did not come here for lengthy discussions about the relationship of the sexes.
Or TOP 10 tips on how not to be an unpleasant type, about which she will tell her friends about “damn, I met such a dodik yesterday.”
Tip one: keep your word
Yes, we go today with trump cards. Below you will read about such things as a neat and beautiful appearance, making compliments and all that, but in fact, perhaps the main thing that attracts absolutely any girl is the ability to keep her word.
Said - done. He said he would call back - he called back. He said that he would come at eight - he came exactly at eight, and not two hours later, when she had already washed off her makeup and complained about you to her friends. He said that you like the girl - you show signs of attention to her, and did not turn into a stump, forcing the girl to suffer in the unknown.
If you can’t keep your promise (well, you never know: your beloved granny is sick, the cat is giving birth, you need to remove the kitten from the tree) - call and warn, neither your tongue nor your male organs will wither from one (and British scientists even claim to increase). The girl will be pleased to know that you think about her and take care of her so that she does not wait and does not worry.
Keeping your word is basically a good quality in all areas of life, and it wins absolutely everyone over to you, from colleagues and employers to a partner and even your children, if you have or will have them.
And I do not like all these sexist clichés, but it is the ability to keep one's word that is associated with the image of a real man, do you agree with me? Wouldn’t you yourself be pleased with good reason, knowing for sure to yourself that this is true, to say “if I said, I will do it, I am a man of my word”?
Tip two: be a good conversationalist
There are three common mistakes guys make when talking to girls:
This is when such a dude came on a date and gives a fiery speech for two and a half hours about his achievements in life, where he studied, was baptized, got married, how he played Dota yesterday, how cool he can pump his characters, what an incredibly cool job he has, his exes are Jessica Alba and Angelina Jolie, he returned from Paris yesterday, by the way, he likes scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast, and a deep-fried filet mignon steak for dinner.
And the girl is sitting like that and thinking: “God, when this verbal diarrhea shuts up, why did I agree to this date at all, I need to call my girlfriend and implement plan B “I have a cat giving birth, okay, I ran.” You don’t have to do this, you came on a date with a girl, and not at a presentation of yourself, a loved one.
2. The second mistake: on the contrary, sit and be silent.
From shyness, from not knowing what to say, it doesn’t matter, in any case, the girl will feel uncomfortable: she will feel obliged to create an emotionally warm climate on a date, to fill this awkward void. Well, or, if a girl is a little more self-confident, then she will simply bury her face in the phone, and who needs it?
3. Arrange a date interview, as if you are an employee of the FBI, FSB and the organization from the "Men in Black" at the same time recruiting a new agent.
We'll talk more about this later, but first, just understand that turning a date into an interrogation like “age? weight? chest girth? Are you from a complete family? Provide a list of dishes that you know how to cook? The hunky guy in the Instagram photo is your ex? - this is not good, this is not a demonstration of your serious intentions, this is creepy, and the girl will run away from you, sparkling with her heels.
What to do, you ask? How do girls like to communicate?
Yes, everything is simple, in fact: look for the golden mean and focus on the girl. If she asks you, answer in detail and openly, do not be shy, do not get off with a monosyllabic “yes / no”, but when telling, watch if she is interested, and stop if you see that you have gone too far.
If she tells herself, listen, damn it, carefully, ask clarifying questions, express your opinion about the subject of discussion. It is beneficial for you from all sides: girls love the feeling “I am interesting to him as a person, cheers!”, Plus, from such stories you can get ideas for future dates or gifts.
Tip three: support.
You know, there are some guys to whom everything a girl says is wrong. Studying in a typically male specialty? Absolutely went there to lure men. Gamer? Engaged in posturing. Does she have Instagram? Avid for attention, not a single meal without a photo in Instagram. No Instagram? Retired from life. Likes cartoons? Infantile. Likes serious documentaries about science? Blue stocking. And so on and so forth. How do girls like this treatment? I'll give you a hint: I don't like it at all!
Catch a life hack. Ask her about her hobbies, give her an approving, warm reaction. “Cool, it must have been very difficult?”, “Wow, cool! Why do you like it?”, “Great, I like My little pony too!”.
If the passion is downright repulsive (well, you never know, maybe she likes pineapple pizza, jeez, ugh), then you have two options: either ask “Hmm, I don’t quite understand this … Can you explain why you love it?”, or if the rejection is too strong, and you feel that you can’t do without fiery discussions, say “It’s not very close to me, to be honest… Do you want to talk about something else?”
