In the modern world, the consumer attitude towards people is especially strongly developed, when so many people try to use and deceive each other. Often people communicate, make friends and love out of self-interest, when they need something from you, and not because of some sincere feelings. As for relationships, more and more often a partner is chosen who earns more, who has real estate, a car, and so on. Paradise in the hut is long gone. But is it a consumer attitude? After all, a relationship is an exchange, otherwise there is simply no relationship.
Let's think today about how to understand that you are being used, and not loved or friends? Let's look at options for how to stop using other people and stop using yourself, as well as how to distinguish one from the other.
- What is consumer attitude towards people?
- Love relationships and exchanges
- The use of a man by a woman usually looks like this
- The use of a woman
- What to do if a child shows a consumer attitude towards people
- Why is a consumer attitude towards people and life such a big problem?
- How to understand that you are being used?
- When your own relatives take advantage of you
- How to survive in this world of consumption?
What is consumer attitude towards people?
Now this issue is especially acute, and this applies not only to commodity-money relations, but also to emotions and communication. People officially began to earn more and think that they can afford more, including buying other people. Of course, buying is not in the truest sense of the word, but the essence remains the same. We are making more money, and now there are many opportunities to spend it, the market for services related to emotions is also growing, and now, for example, it is very easy to buy sex for money without a relationship and not only that.
Now there are more and more collectors, and if something is broken in your house, then you do not run to fix it, but are more likely to throw it away and get yourself something new. The same is true for people around them. One story comes to mind that when an old man was asked how he managed to live so long with his wife, he replied that before broken things were not thrown away, but repaired. Perhaps now the meaning of this phrase becomes clearer.
Of course, the consumer attitude towards things can still be experienced, because they are created for us to use them, but the consumer attitude towards people is a much more serious problem, because people are increasingly turning to specialists for help and complaining that they feel like a used thing.
Consumer people use others as if they were household items, and they do not care at all what the other person feels, nor do they give anything in return. It's like a relationship between a victim and a tyrant. Adequate people try to end such relationships as quickly as possible, but not everyone has the strength and courage to do so.
Very often people, especially women, live with such consumers all their lives because they are afraid or simply tolerate for some reason. There can be many reasons: for the sake of children, for money, and so on. But the worst thing, of course, is when a woman endures because she is afraid of reprisals.
Love relationships and interchange
When you fall in love with a woman and you start a relationship, it is quite obvious that you want something from each other: love, mutual understanding, respect, care, prosperity. There is nothing wrong with this and, as mentioned above, relationships are an exchange. This is absolutely normal and even necessary if you want your relationship to last for a long time.
Consumer attitude towards people is not about healthy interchange. But when it comes to healthy relationships, the most important thing here is that you give each other what you need. This is how harmony is achieved and all needs are closed. Just imagine if you think that what you want from your beloved is a consumer attitude towards people. But the fact is that then you will look for what you lack on the side. It is absolutely impossible to love a person just like that, for nothing, if he is nothing. You don't fall in love with a bum on the street rummaging through a trash can. Most likely, your choice will fall on a young beauty who behaves politely and well-mannered, and also works somewhere, although the latter is not necessary if you have money. And you are generously ready to offer them to her for her favor to you. Is not it? It is unlikely that you will consider that she is using you.
But what's wrong with this word, if everyone gets what he wants? If you have a lot of money and you don’t really need it and don’t particularly please you, but please her, then you will even be pleased that such a beautiful nymph lives next to you and spends your money, because you don’t even notice these expenses, because you get sex and aesthetic pleasure from her. But if you lived with a disgusted wife who looks untidy, then you would be very hovering at the moment that she spends your money. So the consumer attitude towards people in each individual case can be interpreted differently.
Consider the consumer relations of the sexes.
Initially, our society is considered patriarchal and the main thing in the family is a man who provides for it. In this regard, it seems that he should be in a dominant position, but the fact is that sometimes this does not happen, and even relations on an equal footing do not occur.
By the way, in such families, not only the man who is used suffers. Women in these families usually value only their husband's money, and absolutely do not pay attention to his needs and emotions. Such marriages are kept on money, or destroyed. If at the very beginning of a relationship a man does not understand that this woman only needs his money, then at some point he notices that for her he is just a walking wallet.
The use of a man by a woman usually looks like this
- She constantly expects gifts from you, and if there are none, she is offended, refuses intimacy and so on.
- She never gives you anything in return.
- And if you give something, she takes it for granted.
- She constantly tells you what your duties should be, but she herself does nothing for the family and for you.
