A perfect and real day in the life of a man

Relaxing on the beach with Miss World, Las Vegas, 3 buckets of cognac, hot tub with 3 women... What would a man's ideal and real day look like?

A perfect day in the life of a man

10.00 - wake up, scratch 10.30 - morning toilet, while reading the latest news, shave 11.00 - breakfast in bed (beef steak, toast, coffee), peddler wears only stockings 11.30 - limousine takes to the stadium, football match with a score of 7: 0 in favor of your favorite team 13.00 - lunch in a restaurant at the expense of the institution 14.00 - afternoon rest on the beach with Miss World, pleasant work 15.00 - business manager brings documents for signing, shares have tripled in price 16.00 - gym, light workout (mainly showing relief muscles), 3 beauties asked for the phone 17.00 - sauna with friends and beer, Thai massage session, pleasant work 18.30 - private jet delivers to Las Vegas 19.00 - dinner at the Ritz

19.30 - casino. Win a lot of money and drink 3 buckets of cognac 22.00 - watching the evening news. Porn and marijuana are legalized worldwide, Schumacher received Russian citizenship, DiCaprio was nailed 23.30 - a hot tub with three women, pleasant work 00.30 - a naked waitress brings bottles of beer between her breasts at the expense of the institution 01.00 - fall asleep

A real day in the life of a man:

06.00 - the alarm clock yells. Damn, who invented this infernal car 06.30 - jump up and find that you are late 06.40 - hastily pull on your pants, pour instant coffee into a mug and pour boiling water over the ashtray. Sip, not feel the difference. Empty and feel the difference 06.50 - as always, clean socks are hiding somewhere. Your friend's nasty cat put a puddle in your shoe. Kick a cat 07.00 - shave, find a band-aid, seal up the lesions 07.30 - jump out of the house, someone scribbled X in the car

08.00 - as always there are no places in the parking lot the most important papers were left at home 13.00 - lunch break, hot dog from the kiosk. Load Kwak and after the first shot you will see the Boss behind you. He sarcastically reminds of the work and notifies of the deprivation of the bonus 17.00 - breathe easy, the work is done 17.30 - a fool from the neighboring department let out a virus. All work to hell 17.40 - meet friends at the exit, they offer to go to the bathhouse. Agree and remember that today the future mother-in-law is coming at 18.00 - to come home, listen to a couple of reproaches, take out the garbage, kick the cat, sweep and shake out the carpets 19.00 - Marianna Vasilievna arrived. Blah, who invented the mothers of friends 19.30 - the old witch notices that her daughter has turned pale and should be taken on vacation. At worst, buy a new coat 21.00 - listen to the evening news. Favorite football team blew it with a score of 0:7 21.30 - these fools are listening to Kirkorov with might and main and discussing men. Listen to all reproaches 22.00 - sit down for documents. The head does nothing. Drink a bottle of beer. Warm!!!!!!!!! 00.00 - Go to the toilet. Hearing a voice in the kitchen: “Well, daughter, it’s fashionable for men now - to write past the toilet...” There is no energy for a shower at 00.30 - put Vasilyevna in the next room. A friend has a headache, fatigue, and in general, her mother hears everything 01.00 - set an alarm clock and finally persuade her friend. As soon as she turns, a voice is heard: “Daughter, where is your night light?” 01.20 - fall asleep. [eight].