A practical guide to online dating

Decided to help choose a behavior strategy for men who still continue to look for a maiden for an hour or a wife for life. A few useful and practical tips will help win the heart of any girl on the Internet.

Don't hide behind a photo of Brad Pitt, don't take pictures "next to a collectible Ferrari", be friendly with commas, and "if you're not sure about the spelling of her name, check it in a dictionary." The author shares the rules that will help win the heart of a girl on a dating site.

“Hello, I am a virtual girl. I have not been in the fresh air for 10 years and I don’t know living people... ”- this is exactly how I imagine myself in terrible dreams. For many years of being on the Internet in this virtual swamp, where every step is not at all saving your life, but falling into a new trap of consciousness, it seems to me that the philosophy of dating sites would fit perfectly on one A4 page and why do all these people annually spoil the paper, issuing manuals, I sincerely say: “God knows!”.

Over the years, I have spent countless hours sitting on various platforms and interacting with a million different people living in domestic and foreign metropolitan areas, sub-million cities and medium-sized villages. With the virtuosity of a magician, she changed cities in her profiles and virtually went on a new exciting journey almost every week, writing down in a notebook the features of people who disappear into another reality for hours.

Sometimes it was exciting, sometimes not so much. As my recent new acquaintance said - “Only 0.1% of the people on this site are healthy, the rest are pathological, what are you doing here?”. And this is very similar to the truth, because by this time I had already accumulated several volumes of plots for detective stories, thrillers, melodramas.

Stories about human ignorance and scrupulousness, romantic dreams and spiritual kindness. Retellings of grandmothers, aunts and spouses. References to philosophers and pets. Comparisons with indoor plants and meaningless smiles with brackets without a bridge of nose and eyes.

Thank you, it was extremely exciting to meet all of you gentlemen, but enough! Now I decided to help choose a strategy of behavior for those who still continue to look for a maiden for an hour or a wife for life.

It would seem that you need to spend some 15 minutes to present yourself as a business person instead of an inveterate jester, but it turns out that the standard rules should be chewed.

The first thing to do is to remove the photos in which you are all very happy with glasses on half your face. If there are five out of five such photos - in the furnace! Sit with a blank image. Nothing paints a person like his own face. Preferably shaved, preferably visually kept on the tie and collar of an ironed shirt.

Second. Understand that there is no intrigue if you are driving your car, and its price does not fall into the field of view of the camera. Having a steering wheel in front of you does not add centimeters to manhood, no points to aikyu, or status. The worst option you love so much doesn't work at all. Yes, yes, I'm talking about "I'll stand next to the collectible Ferrari."

Third. Do not hold alcohol in your hands - it spoils the whole landscape. In addition, I highly doubt that you then hand over the container to the appropriate points or bring it to the trash can. Want to take a photo? Put the bottle next to the photographer, hide it in the bushes, put it in your pocket, finally! By the way, about the damage to the landscape. This category includes the presence of numerous girls next to you (the more beautiful they are, the lower your rating will be), Adidas sweatpants and a naked torso.

Fourth. Of course, everyone suspects that the absence of your photo means only one thing - you are stigmatized as a married person, a pervert or a loser. It is better to ask a friend to photoshop a photo for you well.

Fifth. I don’t want to sit on a dating site, write right away - on what resources you can be found so that there is no wife and colleagues there. To preload a lot of additional unnecessary applications on your gadget for you alone.

Sixth. Imagine for a moment that a serious girl is reading your profile. Not all the same you with frivolous time to spend? Answer yourself the question “Why should she write to you, looking at your photographs, in which you walk naked along the Black Sea, holding the sambrero with your left leg raised?”. Hint: Pinocchio costume, glued mustaches are humor, trying on women's wardrobe is called differently.

Seventh (of the favorite). Do not create with your messages the appearance that before meeting you, a woman was a worthless, feeble old maid and only after you wrote her your triumphant “Hello, let's meet?”, “Hi, why are you sad?”, “Are you bored?”, she will be saved from unknown old age.

Eighth. Try to write “what” instead of “che”, occasionally throw commas between words (let them not stand correctly, but it will seem to her that you are familiar with punctuation!), If you are not sure about the correct spelling of her name, check it in a dictionary. "Katyusha", like "Irish" and "Yulyasha" - look offensive and cut communication in the bud.

Ninth. If you're hiding under pictures of Brad Peet and Tom Cruise, be prepared to have the same Jennifer Lopez and Milla Kunis come to you on a date.

Tenth. The rule “silence is golden” does not always work on the Internet. An empty profile is still a minus, not a plus. If nothing is known about you, then you are probably just a dunce, a parasite and an empty person. Feel free to write in detail about your hobbies. Take ten minutes to point out that you love animals (especially cats!), love making cheese sandwiches in the morning, and dream of going to New York and getting a 3D printer. Did you manage to visit somewhere? Demonstrate! And even better - sign these photos humorously and at the same time truthfully.

The philosophy of dating sites is simple. In Moscow and St. Petersburg, you are invited to a restaurant, wanting to wake up with you in the morning. In Europe, they invite you to a bar, knowing that you will wake up separately, because he is gay. In your neighborhood, everyone stupidly wants to eat pussy without even asking if you have any pets. It's not worth getting offended by certain suggestions because 1 You love your nerves 2 You know what you need 3 The presence of pranksters in the world suggests that everything is not yet as bad as the daily papers make it out to be. Just take it easy and smile.

In general, every six months I look at everyone who exists on the site, living in my favorite cities. I have this type of insomnia. Therefore, I can say that we lived hand in hand with 5,000 men, I can quite. I know many people not only in person, but also in all social networks. True, I rarely find out in real life - my own sense of self-preservation delimits virtuality and reality as much as possible.

I often come across the question “Why are you changing the city?”. And here, too, there is a share of interestingness - people do not understand what it is like to travel and get out for a weekend in the nearest city. If there is Moscow, then not everyone is eager to “walk” outside the Moscow Ring Road. But if there is Tobolsk, then 700 kilometers for the sake of an excursion to the Kremlin and a local history museum with a Decembrist cemetery - just spit! Such is our understanding of inner freedom and active life, northerners, although the desires of those representatives of our country and others are the same - family, harmony, happiness.

Source: taylakovaeka