If you have noticed that you are being treated as a consumer, then you should first understand how ready you are to endure this in life. Looking ahead, it is worth saying that you will not change your wife or the girl who is used to milking you. The consumer attitude towards people in her was formed long before you, and it is useless to bring her to a conversation, ask her to change or swear. In that case, you can either leave or endure it. But there are cases when a woman becomes like this in marriage, when you forbid her to make any decisions in the family and open her to the kitchen to cook borscht.
Thus, your relationship collapses, and at some point she also begins to treat you consumerly. If you have such a situation in your family, then first figure out if you are to blame for this, if not, then already make a decision about parting, or choose to endure.
The use of a woman
This is to some extent a very ancient practice, because women received freedom of speech quite recently. Now you can often meet men who believe that a woman is not quite a person, but an appendage to her man. It also came from the fact that it was believed that the woman came from the rib of Adam. Therefore, she is not quite a complete person. This approach is fundamentally wrong and calls for the devaluation of women, using them only to perform reproductive functions.
Perhaps you have friends who believe that a woman should take care of life, children and does not have the right to vote. The husband earns, and a little, and thinks that he can afford absolutely everything he wants, including other women. If you do not have such friends, then you are very lucky.
Girls and wives of such people can patiently live with them and endure this humiliation, if they have money, then turn to a psychologist and friends, complaining about misunderstanding and lack of respect. And if they pull themselves together, then they manage to leave, but not all women have enough willpower for such decisive actions. Very often, women themselves are to blame for such a consumer attitude, because when they fall in love, they forget that they are an independent person, a person who is able to make decisions herself and can easily live without a man.
Sometimes the reasons are in childhood, when a woman sees that her father behaves this way towards her mother, and involuntarily adopts this pattern of behavior.
What to do if a child shows a consumer attitude towards people
Very often his parents are to blame for this, who want the child to be a good boy and not run up for trouble. Such children grow up into adult infantiles, and this is even worse than bullies. It is possible to talk about the consumer attitude of a child towards people, starting from the age of kindergarten. You need to understand right away that this is not the norm.
- If your child treats you as someone who can be used and do nothing yourself, then you need to start correcting this as soon as possible.
- Try, as soon as the child begins to behave more or less consciously, give him the freedom to decide something. At least it’s elementary to choose food, clothes and help parents. Try to show your child that communication and relationships should be mutually beneficial. So you can slowly instill habits and explain that help and empathy are very important in a relationship.
- If we talk about duties, then at a very early age, the parent should explain to the child that he should help around the house, and when he grows up, earn money in any way possible. If you give him your money, he will get used to sitting on your neck and not doing anything on his own. The sooner you explain this to your child, the better.
- Try to spoil your child less, because then he will take everything good for granted and this is very bad. Try to make sure that the child understands that he is loved, but at the same time they are not ready to give him everything: his time, money and effort, and are not ready to fulfill any of his whims. He must understand that because he was born, his parents' lives are not over, and they have the right to their lives.
Why is the consumer attitude towards people and life such a big problem?
If it’s not obvious to you, then it’s worth saying that if you live with such thoughts that you can use absolutely anyone for your own purposes, then most likely you will have serious difficulties in communicating with your loved ones, and just around. We ourselves are to blame for the fact that now there are so many people who are only aimed at using others, and they absolutely do not care about your feelings if you do not have money or beauty.
Do not forget that the human character is very difficult to change, and try, when you have children, to explain to them that the consumer attitude towards people is unacceptable, and do not treat anyone like that yourself.
How to understand that you are being used?
The fact is that good, healthy relationships between people should be built only on mutual respect and trust. For example, love at first sight exists, but it does not necessarily occur simultaneously with both partners, but if you respect the girl you fell in love with, then with a high probability she will fall in love with you too.
It doesn't matter how much money a person has, (although no, he still has), but it should not be decisive in a relationship. Look, let's say he earns so little that the couple simply has nowhere to live, or only enough to rent an apartment and the cheapest food. So you will not live long, because when there is not enough money, relationships begin to deteriorate due to banal poverty and mutual claims. And if you earn a lot, but behave badly, for example, you are an abuser or think that a woman is your slave, then nothing good will shine for you in such a relationship either. Therefore, money matters, but your character is even more important. In order for you to understand how harmful it is to carry a consumer attitude towards people in yourself, you must start yourself and figure out what makes you treat others this way and how to change it.
- Try to look at the people around you without judging their appearance or having money. Try in any case to look into his soul, and try to understand what he hides in his heart. You should be interested in the character of a person, not his shell.