Profit, you're amazing!
Tip #4: Be smart but unobtrusive the door to the girl - you are engaged in vile harassment! But for most girls, such gestures are still mostly pleasant: hold the door, give the coat, push the chair back, and that's it. The main thing is not to impose.
"Most" does not mean "all the girls in the world", you may well meet a lady for whom this is strange and unpleasant, like "am I so helpless that I won't open the door myself?". Or you can just overdo it.
Therefore, if you notice that a girl is embarrassed to accept such signs of attention, and even more so if the girl directly asked you “Please don’t, I don’t like it” - just take it and stop. No need to prove anything, to convince of your best intentions and all that. Just say: “Sorry, I didn’t know, I won’t do it again.” Profit, you have already added +10 points to your adequacy and sympathy.
Tip five: appearance
It's not only guys who love eyes, and it's not only girls who have to bother with a thousand procedures grooming before a date to get the approval of the man you like. In addition, if you come on a date well-groomed, you will show that you care what the girl thinks of you. And it is very pleasant and disposes to you.
How do girls like a guy to look? The minimum program includes banal cleanliness. You must be clean, smell good, socks, underwear, shirt - everything is fresh, hair and teeth are clean, minty freshness blows from your mouth, beard, if you wear it, clean and trimmed, if you shave, then do not be too lazy to shave right before a date, clean nails.
Maximum Program: Take care of your body. You don’t have to be a “I don’t leave the gym, instead of brains, protein shakes” type of jock, but smartness, free movement, lack of breathlessness after minimal physical exertion is always nice.
It's also nice when a guy knows how to choose his own clothes. Everything is simple here: evaluate your appearance as impartially as possible and see what you can emphasize and what you should hide.
For example, you have beautiful hands with slightly protruding wreaths (the love of many girls, by the way) - roll up your sleeves, buy a couple of bracelets on your wrists. Or you have dark skin and dark hair - emphasize this with a white shirt, unbuttoned with a couple of buttons. Read style blogs, after all. Or ask your mom.
Tip six: don't lie
Even if you really like a girl and you're really afraid to push her away, and therefore in every possible way you adapt to it - do not, please. Sooner or later, the deception will be revealed, and it will be extremely, extremely unpleasant, believe me. No need to lie about your income - at first, it’s better not to talk about money at all if the girl is not the first to take the initiative in this regard.
Don't play around with money, especially if you don't have any: the girl will get the feeling that you are trying to buy her, or that you are narcissistic and secretly masturbate on your elegant Swiss watch.
Moreover, there is no need to lie about hobbies. Let's say you are a quiet, homely guy, and you happen to fall in love with a lighter girl who loves wild tourism and dreams of conquering Everest. Let's even assume that at first you can support her wild rhythm of life.
But then the truth will come to the surface, and both of you will be hurt: the girl - that she was deceived, you - that she is naturally dissatisfied with the real you, she was “beckoned” by others. Well, what's the point in that? Isn't it easier to immediately understand that you are not suitable for each other, and disperse until you have really become attached to your soul?
Tip Seven: Take the Initiative
"The less we love a woman, the more she likes us" - it is a myth. If you first indicate that a girl is interested in you romantically, and then you abruptly shut up and do not show any signs of attention, then the girl will feel uncomfortable, she will ask herself questions: “What is happening? Did I offend him in some way, did I do something wrong? He said he likes me!"
She will wait, be nervous, twitch - well, who needs it and why? Or she will just shrug her shoulders: she doesn’t write - well, okay, I have a bunch of other things to do. And either forget about you, or find a more persistent admirer. Do you need it? No, you don't need it.
What to do? Show initiative, but delicacy. That is, take the initiative, say compliments, invite on dates, let the girl know that you like her, that you miss her, that you want to see her and all that - but be able to hear the word “no”.
Alas, even if you are the most delicious ear of corn in the world, there will always be someone who simply hates corn, forgive me for this harsh truth. Therefore, if you were told "No, I'm not interested" - leave the girl behind, find yourself another one who likes you more.
Yes, it’s a shame, but this way you will quickly find a girl who you don’t have to run after - she herself will meet you halfway and wants to meet you; Plus, the girl who sent you off will remember you as an adequate and decently behaving fan. You have no idea how girls like it when a guy hears the word "no".
