50 best phrases spoken by men

1. I love work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at her for hours. © Jerome K. Jerome.

2. What if the world is an illusion and there is nothing? Then I definitely overpaid for the carpet. © Woody Allen.

3. The doctor gives me two weeks to live. It would be nice in August. © Ronnie Shakes.

4. Many men, falling in love with a dimple on their cheek, mistakenly marry the whole girl. © Stephen Leacock.

5. Boxing is a friendly hemorrhage. © Emil meek.

6. The first person who threw a curse instead of a stone was the creator of civilization. © Sigmund Freud.

7. Freedom of speech is never so precious as when a hammer strikes the finger accidentally. © Marshall Lumsden.

8. Difficult tasks are performed immediately, impossible tasks - a little later. © US Air Force motto.

9. Happiness is pleasure without remorse.

10. I am grateful that I have two middle fingers, although it would be nice to have a couple more. © Marilyn Manson.

11. Life is what happens to us while we make plans. © John Lennon.

12. I don't always know what I'm talking about, but I know that I'm right. © Muhammad Ali.

13. Thoughts and women do not come together. © M. Zhvanetsky.

14. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known. © Walt Disney.

15. When sober, put all your drunken promises into practice - this will teach you to keep your mouth shut. © Ernest Hemingway.

16. I was ill for three days, and it had a great effect on my health. © Sergey Dovlatov.

17. You yourself, more than anyone else in the entire universe, deserve your love and devotion. © Buddha.

18. In order to have sex, a woman needs a reason, a man needs a place. © Billy Crystal.

19. I could not wait for success and set off on a journey without him. © Jonathan Winters.

20. Marriage is an interesting form of combat in which you must sleep with the enemy. © Lee Daniel.

21. I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I just hate plants. © A. Whitney Brown.

22. If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. © Stan Levinson.

23. To get a woman, tell her that you are impotent. She will definitely check it out. © Cary Grant.

24. After twenty years of marriage, I seem to have begun to understand what a woman wants. The answer to this question lies somewhere between dialogue and chocolate. © Mel Gibson.

25. There is only one way to a happy marriage; as soon as I find him, I will marry again. © Clint Eastwood.

26. The electronic brain will think for us in the same way that the electric chair dies for us. © Stanislav Jerzy Lec.

27. Set a goal every day to do something that you don't like. This golden rule will help you do your duty without disgust. © Mark Twain.

28. Sex is a sitcom.

29. Most people are only as happy as they choose to be. © Abraham Lincoln.

30. Mind speaks, wisdom listens. © Jimi Hendrix.

31. Beer is another proof that the Lord loves us and wants us to be happy. © Benjamin Franklin.

32. If you go out to people, come in. © Vasily Turenko.

33. Nothing ruins a target like a hit. © Attributed to N. Fomenko.

34. A pessimist sees difficulties at every opportunity; An optimist sees an opportunity in every difficulty. © Winston Churchill.

35. There are only two infinite things: the universe and stupidity. Although I'm not sure about the universe. © Albert Einstein.

36. The surest way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it at least once. © Joseph Kossman.

37. The director is the same person as everyone else, only he does not know about it.

38. If your wife cheated on you, then rejoice that she cheated on you, and not on the fatherland. © Anton Chekhov.

39. Be the lesser of two evils. © Ambrose Bierce.

40. God gave a man a brain and a penis, but, alas, when one of them works, the other one lacks blood supply. © Robin Williams on Clinton and Lewinsky.

41. They learn from their mistakes - they make a career on strangers. © Alexander Furstenberg.

42. I remain under the impression that I made on a woman for a long time. © Karl Kraus.

43. I've always said that a woman should be like a good horror film: the more room for imagination, the better. © Alfred Hitchcock.

44. Love your neighbor as yourself, but do not be intimate with just anyone. © Louis Beal.

45. The world is ruled by the young when they are old. © George Bernard Shaw.

46. I can live my life without the essentials, but I cannot live without the superfluous. © Mikhail Svetlov.

47. I am never as busy as during my leisure hours. © Cicero.

48. A bachelor is a person who has a table and a sofa, and the history of the sofa is much richer. © Henryk Yagodzinsky.

49. I'll be back. © Arnold Schwarzenegger.

50. Love for a woman is something between dialogue and chocolate. And for a man - something between sex and beer. © Mel Gibson.