- Stop thinking only about yourself. Look around, at least at your immediate surroundings, and think about what you can do for others. Help them, maybe spend some money. The fact is that in the modern world people very rarely began to help each other, and if people are helped too much, then they sit on their necks. So, it is very important to find this very golden mean so that a person does not have time to get angry at the world and people, and does not sit on your neck.
- If you are currently in a romantic or friendly relationship with someone, then try now to treat your woman or girlfriend as an equal person, just like you. And if you fell in love only with appearance, then learn to appreciate the inner world, try to find out what she wants, what she thinks and dreams about.
- Also look at how you treat your woman. It is very important that this is not a slave relationship, when you imagine your woman as just a thing. Something like multifunctional home appliances. If you notice that you are behaving like this, then correct yourself as quickly as possible and it is very strange that your woman is still with you. Those who value themselves do not tolerate inappropriate treatment.
- If you notice that your woman is behaving consumerly and begging for gifts from you, and maybe even demanding them, then you need to stop this as soon as possible in order to maintain normal relations and correct the situation. Perhaps you will not succeed, because, as already written above, a person cannot be remade if he himself does not want it. In this case, you have to leave if it really soars to you. And it should float.
- Learn to start a dialogue and deal with all problems through conversation. You are no longer 5 years old, and you are able to open your mouth and say what worries you in the face of your woman. Try, if she doesn't listen to you, stop giving her money and giving her gifts. If this does not reason with her, then find yourself another, more grateful woman. Do not forget that there are a lot of people in the world who can truly love you. Don't cling to anyone, even if you're crazy about love.
When your own relatives take advantage of you
Unfortunately, this happens very often. If you are more fortunate than your relatives, they often believe that from now on you owe them. Perhaps you have seen this with your friends, or perhaps you have experienced it yourself. Oh, how popular are such relatives who remember you only when they need money.
At the same time, they know well what to put pressure on, and usually it is a feeling of guilt. After all, you are successful and rich, and you can share, they are poor and unfortunate deprived people who need help. Are you really such a terrible person who will spare a pretty penny for your beloved uncle / nephew / brother?!
Only now they forget that they are healthy adults who can and should provide for themselves, just like you. By the way, it is not necessary to scandalize and behave rudely at the same time. Just calmly and clearly refuse to give them money again (or better not to start). Then they will have no other alternative than to go and start earning on their own.
In general, it is good and acceptable to offer help when people are in a very serious situation, when they will not be able to earn money on their own at the moment, for example, health problems or an accident. Otherwise, boundaries must be clearly drawn.
How to survive in this world of consumption?
When we talk about work, creating your own business and other commodity-money relations, the word "consumerism" sounds normal. After all, we go to restaurants, shops, pay money for services, products, and so on. Sometimes we even give bribes, hoping that the services that people provide us will be of better quality. This world has long understood and accepted these rules, and money began to be slowly associated with completely intangible things and feelings.
It is worth listening to modern music and songs, as it becomes clear that now it is not talent that is more important, but the money invested in a conditional "singer". If you listen to the texts of modern pop artists, you can go crazy.
And of course, I really want to have at least something left that commerce has not touched. At least relationships that relate to feelings.
But, unfortunately, all this also becomes something artificial. Very often there are situations when people simply get rid of each other and forget that they once loved and appreciated.
In today's world it is very dangerous to fall in love with someone and realize that your love for this person meant nothing.
Therefore, many believe that in this cruel world of consumers, pure love and friendship have no place. Every day and minute there are fewer and fewer people who can give themselves to a person sincerely and love the way people loved before. Fewer and fewer marriages are concluded without marriage contracts, less and less people say that they love each other, and if they do, they mean something completely different from what this phrase should mean.
There is a way out of this situation, and it is that you need to try very hard to try to love the people around you. And it should be something taken for granted. You are not obligated to give them your money, but being positive from the beginning is what every person should do in relation to others. Now people are most afraid of trusting others and therefore they are wary of life and people.
In this world, various trainings and marathons on the topic of how to finally learn to love yourself are extremely common, but at the same time, in fact, we already love ourselves very much, and treat others completely unfairly. At the same time, people can talk about some kind of love, responding to comments and congratulations on the holiday on Instagram, but this is not at all about love and not about friendship. When it comes to a person who is not perfect, but loves you, you have to really make sacrifices in order to try to understand him and love him as imperfect as he is. If we ourselves understood that we are not perfect, then perhaps it would be much easier for us.