Are there any girls who are like “oh, urge me, “no” means “yes, but later”? Perhaps there are, although, in my opinion, these are stereotypes from button accordion jokes. But think for yourself: do you need this for a long-term relationship, if she cannot decide with the elementary question “do you want to go on a date” and directly say what she wants?
Tip Eight: Compliments and Gifts
There is only one rule: avoid templates.
Girls - I'll surprise you now - are all different, so there is no single answer to the question "how girls like it" does not exist. Someone loves roses, and someone saw them in a coffin, and she is allergic to flowers, and these stupid brooms annoy.
Compliments are not all appropriate either: imagine a girl telling you for three hours how she went to archaeological excavations as part of writing a dissertation, and after that you are like, “You know, you have such sweet lips, such eyes, so I would eat you all."
In addition to the fact that this is just a fierce cringe and immediately minus libido, this is simply inappropriate, because the girl was talking about something else, and you showed with your compliment to your lips and eyes that you see in her nothing more than a beautiful doll.
How to be? When it comes to compliments, it's important to be sincere. Do not memorize tons of templates from the Internet, but sincerely say what you liked about the girl. This is always clearly felt: when a guy honestly says what he likes in a girl, and when he voices jagged text. It is better to let the compliment be simple, but real. And in the topic, and not as above in the example with the dissertation.
In terms of gifts, focus on the girl. Do not hide behind patterns like "all girls love flowers, perfume, sweets and soft toys." Listen to what the girl is telling you. Did you mention that she goes hiking? Buy her warm knitted hiking socks or a cool thermos. Did you mention that you are a student? She will surely love this set of cute stationery.
Standard gifts, of course, can also be given, there are girls who like them - but if you literally see that she likes them. Well, for example, she will sigh “oh, how long ago I didn’t give flowers,” or you will see a whole collection of teddy bears in her room.
Tip nine: avoid mistakes to keep one's word, to be overly intrusive, or vice versa, overly cold) are approximately the following.
First, don't turn the date into an interview. There is no need to ask on the very first date how she relates to cooking and whether she agrees that the wife should wash her husband's feet and drink water. This is perceived as a consumer attitude, as if you are not looking for a girl, not a partner, and not even a wife, but a housekeeper, or even just a robot vacuum cleaner with a sex function.
Of course, discussing such questions as “do you want children”, “how do you see the distribution of finances, responsibilities and power in the family” is quite reasonable. But not on the very first dates, when you are just looking at each other. First dates should be easy and casual, and such questions are appropriate to raise when you both understand that the relationship is getting more serious, and you may want to become a family in the future.
Secondly, for the love of God, for the health of your second cousin grandma and all the cats in this world - not a word about the former. If a guy mentions his ex on the very first dates (it doesn’t matter in such a context, whether it was “a saint was a woman” or “how I survived with this vixen”) - for most girls this is immediately a stop signal and a marker that the guy has not yet unraveled with his previous relationships, which means that he will constantly compare her with the former. And this is unpleasant.
The same goes for comparisons with other girls in general. If you want to compliment her, do it, but not in the format “you are so good, but other girls...”. This, of course, will flatter her pride, but in general this is a warning symptom: now you like her, and she is the best, but you consider the rest of the girls not very good personalities. And what happens if you quarrel, and he doesn’t please you with something? Yep, that's the same.
Third, learn to hear "no." No means no. All point. You can at most once clarify whether “no” is for sure. And that's it. Yes, I'll say it again, because you have no idea how many guys don't hear this "no".
Fourth, don't force tactile contact on the girl. Especially on first dates. Do not violate her personal boundaries: you are still a completely unfamiliar man for her, and if you climb on the first date to hug and kiss, it can seriously scare her, because you never know what is on your mind.
Be guided by the behavior of the girl: if she first grabbed your arm - excellent, the first kiss on the cheek - even better, but do not overstep the bounds and always be ready to retreat as soon as she makes it clear that she is uncomfortable. This way you will make the girl feel that she is safe with you around, and this is very important for them.
Tip ten: relax and be yourself
Any relationship is an interaction of two people, two personalities, do you agree? There are no and cannot be any patterns here, just one person likes or dislikes another. Be an interesting person in your own right with interesting hobbies and a bright personality, be honest, open, adequate - and you won't need any additional dances with a tambourine to please the girls.